Why did the pacifist refuse to join the orchestra?

He hated violins.

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👤︎ u/EEZAK04
📅︎ Apr 30 2021
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Why do pacifists hate music?

They're against violins (violence)

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📅︎ May 26 2020
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In addition to being a pacifist, Gandhi was a baker.

Because of this, he made a lot of Naan-violence.

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📅︎ Feb 19 2020
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A dyslexic pacifist balks into a war ...

The bartenders says “I know I can’t make you take a shot”.

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📅︎ Sep 30 2019
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My fiancee did not appreciate this. Our ten year old did. "What do you call an anaconda that's also a pacifist?"

A cantaconda

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👤︎ u/l1_styx_1l
📅︎ Sep 07 2019
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Most vegans are pacifists.

They don't want any beef.

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📅︎ May 02 2019
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What’s a fist that doesn’t hurt

A Pacifist

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📅︎ Jan 02 2021
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Road Rage

I´m not really sure if this fits here, but it´s a hilarious story.

A Year ago my Father, mother, brother and me were driving to lunch(or breakfast), when we came to an intersection. This intersection has seen alot of accidents over the years, because people don´t give a fuck and just turn in. Long story short: A guy almost crashes his van into our car. It all went really fast. My dad shouted, hit the brakes and with a screeching sound we halted. The van just drove on and was before us. My dad muttered something like: "That´s it!" and overtook the van. He stopped infron of said van and got out.(Sidenote: We are all tall in my family. my little brother is a little over 2 meters and is really buff. I´m just 2 meters tall and my dad is a little smaller than me. My mum is the smallest of the bunch with just 1,86 or so) So my dad gets out of the car and starts shouting at the guy in the van. My father is a real pacifist and hates violence of any form, so we all were really shocked. I look over to my brother and say:"We gotta hold him back he´s gonna rip that guys head off!". So we both got out and the guy starts trembling behind his steering wheel, when suddenly a giant stands infront of his car shouting and hitting and kicking the air, while 2 larger giants hold him back (barely though) and try to sooth him. My mother gets out goes over to the guys windows points him to let it down and say:"You´re lucky my sons are with us, otherwise we wouldn´t be having this conversation." She goes back to my father tells him to cool down and we all get back in the car. The guy in the van looks frozen at us and doesnt move a muscle. Remeber we are still on the street holding up the entire intersection, so cars start honking. It´s then i hear my dad laughing and saying:" You didn´t think i was gonna do anything did ya?" We didn´t spoke to him for the rest of the ride, but later at lunch(or breakfast) we all laughed about it.

TL;DR: 3 Giants teach a man not to speed.

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👤︎ u/GnakFlak
📅︎ Mar 24 2014
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