Count Dracula Puns

Count Dracula, from the basement:"1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6..."

... He always avoid the stakeholders.

Discount Dracula! (A joke submitted by one of my 3rd graders using his spelling word: discount. I have to believe since this was the only one of 10 that made actual sense, there was a dad behind this one! ;)

The casketeria

Unless you Count Dracula.

Count Draculas.

Well, unless you Count Dracula

Only if you count Dracula

1. Why was the fraction apprehensive about marrying the decimal? Because he would have to convert.

2. Why do plants hate math? It gives them square roots.

3. Why did the student get upset when his teacher called him average? It was a mean thing to say!

4. Why was the math book depressed? It had a lot of problems.

5. Why is the obtuse triangle always so frustrated? Because it is never right.

6. Why can you never trust a math teacher holding graphing paper? He must be plotting something.

7. Why was the equal sign so humble? Because she knew she wasn’t greater than or less than anyone else.

8. What do you call the number 7 and the number 3 when they go out on a date? The odd couple

9. What do you call a number that can’t stay in one place? A Roamin’ numeral.

10. Did you hear the one about the statistician? Probably.

11. What do you call dudes who love math? Algebros.

12. I’ll do algebra, I’ll do trig. I’ll even do statistics. But graphing is where I draw the line!

13. Why should you never talk to Pi? Because she’ll go on and on and on forever.

14. Why are parallel lines so tragic if they have so much in common? It’s a shame they’ll never meet.

15. Are monsters good at math? Not unless you Count Dracula.

16. What’s the best way to flirt with a math teacher? Use acute angle.

17. Did you hear about the mathematician who is afraid of negative numbers? They’d stop at nothing to avoid them.

18. How do you stay warm in any room? Just huddle in the corner, where it’s always 90 degrees.

19. Why is six afraid of seven? Because seven eight ("ate") nine!

20. Why DID seven eat nine? Because you’re supposed to eat 3 squared meals a day!

21. Why does nobody talk to circles? Because there is no point.

But I forgot to Count Dracula.

I was doing inventory and I knocked a bunch of little cups and lids I was counting all over the floor. And I felt like Dracula. Because, you see, I was surrounded by victims of...the count!

One.

Unless you Count Dracula

I said, “No, unless you Count Dracula.”

Only if you count Dracula.

Unless you Count Dracula.

Not unless you Count Dracula.

Unless you Count Dracula.

Unless you count Dracula.

Not unless you count Dracula

Unless you Count Dracula.

Only if you Count Dracula.

Only if you Count Dracula.