"The big bad wolf!" a goat shouted. "Is meditating!"
"So? Isn't that a good thing? questioned the bear.
"Noooo!" the goat bleated. "It's become aware wolf!"
Kids meals only $150.
you will be mist
So I'm givin it all for nothing
If you are wondering how I know this, it's because olive random trivia
Now if only I could figure out who the parents are...
Not screaming and yelling like everyone else in the car was when he drove over the cliff
This was an act of wonton destruction.
I can't stand sitting.
Me: Well, itβs ......a long story.
Larry replies, βGod and I are tight. He knows I have poor eyesight, so Heβs fixed it so when I get up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom, poof! The light goes on. When Iβm done, poof! The light goes off.β
βWow, thatβs incredible,β the doctor says.
A little later in the day, the doctor calls Larryβs wife.
βBonnie,β he says, βLarry is doing fine! But I had to call you because Iβm in awe of his relationship with God. Is it true that he gets up during the night, and poof, the light goes on in the bathroom, and when heβs done, poof, the light goes off?β
βOh sweet Jesusβ, exclaims Bonnie. βHeβs peeing in the refrigerator again!β
So I took the battery out of the smoke detector.
I Am Grout
Shorts
Any time a restaurant server asks me "how did you find your meal?", I reply, "I looked on the table and there it was."
My Wife hates me.
But it was a false Salaam.
Rust in peace.
...unlike the rest of the people in the car who probably died screaming, βIrene! Irene! Wake up! Wake Up!!
... he was zen-ophobic!
They like to beat the crowds.
It can't help itself- its dipolar.
Can't a guy just raise a family in peace?
There was once a boy. He was the son of the richest man in the universe. Mark Zuckerberg, Bill Gates, he dwarfed them all. He was a multi-trillionaire. Now, it was this boy's birthday. His father asked him,
"My son. I am the richest man in the universe. I could buy you anything you want for your birthday. A store full of lego, all the video games in the world, anything. What would you like?"
His son replied.
"Oh father. It would make me the happiest boy in the world if you could get me one pink ping pong ball."
His father was rather confused by this request. Out of all the things he could've chosen, his son chose a ping pong ball. Nonetheless, he agreed and gave him a pink ping pong ball. His son was overjoyed and spoke to him.
"My father, you have made me the happiest boy in the world. May I go up to my room and play with my pink ping pong ball?"
"Okay son, go ahead."
The boy then went up to his room and played with his pink ping pong ball. When his father went in the next morning to check on him, the boy was sleeping in his bed and the pink ping pong ball was nowhere to be found.
On the boy's next birthday, his father asked him again.
"My son. I am the richest man in the universe. I could buy you anything you want for your birthday. What would you like?"
His son replied.
"Oh father. It would make me the happiest boy in the world if you could get me one box full of pink ping pong balls."
His father was again, confused by this. Still, he bought a cardboard box and filled it with ping pong balls. He gave it to his son, who said.
"My father, you have made me the happiest boy in the world. May I go up to my room and play with my pink ping pong balls?"
The father nodded, and the son went up to his room to play. The next morning when his father went to check, the boy was sleeping peacefully and there were no pink ping pong balls in sight. Just the empty cardboard box in the middle of the room.
On the boy's next birthday, his father asked him again.
"My son. I am the richest man in the universe. I could buy you anything you want for your birthday. What would you like?"
"Oh father. It would make me the happiest boy in the world if you could get me one truck full of ping pong balls."
Now, by this point, the father was extremely confused. Why did the boy want so many pink ping pong balls and where were they going? He asked.
"My son. You are the most precious thing in the world to me and I can certainly get you this, but may I ask, why do you want
... keep reading on reddit β‘
Restaurant in peace..
"Stop eating caterpillars!"
I said yes. The others were all nines and tens.
For his dedication to world hominy
I can see why he won the No peace Bell Prize
It was a peace βtreeβty.
I'm calling it The No-Bell Peace Prize.
Idc if you steal this I just thought of it while making lunch and I got another one of them.
You will be mist
Not like the people screaming in his car
Not screaming in terror like the passengers in his car.
Not kicking and screaming like the passengers in his car.
So I took the batteries out of the smoke alarm
So I took the batteries out of the smoke alarm.
You will be mist.
Not screaming in terror like the passengers in his car.
Because of his dedication to world hominy.
So i took the batteries out of the smoke alarm
"The big bad wolf!" a goat shouted. "Is meditating!"
"So? Isn't that a good thing? questioned the bear.
"Noooo!" the goat bleated. "It's become aware wolf!"
