Authorities are searching for a four-foot tall woman who recently escaped from prison in upstate New York. She was serving a five year sentence for fraud after convincing a number of victims that she was a powerful psychic.
Now she's a small medium at large.
A cemetery is a terrible setting for a convincing horror story.
I tried convincing my friends I was a small harp.
But they just called me a lyre.
I spent months convincing my wife that I was going to paint our bedroom white..
In the end I just painted it red.
It was all a rouge
My housemates are convinced the house is haunted
I've been living here for 274 years and seen nothing strange.
My dad always said, “ Find a girl with an embarrassing tattoo and try to convince her to marry you.”
“She knows how to make bad decisions and stick by them.”
I tried to convince my wife to try this new Indian restaurant by telling her about the free appetizer.
She told me that was a naan starter.
A con artist tried to convince me he could ejaculate deli meat
I have a friend who is convinced that you can find water on the moon.
Why doesn't james bond fart in bed?
Because it'll blow his cover
I am trying to convince my dad to get a new hearing aid.
But he just won’t listen.
After 6 cardiac arrests the doctor convinced me to go for surgery!
I really needed that change of heart!
A group in Denmark is trying to convince the government to use old Legos to re-pave their highways...
...unfortunately, they've been running into a lot of road blocks.
My friends keep trying to convince me to let a 2,000 elephant sit on me.
It's easy to convince ladies not to eat Tide Pods
But its harder to deter gents
I'm trying to convince my friend that being a fraudster isn't for him. I went over to his house the other day and he was putting canned meat in envelopes.
Apparently he was sending a bunch of Spam Mail.
An actual conversation between my wife and my son yesterday.
My wife has been teaching my son to fold his own laundry but he complains about it everytime. My wife, trying to convince my son, said to him "If you pick up this habit, your future wife will love you very much."
My son replied "I don't want my future wife to love me very much. I want my future wife to help me fold my laundry."
I busted out laughing. But the end result is that now I have to fold my own laundry going forward.
My wife got mad after I tried to convince her that she'd agreed to let me buy a neon sign.
I guess she doesn't like gas lighting.
Did you hear about the mummy that just woke up and is still convinced he’s ruler of Egypt? When told ‘that’s impossible’ he flew into a rage, ran away, and jumped in a river.
People say he’s in da Nile
I am convinced that my friend helped someone steal one of my gloves.
He definitely had a hand in it.
Doctor Doctor, I'm convinced I'm a rubber band.
Why don't you stretch yourself out on the couch over there and tell me all about it.
My wife bought me this hideous leather jacket, and somehow convinced me to wear it.
I guess I’m easily suede.
I was trying to convince everyone on a WW2 subreddit that I was French.
My friend convinced me to visit Karl Marx’s grave.
Turns out it’s just a communist plot.
No matter how many times she tried, Sherlock Holmes' wife could never convince him to grow fond of her pet duck.
He was a master of the duck shun.
I've had a chiropractor phobia extending from a childhood trauma. Wife finally convinced me to get my back checked out and treated. Wife afterwards: See, that wasn't too bad
I’m trying to convince my wife that I want a Segway for my birthday.
But every time I bring it up, she changes the topic.
The guy who mans the fishing rods on my boat tried to convince me to vote for a candidate. I fired him.
Pole workers aren't allowed to do that!
The police were not convinced that my neighbor had hidden plastic explosives in his basement, so I told them...
I tried to convince one of my co workers to buy the first round of drinks after our shift...
He said no, but it was worth a shot.
I once convinced my younger brother to swallow a small flashlight
I got in so much trouble but it was worth it to see his little face light up.
My wife was just trying to convince me to spend $1k on a new king size bed...
...I told her I’d have to sleep on it.
I'll never forget when my dad told me, "Find yourself a girl with an embarrassing tattoo and try to convince her to marry you!” A little taken aback, I asked him what he meant. He explained...
“She knows how to make bad decisions and stick by them!"
I'm fully convinced that Stalin's grave...
...is just a Communist plot.
My friend is trying to convince me to invest in his sword making business.
He makes some really good points.
I'm convinced that nobody can really eat with chopsticks...
You need a mouth for that.
My son tried to convince me that Jim Morrison was just an overrated drunk, so I angrily sent him to his room...
Nobody slams the Doors in my house!!
I've finally convinced my energy suppliers that they're crazy...
Where do French criminals take baths?
how do you convince meat juice out of a bovine?
I am trying to convince my dad to get a new hearing aid.
But he just won’t listen.
My dad always said, “ Find a girl with an embarrassing tattoo and try to convince her to marry you.”
“She knows how to make bad decisions and stick by them.”
My dad always told me, “Find a girl with an embarrassing tattoo and try to convince her to marry you.”
She knows how to make a bad decision and still stick with it.
My friend is trying to convince me to invest in his sword making business.
He makes some very good points.
My friend tried to convince me to invest in his sword making business.
He made some excellent points.
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