Warning: This post contains Gore
What's the most common word that only contains one letter?
Dad's favorite sushi does not even contain fish
This post may contain centsible content...
A sales guy tried to sell me on a new preparation to wash my hair with, which supposedly contains the excrements of some very special rainforest animal or whatever.
Did you know that a single sperm contains 37.5 MB of DNA information? Meaning that, during 3 seconds long ejaculation, more than 11,250 TERA bytes of information is transmitted.
That's alot of information to swallow.
A pumpkin spiced latte joke should contain the set up, followed by the punchline and
What human body part is long, hard, bendable, most useful when erect, and contains the letters p,n,e,s,i?
Did you know the Boeing 747 contains about 6 million parts?
The mods have a new way of improving the jokes we submit. They now add smell to all the jokes and rate them according to their odour. One mod adds some floral funniness, another tweaks them with sweet smile appeal and a third makes sure they contain a few obnoxious puns.
From now on no joke will be published without their scents of humour.
If you get a message from the government warning not to eat tinned meat because is contains Covid-19, just ignore it.
The FDA recently mandated that chocolate has to contain 12% cacao instead of the current 10%.
Looks like they're raising the chocolate bar.
>'Enter new password' = 'chicken' > 'Password must contain a capital'
George Washington predicted that some day in the future, a dollar bill will contain his likeness.
In that sense, he was on the money.
I know that Shepherd’s Pies don’t contain Shepherds and Cottage Pies aren’t made from cottages, but with meat pies...
Native American naming conventions (contains a swear word)
My dad used to tell me this one growing up:
>Native American child is with his father. He looks up at him and says "Dad, how did you figure out what to name us when we were born?"
>
>The dad responds "Son, it's easy: I just looked around nature and what I saw is what I named you. Your sister, Flying-Eagle, for instance, was born while an eagle flew overhead. Your brother was named Roaming-Buffalo for a similar reason. Why do you ask, Two-Dogs-Fucking?"
Makeup used to contain lead that actually make their skin worse.
I tried using “chicken” as a password but my PC said it must contain a capital
New password is “chickenkiev”
This sentence contains exactly threeee erors.
My friend asked if all sentences had to contain vegetables
Does the orbit between earth and mars of all teapots that do not contain themselves contain itself?
Cheese novice: Did you know cheese contains curds and whey?
All Chemistry exam questions contain trace amounts of the element of surprise.
True Story: An energy drink was just banned after it was found to contain Viagra
I am going to start Web site that is dedicated to revealing secret recipes that contain vegetables that are in the same family as onion and garlic and are especially good with potatoes.
It will be called wikileeks.com
Couldn’t contain myself from taking this pic and making this post
This joke contains Spoilers
My uncle's not a dad, but he could barely contain himself from this one...
My uncle posted a status that his wife finally got granted citizenship:
Uncle: Today, Mrs. [wife] is an American citizen! She is now legally allowed to waste food, hate foreigners and accept Jesus as lord and savior
Dad: And bear arms... can't forget that part.
Uncle: She doesn't have bear arms... she shaves.
(No offense intended)
CFLs contain mercury.
A CFL above the kitchen table is flickering on and off.
Mom: Can't we jiggle it around?
Dad: It's not like a regular light bulb. It doesn't have a filament.
Mom: Really? Then what's inside it?
Me: It's filled with gas.
Mom: Gas? No wonder our house is so well-lit.
New Password: “chicken” Password must contain a capital:
TIL: George Washington predicted that eventually the $1 bill will contain his likeness.
In that regard, he was on the money.
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