What's the difference between in-laws and out-laws?

Out-laws are wanted, in-laws aren't

Merry Christmas and Happy holidays

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📅︎ Dec 25 2021
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What is a pirate's least favourite letter?

Dear Sir/ Madam,

It has come to our attention that this IP address has been used for illegally downloading content.

Therefore, your account will be blocked, pending further investigation.

Sincerely, The Internet Provider.

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👤︎ u/ExtraSure
📅︎ Oct 14 2021
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What do Zombies think when they see someone with a red hat and no mask?

That's a no brainer

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📅︎ Oct 01 2021
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What do you call a typo on a headstone?

A grave mistake.

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📅︎ Dec 05 2020
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Going Viral
👍︎ 3k
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👤︎ u/maisy1st
📅︎ Mar 05 2020
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If you really think about it condoms are just sonblock.
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📅︎ Oct 21 2019
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9 months from now babies will be born.

They will be conceived through Irma-culate conception.

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👤︎ u/Oacma
📅︎ Sep 08 2017
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The salesman at the store tried to get me to buy protection for my phone

I thought they made a pretty good case...

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👤︎ u/benretan
📅︎ Dec 16 2015
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Son got me!

Went shooting at an outdoor range. With my 11 year old boy. After putting 1000 rounds down range, we headed home. While driving home after like 10 mins...

Me, "my ears are messed up, the radio and the tires sound funny".

Son, (holding up three finger) says,"how many fingers am I holding up?"

Me, "What, I said my ears are messed up not my eyes!"

Son, (still holding up his fingers yells at the top of his lungs) "HOW MANY FINGERS AM I HOLDING UP?"

Im still laughing!

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📅︎ Jul 03 2016
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