The Content You are here for πŸ€·πŸ»β€β™‚οΈ reddit.com/gallery/mum5al
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πŸ‘€︎ u/blacknight68
πŸ“…︎ Apr 20 2021
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What Do You Call a Russian with Low Blood/Oxygen Content?

Hammer and Sickle Cell Anemic!

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πŸ“…︎ Apr 18 2021
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Instead of a swear jar I have a negativity jar. Everytime I have a pessimistic thought I put a dollar in it.

It's half empty.

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πŸ“…︎ Mar 03 2021
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Today's Headlines
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πŸ‘€︎ u/potato_patataa
πŸ“…︎ Apr 23 2021
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[META] Could we get some moderation in this sub?

In my eyes, this sub has a serious problem with non-dadjoke posts. Sub-reddit rule #1 is "Jokes must be dad jokes.". What good are the rules if they aren't enforced? I do realize that what constitutes a dadjoke might not be clarely defined, but we get a lot of posts that are marked nsfw. That's a "This is not a dadjoke"-flag. Why not start with removing nsfw posts?

PS: Why do we have rule #6? It is not possible for a dadjoke to be nsfw, so it should never be relevant.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Buddhainhair
πŸ“…︎ Mar 29 2021
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'Tis the season for original content :^)
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πŸ‘€︎ u/BlipBleepBloop00
πŸ“…︎ Dec 26 2020
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Laced shoes.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/D0NW0N
πŸ“…︎ Mar 08 2021
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This post may contain centsible content...
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πŸ‘€︎ u/simmson420
πŸ“…︎ Aug 28 2020
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If Mark has been accused of plagiarizing my content; Mark!? My words.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/HowToFailAndWhy
πŸ“…︎ Dec 05 2020
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I told my daughter, "Go to bed, the cows are sleeping in the field." She said, "What's that got to do with anything?"

I said "That means it's pasture bedtime."

πŸ‘︎ 23k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ArchipelagoMind
πŸ“…︎ Nov 15 2020
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This is not oc content it MAY be a re p o st
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πŸ“…︎ Jun 20 2020
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Will glass coffins ever become popular?

Remains to be seen

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Deadly_R
πŸ“…︎ Dec 29 2020
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Downloaded film Titanic for the family to watch this evening. Annoyingly Video and Sound has come across in separate files.

It's syncing right now.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/iseb3881
πŸ“…︎ Jan 29 2021
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"Where the heck have you been for the last 2 hours?"

"I went to have my hair cut."

"But ! You're on company time."

"Well, my hair grows on company time."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Mar 03 2021
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Some 18+ content

19

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πŸ‘€︎ u/DontTouchMyCouch
πŸ“…︎ Aug 27 2020
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uplifting content with lame goat pun lol
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πŸ‘€︎ u/memoryisnotRAM
πŸ“…︎ May 24 2020
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What so you call Santa without a GPS?

A lost Claus.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/DrinkUpLetsBooBoo
πŸ“…︎ Nov 21 2020
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I watched Bohemian Rhapsody three times in a row, and now I feel a little sick.

It must be the high Mercury content.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Nov 24 2020
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What do you call a group of baby soldiers?

An infantry

Side note: I will be a first time father at the end of March. I am proud to join the dad joke ranks, my wife and son will learn to appreciate the content from this subreddit 😬

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πŸ‘€︎ u/The-Thong-Song
πŸ“…︎ Dec 31 2020
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How much of Reddit content is made up of recurring themes?

69%

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πŸ‘€︎ u/IMightNotBeKevin
πŸ“…︎ Feb 11 2020
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I tried to break an egg to make an omelette, but it's contents went flying everywhere

Ugh. Yolk.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/honest2dog
πŸ“…︎ Apr 17 2020
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I went to the garden center today and bought a Christmas Tree.

The assistant asked me, β€œWill you be putting that up yourself?” I replied, β€œNo, I’ll be putting it up in my living room.”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/forstuvetankel
πŸ“…︎ Sep 25 2020
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What do you call an instagram celeb who got Corona?

An influenzer.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/NAtionalniHIlist
πŸ“…︎ Mar 02 2020
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I misplaced my pizza cutter so I had to use my Bryan Adams cd.

It cuts like a knife.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/CobaltD70
πŸ“…︎ Oct 09 2020
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Can i see the gluten content?
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Lil_Pask
πŸ“…︎ Apr 02 2019
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Even Ferdinand Feghoot could be outpunned on occasion – but he always rose to the challenge.

There was, for instance, the time he conducted a crew of new S.A.R.H. (Society for the Aesthetic Rearrangement of History -BJ) recruits – all from late twentieth-century Terra – on a training study of Carter’s World, a newly established agricultural colony attempting to support itself by the export of edible nuts. Barely into their second generation, and having yet to show a profit, the colonists were technologically backward. Nevertheless, they showed a surprising ingenuity in the use of their few advantages. It was this resourcefulness that Feghoot was demonstrating to his rookies.

β€œLook at the perfection with which these streets are graded”, exclaimed one student. β€œEarth-moving machinery on this scale is strictly high technology stuff. How can they do it?”

β€œA new alleyway is being constructed, nearby”, said Feghoot. β€œLet us walk that way while I explain.” As they strolled, he told his students that countless centuries before, the Carter’s World system had been inhabited by a now-vanished race of giants. This very planet had served them for a nursery, and among the many artifacts they had left were thousands of childrens blocks, immense and precision-cut. You simply jack one up onto logs, bring it where you want it, put collapsible jacks underneath, snake out the logs, spread soil more or less evenly beneath, and collapse the jacks.

β€œI see”, said the student. β€œIt’s not graded road at all; its a simple hammered-earth base.”

β€œThat’s right,” Feghoot went on smoothly. β€œYou just hit the road jack and don’t come back no mo.”

His students registered dismay and anguish.

β€œIsn’t that right, old-timer?,” Feghoot demanded of an ancient Carterian standing by the mouth of the newly completed alley they had just reached.

β€œAhm afraid not, suh”, said the senior citizen, and the students giggled at Feghoots discomfiture. β€œOh, we used to do it that way, but it was far too much trouble. It’s the soil heah. You see, the very same soil which produced our famous cashews is so high in clay content that a child could roll out a road of it. Then, we simply use a system of lenses to bake it into hardness. Ahve just completed this alley mahself, and ahm just a retired professor of Sports History, much too old and feeble to handle hydraulic jacks.

β€œSo you see,” he finished, eyes twinkling, β€œMah hammered alley is really cashews clay.”

Howls of agony rose from the students, but Feghoot never hesitated. β€œAnd he”, he said, turning to his students, β€œis clearly the gradi

... keep reading on reddit ➑

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πŸ‘€︎ u/nomnommish
πŸ“…︎ Jan 13 2021
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Content Advisory
πŸ‘︎ 2k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/yourSAS
πŸ“…︎ Mar 20 2018
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Having a blast!
πŸ‘︎ 6k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/hootanahalf
πŸ“…︎ Jan 10 2020
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A truck loaded with thesauruses crashed, spilling its contents over a large area...

Onlookers were shocked, astounded, agape, flabbergasted and taken aback.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/andersonfmly
πŸ“…︎ Apr 25 2020
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Did you hear? Since COVID-19 has everyone is stuck at home, and sports networks need content, they've decided to televise competitive bathroom sports.

It'll be on the channel E. S. Peein.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Howardyoudoing95
πŸ“…︎ Apr 05 2020
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This sub doesn't have enough content

https://www.signaturebreads.com/assets/images/breads/thumbs/24025.png

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πŸ“…︎ Mar 14 2020
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My dad came out as trans so we accepted him as a man, my mom came out as trans so we accepted her as a woman.

It was honestly a surprise but at least they were both Trans-Parent about it.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Elemental55555
πŸ“…︎ Sep 29 2020
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What happens to frogs that park illegally?

They get toad.

Edit: this content is unoriginal

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πŸ‘€︎ u/MrFitBit
πŸ“…︎ Dec 05 2020
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A Ramen Noodle truck overturned on the freeway today, spilling all its contents out onto the road...

Damages are estimated at $4.81 !

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Talon184
πŸ“…︎ Nov 21 2019
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Archaeologists found traces of Trinitrotoluene in a T-Rex skeleton. Scientists have since determined that T-Rex's muscles used the compound to function.

TNT. It's dino might.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/veive
πŸ“…︎ Sep 14 2020
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[OC] Guess the Visual Pun
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πŸ‘€︎ u/PunPics
πŸ“…︎ May 25 2020
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Need content

I found out today I'm going to be a dad, I need some good jokes!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/getsomeapples
πŸ“…︎ Jul 25 2019
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They told me I wouldn't be any good at poetry because I was dyslexic

But so far I've made 3 jugs and a vase and they're lovely

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πŸ‘€︎ u/HellsJuggernaut
πŸ“…︎ Apr 17 2020
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A man goes into surgery to get his Appendix removed.

Unfortunately, the doctor cut a little too deep and the man's organs began to spill out onto the operating table....

...

...

"Well, it looks you have a table of contents now" says the medical assistant.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/icemage27
πŸ“…︎ Sep 28 2020
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******The Hunchshaq of Notre Dame***** (Frame from the YouTube video β€œshaq eats a hot wing content aware scale”)
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DeclanKav18
πŸ“…︎ Jul 20 2019
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Fire content right there
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Lamecreature118
πŸ“…︎ Feb 08 2019
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An armed robber bursts into a store one day.

Pointing his firearm at two cashiers, he shouts β€œhand over the contents of the cash register! I need it to set myself up in a trade or profession...you know, a habitual occupation followed for a livelihood and involving commercial transactions!”

Cashier 1: β€œWhat do we do?”

Cashier 2: β€œDo what he says, I think he means business!”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Titsonafish
πŸ“…︎ Oct 16 2020
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Shake well before consuming

Contents may have settled, started a family, and proliferated in the container.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Camo5
πŸ“…︎ Nov 16 2020
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Doube dip content and title
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πŸ‘€︎ u/FR3381RD
πŸ“…︎ Oct 25 2018
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I watched Bohemian Rhapsody three times in a row, and now I feel a little sick.

Must be the high Mercury content.

πŸ‘︎ 10k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Mar 01 2020
🚨︎ report
I listened to Queen albums for 12 hours in a row, and now I feel a little sick.

It must be the high Mercury content.

πŸ‘︎ 9k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Dec 01 2019
🚨︎ report

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