A list of puns related to "Convincing Clooney"
Lama, la mal Amal: "am a llama"
I know Obamaβs birthday party was a few months ago but I still consider this the biggest slap on H&Mβs face so far into their βpost-royalβ American life. I read an article I found on google about who were in the guest list and it even included Chrissy Teigen- a celebrity who was exposed to be an online bully and cancelled by major sponsors made the cut! Yet a couple closely related to HMTQ, the head of state of the closest ally of the USA, did not. This goes to show how toxic H&Mβs brand has become.
This snub is a failure on so many levels. First, the Obamas are one of the most successful content creators in the world. They have made millions post-political life from media collaborations delivered across multiple platforms like podcasts, etc, the very channels that H&M are trying to break into. Wouldnβt a relationship with the Obamas be such an invaluable source of wisdom and clout for H&M at this stage in their careers? Yet it seems they havenβt even managed a type of relationship where theyβd be comfortable making a phone call or a casual meeting or two.
Second, Obamas are close to the likes of Oprah, the Clooneysβ¦celebrities who were at one point linked to H&M either by friendship or professional dealings. They made the guest list and H&M did not. Even links to these people were not enough to win them favours, which again points to the H&M brand being one to be actively avoided not casually considered. We have not heard from any of them post-Oprah interview vocally support them either. I remember when MM was still engaged to H, George Clooney likened the paparazzi situation to what Princess Di endured and warning of similar tragic consequences. Yet after a tell-all interview outlining grievances that were meant to cause outrage, all we hear from these people is deafening silence.
Third, the Obamas are big fans of HMTQ. Yet they did not invite her grandson who has moved to the USA and clearly in need of support. Supporting and loving the Queen does not equal to respecting and liking Harry. H has fallen so out of favour that if you value your relationship to the Queen, you must stay away from Harry. This will obviously carry over to dealing with Charles and William who are representatives of the Queen. Not only has Harry exited royal life, he has become a parody of it as they carry on using their royal titles.
The RF has announced that they have their sights firmly on the US next year as they plan a tour or two. I will b
... keep reading on reddit β‘Pretty interesting read, take this all with a grain of salt obviously
Thread here: https://www.abovetopsecret.com/forum/thread1297353/pg1
Will start with the abductee account and then post the questions people asked and the OP's responses below. I included the questions and answers regarding the abduction and UFOs I left out some Covid/vaccine questions because they are not relevant to the abduction, a lot of angry people in that thread lol. Can read the entire thread if you'd like!
"Hi, I just joined today after reading for quite some time. I think I see what the zeitgeist is here, or "sitegeist", and yes I'm copyrighting that lol.
So what I'm going to do is dive in to the deep end of the pool and skip past the whole intro about how I'm an abductee and get right to an event that was very strange for me.
I was in my late teens, and the aliens had been taking me all my life. It was towards the end of an abduction, when they were done doing whatever the hell they do when they put you deep under. I was up and ambulatory like always when they walk you back, but we stopped in an unfamiliar room. An alien "said" to me, and I will relay this conversation as accurately as I can, "Hey, we want to ask if you would do us a favor before we go back, it will just take a minute."
And I said "Sure, whatever you want, not a problem." I said that because they manipulate your mind into thinking they are your best friends.
They said, "Well, we've got someone who really wants to meet you, and it would mean a great deal to us if you would say hi to him."
"Yeah, of course, glad to help. Who is it?"
The alien/s said, "He's one that came from you. And let me tell you, he's really great, he's fun, he's smart and has a great attitude, and he's always been asking if he could meet his human/Earth dad, and he won't let up. He's really, really insistent so we eventually promised him we'd ask you. He's special, we all like him, so we want to reward him by meeting you. But just for a minute, though. Okay?"
"Sure!" I said, not being allowed at the time to think clearly or react emotionally to what in retrospect was profoundly significant.
"Okay, great" said the alien/s. "But listen, he's going to look strange to you, he's not like you, he's part us too, so be ready for that, and when you see him whatever you do - do not think he looks ugly. Force yourself to
... keep reading on reddit β‘I don't want to step on anybody's toes here, but the amount of non-dad jokes here in this subreddit really annoys me. First of all, dad jokes CAN be NSFW, it clearly says so in the sub rules. Secondly, it doesn't automatically make it a dad joke if it's from a conversation between you and your child. Most importantly, the jokes that your CHILDREN tell YOU are not dad jokes. The point of a dad joke is that it's so cheesy only a dad who's trying to be funny would make such a joke. That's it. They are stupid plays on words, lame puns and so on. There has to be a clever pun or wordplay for it to be considered a dad joke.
Again, to all the fellow dads, I apologise if I'm sounding too harsh. But I just needed to get it off my chest.
Hi there,
I've been lurking on this page for a while now, and I just really needed support. I've been dealing with the single woman blues and am struggling with self-esteem issues.
I'm 28 years old and single, but, am far from "strong and independent". Aside from a job (I'm working on my career still and hoping to get a job in my field in 4-5 months. To give you specifics, I went to medical school and am trying to get into a residency program this year - a training program for doctors in a hospital).
The truth is, as much as I try to deny the desire, I really do want to be in a relationship. I can't help it. I have been single my entire life. I've never known what it's like to have been on the other side. I've never been asked out on a date either. There have always been guys I've liked, but, at best I was teased and at worst I was severely bullied by guys I've liked. These experiences have really taken a toll on my self esteem. I always struggled with the idea of being "chosen." "why did he choose her and not me?" "I wish I had been with a guy for X years regardless of how the relationship ended because he still chose to be with me in the first place regardless of how the relationship ended." "I hate how my friends complain about being in toxic/unhealthy relationships because they were still chosen by a man."
I feel like most women really don't understand how I feel because they have been in relationships before. Most women do not understand at all what it's like to not be wanted. Even if you were in a relationship, you were still chosen in the first place. It's gotten better, but it used to make me feel terribly sad and angry even.
I understand these are terrible thoughts and this is the kind of thinking that I'm so afraid of that could lead me into an abusive relationship. And I'd like to get into why I want to really reframe my thought process.
The most recent experience (which has lead to this epiphany) I've had was with the son of family friends (they are family friends of my dad's older brother and wife) - so we have known them for many years, not well though.
He's (he works in the intersection of tech/IT and finance) the son of close friends of my aunt and uncle (my dad's older brother and wife). So we've known the family for a long time. I had always wanted to meet him. His mom had always really liked me too.
So this guy was going to come over to my house and meet me. He's 31 years old and his family wanted us to be introduced to each othe
... keep reading on reddit β‘A smuggy day in San Francisco town...
Smug Alert, the second episode of Season 10 is one of the silliest, hilarious pieces of TV I've ever seen (and also predicative of how most Left-wingers act nowadays). Basically, after Stan Marsh convinces everybody to drive Hybrid cars, he learns that his act has caused all the smug to mutate into a deadly storm. Cue parodies of San Francisco inhabitants, George Clooney's speech at the Oscars being a deadly force of nature, and Eric Cartman in a Hazmat suit.
I particularly like Kyle's subplot, where his father becomes so smug, that he decides to move the Broflovski family to San Francisco, represented as a town that mainly eats wine and cheese and whose populace smells their own farts. This leads to ERIC CARTMAN of all people going on a rescue mission to save him so he can treat as his punching bag again, leading to the aforementioned 'Hazmat Suit' gag. You'd never believe that Trey and Matt were relatively left-leaning by watching this, and yet somehow they ARE and they're the same guys who made episodes like this one. To wrap up, there's nothing I can add other than:
Kyle! KYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
EDIT: Oh, I forgot. Happy 2022, everyone. I celebrated with 3 glasses of Champagne. Does that make me a smuggy motherfucker?
Do your worst!
I'm surprised it hasn't decade.
For context I'm a Refuse Driver (Garbage man) & today I was on food waste. After I'd tipped I was checking the wagon for any defects when I spotted a lone pea balanced on the lifts.
I said "hey look, an escaPEA"
No one near me but it didn't half make me laugh for a good hour or so!
Edit: I can't believe how much this has blown up. Thank you everyone I've had a blast reading through the replies π
Because she wanted to see the task manager.
BamBOO!
Theyβre on standbi
Pilot on me!!
Nothing, he was gladiator.
Christopher Walken
Dad jokes are supposed to be jokes you can tell a kid and they will understand it and find it funny.
This sub is mostly just NSFW puns now.
If it needs a NSFW tag it's not a dad joke. There should just be a NSFW puns subreddit for that.
Edit* I'm not replying any longer and turning off notifications but to all those that say "no one cares", there sure are a lot of you arguing about it. Maybe I'm wrong but you people don't need to be rude about it. If you really don't care, don't comment.
I thought you all might find this interesting and see some parallels - the context is the 2008 election in California and a proposition on the ballot for the voters to vote on - Prop 8 - which hate-filled intolerant conservative religionists (mostly Catholics and Mormons) had promoted and funded to strip marriage rights from same-sex couples:
#The Apostate: Paul Haggis vs. the Church of Scientology.
>On August 19, 2009, Tommy Davis, the chief spokesperson for the Church of Scientology International, received a letter from the film director and screenwriter Paul Haggis. βFor ten months now I have been writing to ask you to make a public statement denouncing the actions of the Church of Scientology of San Diego,β Haggis wrote. Before the 2008 elections, a staff member at Scientologyβs San Diego church had signed its name to an online petition supporting Proposition 8, which asserted that the State of California should sanction marriage only βbetween a man and a woman.β The proposition passed. As Haggis saw it, the San Diego churchβs βpublic sponsorship of Proposition 8, which succeeded in taking away the civil rights of gay and lesbian citizens of Californiaβrights that were granted them by the Supreme Court of our stateβis a stain on the integrity of our organization and a stain on us personally. Our public association with that hate-filled legislation shames us.β Haggis wrote, βSilence is consent, Tommy. I refuse to consent.β He concluded, βI hereby resign my membership in the Church of Scientology.β Source
SOME people have integrity. OTHERS are so OWNED by these nasty cults that they allow themselves to be pressured into "traditional" marriages with people they would not otherwise have chosen for themselves, just to [keep up appearances](https://www.reddit.com/r/sgiwhistleblowers/comments/9u44mu/on_sgis_lame_attempt
... keep reading on reddit β‘I won't be doing that today!
[Removed]
Where ever you left it π€·ββοΈπ€
Hi ladies,
I've been lurking on this page for a while now, and I just really needed support. I've been dealing with the single woman blues and really do have self-esteem issues.
One of my favorite anime characters said, "Don't you know? Women need to be strong in order to survive!"
I'm 28 years old and single, but, am far from "strong and independent". Aside from a job (I'm working on my career still and hoping to get a job in my field in 4-5 months. To give you specifics, I went to medical school and am trying to get into a residency program this year - a training program for doctors in a hospital).
The truth is, as much as I try to deny the desire, I really do want to be in a relationship. I can't help it. I have been single my entire life. I've never known what it's like to have been on the other side. I've never been asked out on a date either. There have always been guys I've liked, but, at best I was teased and at worst I was severely bullied by guys I've liked. These experiences have really taken a toll on my self esteem. I always struggled with the idea of being "chosen." "why did he choose her and not me?" "I wish I had been with a guy for X years regardless of how the relationship ended because he still chose to be with me." "I hate how my friends complain about being in toxic/unhealthy relationships because they were still chosen by a man."
I understand these are terrible thoughts and this is the kind of thinking that I'm so afraid of that could lead me into an abusive relationship. And I'd like to get into why I want to really reframe my thought process.
The most recent experience (which has lead to this epiphany) I've had was with the son of family friends (they are family friends of my dad's older brother and wife) - so we have known them for many years, not well though.
He's (he works in the intersection of tech/IT and finance) the son of close friends of my aunt and uncle (my dad's older brother and wife). So we've known the family for a long time. I had always wanted to meet him. His mom had always really liked me too.
So this guy was going to come over to my house and meet me. He's 31 years old and his family wanted us to be introduced to each other. I actually couldn't believe it. So the day came and he actually showed up to my house and had lunch with my family. We had time on our own to talk. We really enjoyed ourselves. He couldn't stop smiling, even significantly deepened his voice as he spoke to me (compared to the way he wa
... keep reading on reddit β‘Hi ladies,
I've been lurking on this page for a while now, and I just really needed support. I've been dealing with the single woman blues and am struggling with self-esteem issues.
One of my favorite anime characters said, "Don't you know? Women need to be strong in order to survive!"
I'm 28 years old and single, but, am far from "strong and independent". Aside from a job (I'm working on my career still and hoping to get a job in my field in 4-5 months. To give you specifics, I went to medical school and am trying to get into a residency program this year - a training program for doctors in a hospital).
The truth is, as much as I try to deny the desire, I really do want to be in a relationship. I can't help it. I have been single my entire life. I've never known what it's like to have been on the other side. I've never been asked out on a date either. There have always been guys I've liked, but, at best I was teased and at worst I was severely bullied by guys I've liked. These experiences have really taken a toll on my self esteem. I always struggled with the idea of being "chosen." "why did he choose her and not me?" "I wish I had been with a guy for X years regardless of how the relationship ended because he still chose to be with me in the first place regardless of how the relationship ended." "I hate how my friends complain about being in toxic/unhealthy relationships because they were still chosen by a man."
I feel like most women really don't understand how I feel because they have been in relationships before. Most women do not understand at all what it's like to not be wanted. Even if you were in a relationship, you were still chosen in the first place. It's gotten better, but it used to make me feel terribly sad and angry even.
I understand these are terrible thoughts and this is the kind of thinking that I'm so afraid of that could lead me into an abusive relationship. And I'd like to get into why I want to really reframe my thought process.
The most recent experience (which has lead to this epiphany) I've had was with the son of family friends (they are family friends of my dad's older brother and wife) - so we have known them for many years, not well though.
He's (he works in the intersection of tech/IT and finance) the son of close friends of my aunt and uncle (my dad's older brother and wife). So we've known the family for a long time. I had always wanted to meet him. His mom had always really liked me too.
So this guy was going to
... keep reading on reddit β‘And also...how can I stop putting romance and relationships on a pedestal?
I've been lurking on this page for a while now, and I just really needed support. I've been dealing with the single woman blues and am struggling with self-esteem issues.
I'm 28 years old and single, but, am far from "strong and independent". Aside from a job (I'm working on my career still and hoping to get a job in my field in 4-5 months. To give you specifics, I went to medical school and am trying to get into a residency program this year - a training program for doctors in a hospital). Unfortunately I just found out that I failed one of my career-determining board exams this morning. So I have to study and retake it again which is very frustrating. My career path has been long. I have failed many exams in medical school. I've had to repeat a year in between and fly back over the summers and retake my exams. It was not the journey I envisioned for myself.
The truth is, as much as I try to deny the desire, I really do want to be in a relationship. I can't help it. I have been single my entire life. I've never known what it's like to have been on the other side. I've never been asked out on a date either. There have always been guys I've liked, but, at best I was teased and at worst I was severely bullied by guys I've liked. These experiences have really taken a toll on my self esteem. I always struggled with the idea of being "chosen." "why did he choose her and not me?" "I wish I had been with a guy for X years regardless of how the relationship ended because he still chose to be with me in the first place regardless of how the relationship ended." "I hate how my friends complain about being in toxic/unhealthy relationships because they were still chosen by a man."
I feel like most women really don't understand how I feel because they have been in relationships before. Most women do not understand at all what it's like to not be wanted. Even if you were in a relationship, you were still chosen in the first place. It's gotten better, but it used to make me feel terribly sad and angry even.
I understand these are terrible thoughts and this is the kind of thinking that I'm so afraid of that could lead me into an abusive relationship. And I'd like to get into why I want to really reframe my thought process.
The most recent experience (which has lead to this epiphany) I've had was with the son of family friends (they are family friends of my dad's older brother and wife) - so w
... keep reading on reddit β‘It really does, I swear!
Heard they've been doing some shady business.
Hi there,
I've been lurking on this page for a while now, and I just really needed support. I've been dealing with the single woman blues and am struggling with self-esteem issues.
I'm 28 years old and single, but, am far from "strong and independent". Aside from a job (I'm working on my career still and hoping to get a job in my field in 4-5 months. To give you specifics, I went to medical school and am trying to get into a residency program this year - a training program for doctors in a hospital).
The truth is, as much as I try to deny the desire, I really do want to be in a relationship. I can't help it. I have been single my entire life. I've never known what it's like to have been on the other side. I've never been asked out on a date either. There have always been guys I've liked, but, at best I was teased and at worst I was severely bullied by guys I've liked. These experiences have really taken a toll on my self esteem. I always struggled with the idea of being "chosen." "why did he choose her and not me?" "I wish I had been with a guy for X years regardless of how the relationship ended because he still chose to be with me in the first place regardless of how the relationship ended." "I hate how my friends complain about being in toxic/unhealthy relationships because they were still chosen by a man."
I feel like most women really don't understand how I feel because they have been in relationships before. Most women do not understand at all what it's like to not be wanted. Even if you were in a relationship, you were still chosen in the first place. It's gotten better, but it used to make me feel terribly sad and angry even.
I understand these are terrible thoughts and this is the kind of thinking that I'm so afraid of that could lead me into an abusive relationship. And I'd like to get into why I want to really reframe my thought process.
The most recent experience (which has lead to this epiphany) I've had was with the son of family friends (they are family friends of my dad's older brother and wife) - so we have known them for many years, not well though.
He's (he works in the intersection of tech/IT and finance) the son of close friends of my aunt and uncle (my dad's older brother and wife). So we've known the family for a long time. I had always wanted to meet him. His mom had always really liked me too.
So this guy was going to come over to my house and meet me. He's 31 years old and his family wanted us to be introduced to each othe
... keep reading on reddit β‘What did 0 say to 8 ?
" Nice Belt "
So What did 3 say to 8 ?
" Hey, you two stop making out "
When I got home, they were still there.
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