Who does Mr. Salt go to when he has back pain?

Dr. Pepper.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/GoodEveningItsAsa
πŸ“…︎ Dec 25 2020
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A state trooper pulled alongside a speeding car on the freeway

Glancing at the car he was astounded to see that the elderly woman behind the wheel was knitting

The trooper crank down his window and yelled to the driver β€œpull over”

β€œNo!” yelled the woman β€œit’s a cardigan”

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/crazyfortaco
πŸ“…︎ Dec 16 2020
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My friend was very irritated because his fishing pole broke and he had to wind up the fishing line manually.

He was being a reel crank.

πŸ‘︎ 16
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πŸ‘€︎ u/FinalCaveat
πŸ“…︎ Jun 11 2020
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A woman actually wrote the song: "Itsy-Bitsy, Teenie-Weenie, Yellow Polka-Dot Bikini."

A man would have written: "Itsy-Bitsy, GIANT CRANK, Yellow Polka-Dot Bikini."

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/PotBuzz
πŸ“…︎ May 03 2020
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Dad jokes at the old amusement park.

First day of summer vacation, pack up the family and bring them to Canobie Lake Park, a local amusement park.

We all get on the Ferris Wheel and the listen to the instructions:

Operator: "Please keep you arms and legs in the cart at all times, remain seated until the ride comes to a complete stop and please NO ROCKING!"

Me: "Awwww man, I was just abut to crank some AC/DC"

My family and the family in line behind us: ::audible groans::

πŸ‘︎ 51
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MikeTheBum
πŸ“…︎ Jun 23 2016
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9yo son dadjoked me while rocking out to the radio

My son and I were just now driving home from visiting his grandmother with the radio somewhat cranked up.

Son: "Dad, what's your jam?" Me: "I am not really sure, I like many different kinds of music. What's your jam son?" Son: "Grape..... Grape jam."

πŸ‘︎ 45
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πŸ‘€︎ u/_riposte
πŸ“…︎ Feb 21 2015
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My 4 year old brought home an updated "See you later alligator" from daycare this week.

He said "See you later, Alligator!", I started to reply with the usual "in a while, crocodile" but he beat me to it with "don't forget your toilet paper!"

So proud, he'll crank a few dad jokes put when he has children of his own!

It might be old (this is reddit!) but I never heard it before, I wish I knew that one as a kid!

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Rohboat3
πŸ“…︎ Dec 05 2016
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My dad got me and my sister today in the car

I was in the car with my sister and my (very white) dad today and we were next to an old black genesis that was blasting rap music with the windows down. So my dad looks at my sister and I with a smirk, changes to the hip hop station on satellite, winds down the window and cranks the volume to the top, bobbing his head along with the music and making peace signs. He refused to turn it off for the rest of the 10 minute car ride because he was so proud of himself.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Gre3nLeader
πŸ“…︎ Sep 15 2016
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Like a well oiled machine.

My dad cranks out jokes left and right during each dinner we have together.

Today though, got more groans than usual.

My mom has been suffering some back pain this week, and today was especially bad. The kitchen lights were giving her a headache to boot. She asked "it's to bright in here..."trying to ask if someone would turn of the lights. She didn't stand a chance, before even finishing her sentence my dad had already risen with his plate and fork in hand and exclaimed "I'll just eat in the other room then".

πŸ‘︎ 23
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πŸ‘€︎ u/paulrulez742
πŸ“…︎ Oct 19 2013
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Teacher was for real?

In class, my teacher went off on a tangent and started to explain the history of film.

Teacher: there was a point when there was a job where some one would be cranking a machine for 20 minutes to display the film can.

Student: Wow, spinning a crank for 20 minutes?? Are you for reel?

Teacher: Oh yes it was a chore.....ohhhh (groans)

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/PatMeGron
πŸ“…︎ Feb 01 2015
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