I'm on the fence about the COVID-19 vaccine, but the free stuff you can get for showing your vaccination card looks really nice.

I guess it's worth a shot.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/ixfd64
๐Ÿ“…︎ Mar 26 2021
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I finally got the Covid vaccine yesterday and as I was driving I noticed my vision was blurry. I called the vaccination center and asked if I should go to the doctor or hospital. They said no.

But they encouraged me to immediately return to the vaccination center to pick up my glasses.

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๐Ÿ“…︎ Mar 18 2021
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I went to the doctor to get a splint for my sprained finger and instead got the COVID-19 vaccine.

I guess, I had a little vaccident.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Equal-Bus-557
๐Ÿ“…︎ May 18 2021
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I asked the nurse giving me my covid vaccine if she moonlights as IT

because she seems really good at installing antivirus!

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/APDeath99
๐Ÿ“…︎ May 16 2021
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If you and your buddies should all get COVID vaccines and the doses need to be kept in freezers...

then you're cracking open a cold Bud-Pfizer!

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/emeraldqueen24
๐Ÿ“…︎ Apr 29 2021
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What covid vaccine did Sagat from Street Fighter take?

Pfizer! Pfizer! Pfizer!

Sagat Tiger

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/ChadRStewart
๐Ÿ“…︎ Apr 20 2021
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Yesterday I received my second round of the Russian covid-19 vaccine...

It appears completely safe, with ะธo side effects whatsoeveั, and I feelshฮบฮน ฯ‡oฯoshฮฟฬ ั ั‡ัƒะฒัั‚ะฒัƒัŽ ัะตะฑั ะฝะตะผะฝะพะณะพ ัั‚ั€ะฐะฝะฝะพ ะธ ั ะดัƒะผะฐัŽ, ั‡ั‚ะพ ะฒั‹ั‚ะฐั‰ะธะป ะพัะปะธะฝั‹ะต ัƒัˆะธ.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/andersonfmly
๐Ÿ“…︎ Apr 16 2021
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Told my kid that I was taking my Mom to a Covid Vaccine event at the convention center.

They said, โ€œOh, a mass shooting.โ€

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Videoptional
๐Ÿ“…︎ Apr 14 2021
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Petco has a new Covid vaccine for animals & humans. In tests, some people have reported excessive hair growth on their hands. I'm going to get it anyway...

but it does give me paws.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/OK_Compooper
๐Ÿ“…︎ Apr 13 2021
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I tried to tell my vaccinated friend a COVID joke.

But he didn't get it

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/majestic_walrus1
๐Ÿ“…︎ Mar 30 2021
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My friend found out she was pregnant shortly after getting her covid vaccine

I'm calling it the Inoculate Conception

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/supra_elongata
๐Ÿ“…︎ Mar 30 2021
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Apparently the COVID vaccine causes constipation

When I got mine the other day they told me I had to wait 3 weeks to get number 2.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/oscargamble
๐Ÿ“…︎ Mar 27 2021
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The second COVID vaccine causes a speech disorder in Spanish speakers

They keep asking for dose dos

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/TheJadedSF
๐Ÿ“…︎ Mar 28 2021
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My wife told me to push fluids when I got my covid vaccine

I sent her this

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/wreckingjew
๐Ÿ“…︎ Mar 24 2021
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Chuck Norris didn't have to the the vaccine

COVID had to vaccinate against Chuck Norris

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Sal_Mandeni
๐Ÿ“…︎ Mar 16 2021
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I waited all afternoon to get my Covid vaccine in our small remote village, by the time it was my turn, they were administering them by candlelight...

Iโ€™m really not sure how effective they are, seems as if they are a shot in the dark.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/DinglebarryHandpump
๐Ÿ“…︎ Mar 08 2021
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Johnson&Johnson just announced that M&M will be the spokesman for their new Covid vaccine commercial...

Cuz you only get one shot, do not miss your chance to go. This opportunity comes once in a lifetime.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/KW-DadJoker
๐Ÿ“…︎ Mar 01 2021
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My Dad got his Covid vaccine in his leg

His Pfizer killing him

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Premier55
๐Ÿ“…︎ Feb 28 2021
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The power went out when I got my COVID vaccine, and I got lost in the building.

It was a shot in the dark, but I found it!

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/meltingavocado
๐Ÿ“…︎ Feb 27 2021
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I told my wife I was going to accompany her to get her Covid Vaccine, and see if they could do mine as well. She said they probably wouldn't. I replied, "I don't know..."

"It's worth a shot!"

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/TheRockingDead
๐Ÿ“…︎ Feb 26 2021
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Those who think the COVID-19 vaccine will modify their DNA

Should see it as an opportunity

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/wibie90
๐Ÿ“…︎ Feb 13 2021
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Went for my covid vaccine today

The covid tester asked if I had experienced a sudden loss of taste. I said no, I always dress this way

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/den_nis3524
๐Ÿ“…︎ Feb 03 2021
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I got a fake medical ID made to get the COVID vaccine, but I was rejected

It was worth a shot.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/inTRONet
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jan 26 2021
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Scientists in Dublin are assisting in the research for a covid vaccine.

They are known as the Fighting Virish

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/SplashbackDeuce
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jan 26 2021
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I have faith in Pfizer and its Covid vaccine, because they also make Viagra.

If Pfizer can raise the dead, it can save the living.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/VERBERD
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jan 04 2021
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If this new covid vaccine works...

...It'll be a real shot in the arm for 2021.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/weirdgroovynerd
๐Ÿ“…︎ Dec 31 2020
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I heard Frozen University is banning anyone who got the COVID vaccine from returning for the spring quarter

I guess if you get vaccinated you wonโ€™t be headed to the ICU.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/itmightbedave
๐Ÿ“…︎ Dec 19 2020
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Me, to my wife: They said that the Covid vaccines are safe and has no side effects.

My wife: Who did?

Me: Yep.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/porichoygupto
๐Ÿ“…︎ Dec 13 2020
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Dolly Parton partially funded Moderna's COVID Vaccine.

It comes in two very large dosey-doses.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/inspire_me_please
๐Ÿ“…︎ Nov 26 2020
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The Covid-19 vaccine should be tested on politicians first...

If they survive, the vaccine is safe.

If they don't, the country is safe.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/VERBERD
๐Ÿ“…︎ Nov 16 2020
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A bit nervous, but yesterday I volunteered for the COVID-19 vaccine trials.

The vaccine is one that was created in Russia. I received my first shot this morning at 7:00 am, and I wanted to let you all know that itโ€™s completely safe, with ะธo side effects whatsoeveั, and that I feelshฮบฮน ฯ‡oฯoshฮฟฬ ั ั‡ัƒะฒัั‚ะฒัƒัŽ ัะตะฑั ะฝะตะผะฝะพะณะพ ัั‚ั€ะฐะฝะฝะพ ะธ ั ะดัƒะผะฐัŽ, ั‡ั‚ะพ ะฒั‹ั‚ะฐั‰ะธะป ะพัะปะธะฝั‹ะต ัƒัˆะธ.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/pot8toes
๐Ÿ“…︎ Sep 28 2020
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I heard the government is going to put chips inside people with Covid vaccines...

I hope I get Doritos.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/mickerallen100
๐Ÿ“…︎ Sep 23 2020
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My dad was telling me about his doctorโ€™s appointment today. He needed to get some vaccines, but because of Covid he would have to go to the office and they would give them to him in his car.

He said he was going to be involved in a drive by shooting.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/MoDragonWang
๐Ÿ“…︎ Sep 16 2020
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Russian COVID-19 Vaccine

Quick PSA: I had the Russian Covid19 vaccination yesterday and can tell you there are absolutely no negative sideffski efectovski secundariosvki ะšั‚ะพ ะผะพะถะตั‚ ัั‚ะพ ะฟั€ะพั‡ะธั‚ะฐั‚ัŒ, ัั‚ะพ ัƒั€ะพะดะปะธะฒั‹ะน ะฟะฐั€ะตะฝัŒ. ะžะฑะพะถะฐัŽ ะ’ะปะฐะดะธะผะธั€ะฐ ะŸัƒั‚ะธะฝะฐ!

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/DamnRedhead
๐Ÿ“…︎ Aug 15 2020
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How did they develop the covid vaccine so quickly?

They were russian

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/_lmaoxd_
๐Ÿ“…︎ Aug 14 2020
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Even though Antarctica has 0 infected with Covid-19, they're believed to be among the candidates to win the race for a vaccine

They're in pole position

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/__KOBAKOBAKOBA__
๐Ÿ“…︎ Mar 24 2020
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I hear there's a new COVID-19 vaccine delivered via an audio interface as music.

It is hoped that this will lead to heard immunity.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/HoraceSchemer
๐Ÿ“…︎ Mar 15 2020
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This week I volunteered for the Russian developed Covid-19 vaccine...

I received my first shot yesterday at 4:00 pm, and I wanted to let you all know that itโ€™s completely safe, with ะธo side effects whatsoeveั, and that I feelshฮบฮน ฯ‡oฯoshฮฟฬ ั ั‡ัƒะฒัั‚ะฒัƒัŽ ัะตะฑั ะฝะตะผะฝะพะณะพ ัั‚ั€ะฐะฝะฝะพ ะธ ั ะดัƒะผะฐัŽ, ั‡ั‚ะพ ะฒั‹ั‚ะฐั‰ะธะป ะพัะปะธะฝั‹ะต ัƒัˆะธ.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/andersonfmly
๐Ÿ“…︎ Sep 23 2020
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