My husband’s adding to his stash of dad jokes for our future childrenβ€”here’s an especially eye-rolling example when we were walking back from class today.

I noticed a couple of really cute ground squirrels that have started a little community next to the soccer field at our college campus, and pointed them out. This was his reply.

DH: Oh man, they’re adorable! Can you buy one of those at a pet store? I wonder how much they’d gopher....

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Lifeinsuitcase
πŸ“…︎ May 24 2018
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Dad joked my interviewer today.

So i went in for an interview at my local State college. It used to be a community college a few years ago. The job was for evaluating transcripts and archiving them. Anyway, I get offered the job, and of course a I accept. We were going over some procedural paperwork, I-9, W-4 you know that stuff.

He asks me my birthday, and I say June 24.

"What year?" "Every year."

He just stares at me with a bit of a disgruntled expression.

Yeah new boss, I'm going to be that guy.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Smubii
πŸ“…︎ Feb 04 2015
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Need some creative help for making a t-shirt for a school group.

Using this image, can you give me a good catch phrase that is punny using around 7 letters or fewer, and having something to do with taxes, finance, helping people. The t-shirt is for a volunteer group at a law school that helps indigent people file taxes and participates in community education and advocacy in the area of financial literacy.

Thanks for all of your help!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/beef_creature
πŸ“…︎ Apr 06 2013
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My dad dropped the hammer

My dad, who is Indian, lives in a small college town with a small community of modest, nerdy Indians.

Enter the one fashionista who shows up at a get together sporting a DKNY shirt. My dad walks up, seemingly completely ignorant, and loudly asks, "WHAT IS THIS DONKEY SHIRT?"

Fashionista cried. I died.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/tanman1975
πŸ“…︎ Aug 17 2016
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I was talking to a patient that didn't do very well with his rehab exercises (and didn't try very hard either).

I said, "you gave it the old community college try, eh?"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/sunfistkid
πŸ“…︎ Mar 17 2016
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Earned a fist bump for this one.

Went to McDonald's with some fellow students after TAFE was finished for the day (for those who don't know what TAFE is, I guess the most similar thing would be community college?), and somehow one of the girls ended getting crumbs on her hat: "How did they get there?!" "I guess it's just a crummy hat."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Clarrington
πŸ“…︎ Aug 05 2014
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Dad-joked some co-workers the other day

I came up with this one and shared it at work the other day. I got two chuckles, some groans and one person who threatened to punch me in the balls.

"Did you guys hear that the clog-dancing teacher at the local community college is retiring at the end of the school year? Man, those are going to be some hard shoes to fill"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/LegoGreenLantern
πŸ“…︎ May 24 2015
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A sign of our times.

My dad and I were driving to pick up some pizza the other day, and drove by the local community college. They have one of those new HD billboards, which was flashing garish advertisements for their classes and programs.

"That's a terrible sign," my dad remarked.

"Yeah, those things are distracting and annoying," I agreed. "The things flash too fast for you to really read it, and the color contrast makes it hard to read while you're driving late at night. It's not like the sign in front of my school at all (I'm a teacher). My school has slow transitions and clear lettering that makes things easy to read. It's what makes our billboard auspicious."

My dad frowned. He could tell something was coming. "Why's yours auspicious?"

"Because it's a good sign."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/triforceelf
πŸ“…︎ Mar 30 2015
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