It makes me feel good about myself.
It said I had nice eyes
But I’ve always wanted to give Red Bed Redemption a shot.
You: That’s great. Hey bread, tell my wife how beautiful she looks.
"You're very handsome," the bottle told me.
On mothers day last year we went out to eat at Olive Garden. When the salad arrived he picks it up points it towards my mother and says in the most announcer-like voice he can muster, "You look great tonight, Honey!" when asked what he was doing he responded, "Well it's a 'complimentary' salad!". One of my favorite jokes to this day.
And I walked out half cut
Because Trump is bringing his own Pence.
He sits down, orders a beer, and begins to mull over his day.
After a few minutes he hears a quiet, and high pitched voice say "I like your shirt". He looks around and doesn't see anybody, so he goes back to his drink.
A few sips later he hears the same voice say "You have lovely eyes". He looks around again half expecting to see Alvin the chipmunk, but there is nothing.
After a few more sips, he hears it again, "I bet your parents are real proud of you". Finally he has had enough. He slams his drink down, looks over at the bartender, and says "what the hell is that high pitched voice I am hearing?!"
The bartender looks up and says "Its the peanuts...
They're complimentary."
He doesn't see the bartender behind the bar so figures he must be back in the stockroom. As the man walks across the floor he hears a quiet voice say....."nice pants!"
He looks around but sees no one, there are no other people in the bar. He shrugs it off and keeps moving towards the bar.
Then he hears....."your hair looks great!"
Again, he looks around but doesn't see anyone. A little freaked out, he takes a seat at the bar and hears....."I like your tie!"
At that moment, the bartender emerges from the back room and asks "howdy sir, what can I get you?"
The man replies "well, I'll have a whiskey, but I have to tell you the strangest thing has happened to me since I walked in. I keep hearing some voice that keeps saying nice things about me. I must really need that drink I guess."
The bartender smiles and says "ahh, don't worry about it, that happens sometimes, it's probably just the peanuts".
"The peanuts?" asked the man, even more confused.
"Yes, the peanuts" explains the bartender.....
"they're complimentary"
:)
A complimentary.
He sits down and orders a beer
Then hears a soft voice say "That's a really good color on you"
The man looks around and doesn't see anyone, shrugs, and sips his beer.
Shortly there after he hears another study voice whisper "That's a really nice tie"
Looking at the bartender the man says "Do you hear those voices? Because no one else is here except you and me!"
The bartender says "Oh yeah.. Sorry about that.. Its the peanuts, they are complimentary"
A man walks into a bar and orders a beer, he hears a voice and realises it's coming from the bowl of peanuts on the bar "Looking very smart tonight sir and that cologne is hitting all the right notes. Oh yes!"
Somewhat taken aback, but also feeling confident he goes to the Gents to buy some condoms. Just as he's about to put the coins in a voice comes out of the machine "Don't waste your money mate! You haven't got a chance with the ladies tonight."
Astonished at this he relays all this to the barmaid. "Ah, thats easy to explain, the nuts are Complimentary and the condom machine is Out Of Order.
I looked around but didn't see anyone, then suddenly heard, “Beautiful suit!”
Wondering what was going on, I saw the bartender, walked up to him and asked, “I heard a voice talking about my suit and tie and that they looked cool, but no one’s around. Dude, what’s up?!”
The bartender smiled, “Oh yeah, those are the peanuts. They’re complimentary!”
The guy asks the waiter "Excuse me, is this gluten free?"
The waiter responds "Well it's complimentary as long as you order an entree"
I asked the waiter who it was."It's the nuts," he said, "they're complimentary."
.. The bar is dimly lit, and he sees no one in sight. Then he hears a voice: "Hey good lookin'" Just then, the bartender comes around the corner, "Hello, sir. How are you today?" "I'm doing great, but I swear I just heard a voice..?" "Oh, those are the peanuts. They're complimentary."
This conversation begins Me: Can I get dessert? Mom: No, not tonight. Me: But I really want a sunday. Dad: I heard their Mondays are really good!
Mom has look of disappointment while my sister and I give him complimentary laughs.
i went to a bar the other day and i was sitting drinking my drink and suddenly i hear "you are really good looking". I looked around couldnt see anyone talking to me. A few minutes later i heard the same thing again so i asked the bartender where the voice was coming from and he said "oh its the nuts, they're complimentary"
"Oh, it's the peanuts.
They're complimentary."
On his way to the bartender he hears someone say “Nice shoes” he looks around and cant see anyone... He continues walking and hears “Nice Shirt” again he looks around and there is no one in sight.
He finally makes his way to the bartender and says “Mate I have to tell you this bar is extremely nice, but am I hearing voices? I keep hearing someone saying nice shoes, nice shirt but there is no one around?”
The bartender said “oh dont worry about that, its just the peanuts, they are complimentary”
well because they're complimentary!
