I nearly puma pants.
Almost made me puma pants!
Conga-lion.
It was Christmas and the whole family was sitting around watching tv. My mother saw that Cougar Town and she put it on. then my father said " I am a little disappointed, i thought we were going to watch something about animals". After he said this, the whole room face palmed and he sat there and laughed.
Me: No, I think they come that way.
The John Cougar Mellencamp
To the John Cougar Mellencamp
Brown Spots on the Wall by Woo Flung Poo
Yellow River by I. P. Nightly
Under The Bleachers by Seymour Bawtz
40 Yards to the Outhouse written by Will E. Mayket, illustrated by Betty Whont
John Cougar's Melon Camp
Mom: Careful running on the trail, there have been cougar sightings.
Step Dad: I'm sure you'll be fine. You can outrun those older women no problem.
My coworkers were talking about the wilderness and how mountain lions and the like have been coming down into more populated areas and down by the lake.
Then another coworker chimed in with, "I heard you can find cougars at the bars"
Girl says to me: I just graduated from school and now I work for a nonprofit called "The Panther Club".
Me: in ten years will it be "The Cougar Club?"
Didn't work.
John Cougar Meloncamp.
In the locker room we were talking about marathon runners, and our goalie says: "Yeah those Kenyan's always win, you'd be fast too if there were lions chasing you." To which I replied: "I've never seen a lion on any marathon course." One of our defensemen, who just fathered twins pipes up: "Yeah, but there are plenty of cougars."
Visiting the grandparents with my parents, we decided to take a long drive out to a place my grandpa hasn't been a long time.
Grandpa: Last time I was out here a cougar ran across the road right in front of me!
Dad: Was it a blonde or brunette?
Mom "What if we get visited by cougars tonight?"
Dad "Don't worry, they'll probably want younger men."
almost made me puma pants
Almost made me puma pants
