Smaller babies may be delivered by stork but the heavier ones need a crane.
πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/kickypie
πŸ“…︎ Nov 28 2020
🚨︎ report
Crane flies are optimists.

They're always looking on the bright side.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/PeeSeaBayBee
πŸ“…︎ Nov 27 2020
🚨︎ report
She fell in love with a crane operator

She got let down

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Josentangles
πŸ“…︎ Nov 20 2020
🚨︎ report
Thanks crane.
πŸ‘︎ 16
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πŸ‘€︎ u/puggzu
πŸ“…︎ May 04 2020
🚨︎ report
What's a crane operator's favorite pasta?

Rigatoni

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/megatronJERK
πŸ“…︎ Feb 21 2020
🚨︎ report
Heavy lifting with cranes
πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/knorke3
πŸ“…︎ Dec 13 2019
🚨︎ report
What kind of crane is that?

My wife responded, "it's a u"

"A u?" I said. "Never heard of that!"

"Yep, a ukraine."

Got dad joked by my wife. πŸ˜‘

πŸ‘︎ 32
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πŸ‘€︎ u/HomesickRedneck
πŸ“…︎ Aug 11 2019
🚨︎ report
Cranes must be really great dates.

They have the best pick up lines.

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ajjanialthor
πŸ“…︎ Jul 15 2019
🚨︎ report
Rudolph the red-nosed crane-deer
πŸ‘︎ 19
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Matt15A
πŸ“…︎ Dec 12 2018
🚨︎ report
Ichabod Train - play on Ichabod Crane, the headless horseman from Sleepy Hollow
πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/JacksGreenEyes
πŸ“…︎ Feb 21 2019
🚨︎ report
Crane operator pulled this on me today

While on a roof 40 feet above the operator he shuts off the crane and says "you know snarky, I really look up to you"

πŸ‘︎ 39
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πŸ‘€︎ u/snarky2113
πŸ“…︎ Nov 19 2015
🚨︎ report
A giant list of puns

What do you call a fake noodle? An Impasta.

I would avoid the sushi if I was you. It’s a little fishy.

Want to hear a joke about paper? Nevermind it’s tearable.

Why did the cookie cry? Because his father was a wafer so long!

I used to work in a shoe recycling shop. It was sole destroying.

What do you call a belt with a watch on it? A waist of time.

How do you organize an outer space party? You planet.

I went to a seafood disco last week... and pulled a mussel.

Do you know where you can get chicken broth in bulk? The stock market.

I cut my finger chopping cheese, but I think that I may have greater problems.

My cat was just sick on the carpet, I don’t think it’s feline well.

Why did the octopus beat the shark in a fight? Because it was well armed.

How much does a hipster weigh? An instagram.

What did daddy spider say to baby spider? You spend too much time on the web.

Atheism is a non-prophet organisation.

There’s a new type of broom out, it’s sweeping the nation.

What cheese can never be yours? Nacho cheese.

What did the Buffalo say to his little boy when he dropped him off at school? Bison.

Have you ever heard of a music group called Cellophane? They mostly wrap.

Why does Superman gets invited to dinners? Because he is a Supperhero.

How was Rome split in two? With a pair of Ceasars.

The shovel was a ground breaking invention.

A scarecrow says, "This job isn't for everyone, but hay, it's in my jeans."

A Buddhist walks up to a hot dog stand and says, "Make me one with everything."

Did you hear about the guy who lost the left side of his body? He's alright now.

What do you call a girl with one leg that's shorter than the other? Ilene.

I did a theatrical performance on puns. It was a play on words.

What do you do with a dead chemist? You barium.

I bet the person who created the door knocker won a Nobel prize.

Towels can’t tell jokes. They have a dry sense of humor.

Two birds are sitting on a perch and one says "Do you smell fish?"

Do you know sign language? You should learn it, it’s pretty handy.

What do you call a beautiful pumpkin? GOURDgeous.

Why did one banana spy on the other? Because she was appealing.

What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.

What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef.

What do you call a cow with all of its legs? High steaks.

A cross eyed teacher couldn’t control his pupils.

After the accident, the juggler didn’t have the balls to do it.

I used to be afraid of hurdles, but I got over

... keep reading on reddit ➑

πŸ‘︎ 90
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πŸ‘€︎ u/halfs2010
πŸ“…︎ Nov 27 2020
🚨︎ report
What kind of birds do you find in Chernobyl?

U-crane

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Poe3inmotion
πŸ“…︎ May 15 2020
🚨︎ report
Which country is best at construction?

U-crane

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/yashrajt
πŸ“…︎ Jan 30 2020
🚨︎ report
My dad and I are walking around Munich and I point out all the construction.

True story, he says, β€œThe crane business must be booming.”

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thatranger974
πŸ“…︎ Sep 10 2019
🚨︎ report
Of storks deliver little babies, what delivers big babies?

Cranes

πŸ‘︎ 62
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πŸ‘€︎ u/labink
πŸ“…︎ Jun 24 2019
🚨︎ report
Three clowns measuring a pole

There were three clowns; one crane operator, one pole climber, one guide. The guide tied the crane to the end of a pole. The crane operator would then pick the pole up on end. The climber climbed to the top and dropped a tape measure which the guide promptly read and noted the measurement. The crane operator then lowered the pole to the ground and repositioned to pick up another pole.

This went on several times when the foreman came over and asked why they couldn’t measure the poles while they were laying on the ground?

The clowns replied, β€œwe need to know how tall the poles are, not how long!"

source: http://bestcleanfunnyjokes.com/three-clowns-measuring-a-pole/

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/tfraymond
πŸ“…︎ Nov 07 2019
🚨︎ report
What am I supposed to be looking atat
πŸ‘︎ 31
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Blacky_1207
πŸ“…︎ Apr 29 2014
🚨︎ report
A trip to the zoo...

A few years ago, my dad decided to take my younger sister, my girlfriend and me to the Philadelphia Zoo. We were just walking in among a crowd of people and my dad noticed there were some construction workers on a roof of one of the buildings in the zoo. Almost immediately, he pointed up to them and said, very loudly, "Hey look! There's a flock of Homo sapiens!" All of the kids and some of the adults in the surrounding area quickly looked up. I even heard one kid ask his mom what a Homo sapien was. My pops was pretty proud of himself for that one.

πŸ‘︎ 201
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jturch
πŸ“…︎ Aug 05 2014
🚨︎ report
Me and my dad were at a local lake...

I see a Crane standing in some cattails and I jokingly call it a Stork but then I seriously ask my dad if Storks also like to be around lakes and he says "No, they hang around hospitals."

I groaned...

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Zamibe
πŸ“…︎ Sep 18 2016
🚨︎ report
My fiancΓ©e and I were watching the olympics together this morning

" Did you know that Chiropractor is the most prevalent profession in Ukraine?"

"Hmm, I had no idea"

"Yeah, it's 'cause when you live there you crane your neck a lot"

eye roll

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Kangaroo_Quart
πŸ“…︎ Aug 07 2016
🚨︎ report
Construction workers

While putting up framework in a construction site, a worker waves at the crane operator about to place a main support beam and yells "stop, that beam isn't strong enough! There's no way this will hold the upper levels!". The foreman pushes the worker aside and yells to the crane driver "It's fine. Truss me, I'm an engineer!"

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ May 18 2015
🚨︎ report
We will never run out of puns now!

A giant list of puns

What do you call a fake noodle? An Impasta.

I would avoid the sushi if I was you. It’s a little fishy.

Want to hear a joke about paper? Nevermind it’s tearable.

Why did the cookie cry? Because his father was a wafer so long!

I used to work in a shoe recycling shop. It was sole destroying.

What do you call a belt with a watch on it? A waist of time.

How do you organize an outer space party? You planet.

I went to a seafood disco last week... and pulled a mussel.

Do you know where you can get chicken broth in bulk? The stock market.

I cut my finger chopping cheese, but I think that I may have greater problems.

My cat was just sick on the carpet, I don’t think it’s feline well.

Why did the octopus beat the shark in a fight? Because it was well armed.

How much does a hipster weigh? An instagram.

What did daddy spider say to baby spider? You spend too much time on the web.

Atheism is a non-prophet organisation.

There’s a new type of broom out, it’s sweeping the nation.

What cheese can never be yours? Nacho cheese.

What did the Buffalo say to his little boy when he dropped him off at school? Bison.

Have you ever heard of a music group called Cellophane? They mostly wrap.

Why does Superman gets invited to dinners? Because he is a Supperhero.

How was Rome split in two? With a pair of Ceasars.

The shovel was a ground breaking invention.

A scarecrow says, "This job isn't for everyone, but hay, it's in my jeans."

A Buddhist walks up to a hot dog stand and says, "Make me one with everything."

Did you hear about the guy who lost the left side of his body? He's alright now.

What do you call a girl with one leg that's shorter than the other? Ilene.

I did a theatrical performance on puns. It was a play on words.

What do you do with a dead chemist? You barium.

I bet the person who created the door knocker won a Nobel prize.

Towels can’t tell jokes. They have a dry sense of humor.

Two birds are sitting on a perch and one says "Do you smell fish?"

Do you know sign language? You should learn it, it’s pretty handy.

What do you call a beautiful pumpkin? GOURDgeous.

Why did one banana spy on the other? Because she was appealing.

What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.

What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef.

What do you call a cow with all of its legs? High steaks.

A cross eyed teacher couldn’t control his pupils.

After the accident, the juggler didn’t have the balls to do it.

I used to be afraid of hu

... keep reading on reddit ➑

πŸ‘︎ 18
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/communist_scumbag
πŸ“…︎ Nov 26 2020
🚨︎ report
A giant list of puns from r/copypasta

A giant list of puns

What do you call a fake noodle? An Impasta.

I would avoid the sushi if I was you. It’s a little fishy.

Want to hear a joke about paper? Nevermind it’s tearable.

Why did the cookie cry? Because his father was a wafer so long!

I used to work in a shoe recycling shop. It was sole destroying.

What do you call a belt with a watch on it? A waist of time.

How do you organize an outer space party? You planet.

I went to a seafood disco last week... and pulled a mussel.

Do you know where you can get chicken broth in bulk? The stock market.

I cut my finger chopping cheese, but I think that I may have greater problems.

My cat was just sick on the carpet, I don’t think it’s feline well.

Why did the octopus beat the shark in a fight? Because it was well armed.

How much does a hipster weigh? An instagram.

What did daddy spider say to baby spider? You spend too much time on the web.

Atheism is a non-prophet organisation.

There’s a new type of broom out, it’s sweeping the nation.

What cheese can never be yours? Nacho cheese.

What did the Buffalo say to his little boy when he dropped him off at school? Bison.

Have you ever heard of a music group called Cellophane? They mostly wrap.

Why does Superman gets invited to dinners? Because he is a Supperhero.

How was Rome split in two? With a pair of Ceasars.

The shovel was a ground breaking invention.

A scarecrow says, "This job isn't for everyone, but hay, it's in my jeans."

A Buddhist walks up to a hot dog stand and says, "Make me one with everything."

Did you hear about the guy who lost the left side of his body? He's alright now.

What do you call a girl with one leg that's shorter than the other? Ilene.

I did a theatrical performance on puns. It was a play on words.

What do you do with a dead chemist? You barium.

I bet the person who created the door knocker won a Nobel prize.

Towels can’t tell jokes. They have a dry sense of humor.

Two birds are sitting on a perch and one says "Do you smell fish?"

Do you know sign language? You should learn it, it’s pretty handy.

What do you call a beautiful pumpkin? GOURDgeous.

Why did one banana spy on the other? Because she was appealing.

What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.

What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef.

What do you call a cow with all of its legs? High steaks.

A cross eyed teacher couldn’t control his pupils.

After the accident, the juggler didn’t have the balls to do it.

I used to be afraid of hu

... keep reading on reddit ➑

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Nov 26 2020
🚨︎ report
Smaller babies get delivered by the stork

Bigger babies need a crane

πŸ‘︎ 88
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Orion_Levy2
πŸ“…︎ Nov 11 2020
🚨︎ report
Smaller babies may be delivered by stork....

But, the heavier ones need a crane.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Nov 30 2020
🚨︎ report
Smaller babies may be delivered by stork...

but the heavier ones need a crane.

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/hoodwILL
πŸ“…︎ Nov 17 2020
🚨︎ report
Smaller babies may be delivered by stork

but the heavier ones need a crane.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/kickypie
πŸ“…︎ Jun 07 2020
🚨︎ report
If small babies are delivered by storks what are large babies delivered by?

Cranes

πŸ‘︎ 14
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Savage99308
πŸ“…︎ May 27 2020
🚨︎ report
Small babies are delivered by storks but,

Large babies are delivered by cranes.

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/labink
πŸ“…︎ May 26 2020
🚨︎ report
514 Dad Jokes

What do you call a fake noodle? An Impasta.

I would avoid the sushi if I was you. It’s a little fishy.

Want to hear a joke about paper? Nevermind it’s tearable.

Why did the cookie cry? Because his father was a wafer so long!

I used to work in a shoe recycling shop. It was sole destroying.

What do you call a belt with a watch on it? A waist of time.

How do you organize an outer space party? You planet.

I went to a seafood disco last week... and pulled a mussel.

Do you know where you can get chicken broth in bulk? The stock market.

I cut my finger chopping cheese, but I think that I may have greater problems.

My cat was just sick on the carpet, I don’t think it’s feline well.

Why did the octopus beat the shark in a fight? Because it was well armed.

How much does a hipster weigh? An instagram.

What did daddy spider say to baby spider? You spend too much time on the web.

Atheism is a non-prophet organisation.

There’s a new type of broom out, it’s sweeping the nation.

What cheese can never be yours? Nacho cheese.

What did the Buffalo say to his little boy when he dropped him off at school? Bison.

Have you ever heard of a music group called Cellophane? They mostly wrap.

Why does Superman gets invited to dinners? Because he is a Supperhero.

How was Rome split in two? With a pair of Ceasars.

The shovel was a ground breaking invention.

A scarecrow says, "This job isn't for everyone, but hay, it's in my jeans."

A Buddhist walks up to a hot dog stand and says, "Make me one with everything."

Did you hear about the guy who lost the left side of his body? He's alright now.

What do you call a girl with one leg that's shorter than the other? Ilene.

I did a theatrical performance on puns. It was a play on words.

What do you do with a dead chemist? You barium.

I bet the person who created the door knocker won a Nobel prize.

Towels can’t tell jokes. They have a dry sense of humor.

Two birds are sitting on a perch and one says "Do you smell fish?"

Do you know sign language? You should learn it, it’s pretty handy.

What do you call a beautiful pumpkin? GOURDgeous.

Why did one banana spy on the other? Because she was appealing.

What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.

What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef.

What do you call a cow with all of its legs? High steaks.

A cross eyed teacher couldn’t control his pupils.

After the accident, the juggler didn

... keep reading on reddit ➑

πŸ‘︎ 75
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Josvys
πŸ“…︎ Oct 03 2019
🚨︎ report
small babies may be delivered by a stork

but larger babies are delivered by a crane

πŸ‘︎ 4k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/SkyTheShyGuy
πŸ“…︎ May 16 2018
🚨︎ report
Did you know that small babies are delivered by storks, but....

Large babies are delivered by cranes.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/labink
πŸ“…︎ May 16 2019
🚨︎ report
Which country has the most construction equipment?

U-crane.

πŸ‘︎ 14
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Pdonkey
πŸ“…︎ Mar 08 2019
🚨︎ report
When it comes to baby delivering, a stork can deliver a baby...

But a heavy baby might need a crane...

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/JaymantheLegend
πŸ“…︎ Sep 06 2018
🚨︎ report
I was such a fat baby

That instead of a stork, I was delivered by a crane.

πŸ‘︎ 30
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Feb 12 2018
🚨︎ report
Why are workers in Kiev very happy today ?

Why are workers in Kiev very happy today ?

Because they just got a new crane !

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Leonhart01
πŸ“…︎ Jan 17 2014
🚨︎ report

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