Did you hear about the first successfully cloned man?

He was beside himself.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/lvrcerosis
πŸ“…︎ Aug 30 2020
🚨︎ report
"He's the most foul mouthed person to ever live!" screamed the scientist who cloned himself and later tried to throw the clone off the roof.

He was arrested for attempting to make an obscene clone fall.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/notagoodspelller
πŸ“…︎ Apr 15 2020
🚨︎ report
My friend said he had no idea what would happen if I cloned myself

I replied β€œThat makes two of us”

πŸ‘︎ 32
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/StrykeAssassin
πŸ“…︎ Nov 10 2019
🚨︎ report
I went to the doctor and he cloned me without my permission.

I was beside myself.

πŸ‘︎ 95
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/million_monkeys
πŸ“…︎ Oct 19 2018
🚨︎ report
Gollum cloned himself and formed an 80s synth-pop band

They call themselves Flock of Smeagols

πŸ‘︎ 16
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/garboooge
πŸ“…︎ Apr 17 2019
🚨︎ report
A Guy told me today he did not know what cloning is

I told him, "that makes 2 of us."

πŸ‘︎ 65
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/lolyfe-dc
πŸ“…︎ Nov 27 2020
🚨︎ report
My evil clone is trying to attack me.

But I probably shouldn’t beat myself up over it.

πŸ‘︎ 18
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/King_Arthur24
πŸ“…︎ Nov 26 2020
🚨︎ report
Leia: β€œYears ago you served my father in the Clone Wars...”

Dad: β€œWas her father a turkey?”

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/JiminyKirket
πŸ“…︎ Nov 27 2020
🚨︎ report
When the scientist wanted to clone a deer ...

he bought a doe it yourself kit.

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/kickypie
πŸ“…︎ Oct 30 2020
🚨︎ report
I still don't understand cloning machines

That makes two of us

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Oct 14 2020
🚨︎ report
If I dont perfect human cloning..

I won't be able to live with myself.

πŸ‘︎ 353
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/AustralianGroan
πŸ“…︎ May 10 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call someone who clones trains?

A genetic engineer

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/BinaryPeach
πŸ“…︎ Aug 09 2020
🚨︎ report
I have absolutely no idea what a cloning machine does!

That makes two of us.

πŸ‘︎ 15
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/banditk77
πŸ“…︎ Jul 20 2020
🚨︎ report
I made a clone of Patrick Stewart but something went terribly wrong.

The clone slammed me into a wall and lifted me by the neck. What could I do? I’d been hoisted by my own Picard.

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/tigger3370
πŸ“…︎ Jul 18 2020
🚨︎ report
I am finally ready to open my deer cloning business...

It's for anyone looking to make a quick buck.

πŸ‘︎ 22
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/shercroft
πŸ“…︎ Jul 11 2020
🚨︎ report
My friend said he didn't understand how cloning works

I told him that makes the two of us

πŸ‘︎ 16
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Klaus-012
πŸ“…︎ Jul 22 2020
🚨︎ report
It's been a lifelong dream of mine to live in a house with my own clone. But the science has just come out that most people would hate dealing with someone identical to them.

I just don't think I can live with myself after hearing that.

πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/MrFillywonk
πŸ“…︎ Jul 18 2020
🚨︎ report
I’m so excited! Scientists have tested cloning on humans.

Im beside myself

πŸ‘︎ 95
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/TheSketchiest
πŸ“…︎ May 26 2020
🚨︎ report
What type of rights should clones have?

Copyright

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/David_13710
πŸ“…︎ Jul 13 2020
🚨︎ report
We will never run out of puns now!

A giant list of puns

What do you call a fake noodle? An Impasta.

I would avoid the sushi if I was you. It’s a little fishy.

Want to hear a joke about paper? Nevermind it’s tearable.

Why did the cookie cry? Because his father was a wafer so long!

I used to work in a shoe recycling shop. It was sole destroying.

What do you call a belt with a watch on it? A waist of time.

How do you organize an outer space party? You planet.

I went to a seafood disco last week... and pulled a mussel.

Do you know where you can get chicken broth in bulk? The stock market.

I cut my finger chopping cheese, but I think that I may have greater problems.

My cat was just sick on the carpet, I don’t think it’s feline well.

Why did the octopus beat the shark in a fight? Because it was well armed.

How much does a hipster weigh? An instagram.

What did daddy spider say to baby spider? You spend too much time on the web.

Atheism is a non-prophet organisation.

There’s a new type of broom out, it’s sweeping the nation.

What cheese can never be yours? Nacho cheese.

What did the Buffalo say to his little boy when he dropped him off at school? Bison.

Have you ever heard of a music group called Cellophane? They mostly wrap.

Why does Superman gets invited to dinners? Because he is a Supperhero.

How was Rome split in two? With a pair of Ceasars.

The shovel was a ground breaking invention.

A scarecrow says, "This job isn't for everyone, but hay, it's in my jeans."

A Buddhist walks up to a hot dog stand and says, "Make me one with everything."

Did you hear about the guy who lost the left side of his body? He's alright now.

What do you call a girl with one leg that's shorter than the other? Ilene.

I did a theatrical performance on puns. It was a play on words.

What do you do with a dead chemist? You barium.

I bet the person who created the door knocker won a Nobel prize.

Towels can’t tell jokes. They have a dry sense of humor.

Two birds are sitting on a perch and one says "Do you smell fish?"

Do you know sign language? You should learn it, it’s pretty handy.

What do you call a beautiful pumpkin? GOURDgeous.

Why did one banana spy on the other? Because she was appealing.

What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.

What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef.

What do you call a cow with all of its legs? High steaks.

A cross eyed teacher couldn’t control his pupils.

After the accident, the juggler didn’t have the balls to do it.

I used to be afraid of hu

... keep reading on reddit ➑

πŸ‘︎ 21
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/communist_scumbag
πŸ“…︎ Nov 26 2020
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the Sith apprentice who finally got his printer to work?

I hear the problem was A dam driver.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/OratioFidelis
πŸ“…︎ Dec 04 2020
🚨︎ report
If you think Marvel is planning to clone Benjamin J. Grimm,

you've got another Thing coming.

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/RayInRed
πŸ“…︎ Apr 28 2020
🚨︎ report
If I can’t clone myself

I’ll have to copy someone else

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/chrissyboy_0161
πŸ“…︎ May 11 2020
🚨︎ report
My dad got me a clone of myself for my birthday...

He said β€œHere, it’s faux you!”

πŸ‘︎ 16
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Dolphinflavored
πŸ“…︎ Nov 25 2019
🚨︎ report
I really loved my Aunt Endre, so I decided to clone her.

That way I would have double Aunt Endres.

πŸ‘︎ 36
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Sep 06 2019
🚨︎ report
My friend, who happens to be a female sheep, made a clone of herself and had sex with her clone. My entire friend group was totally disgusted, but I encouraged it, and said...

Ewe do ewe.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Youtuatoot
πŸ“…︎ Jan 08 2020
🚨︎ report
What do trailer parks and Mexican clones have in common?

They are both manufactured, homes.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Nov 27 2019
🚨︎ report
The man who invented human cloning has died.

The mourners will be beside themselves at the funeral.

πŸ‘︎ 19
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Naptownfellow
πŸ“…︎ Sep 28 2019
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the man who sat next to his clone on the train?

He was beside himself

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/The-pod-bay-doors
πŸ“…︎ Oct 03 2019
🚨︎ report
Failed cloning.

I thought I had perfected my cloning technique but something went terribly wrong. I just got ahead of myself.

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/PolymathEquation
πŸ“…︎ Feb 04 2019
🚨︎ report
My son told me he didn't understand cloning. reddit.com/r/dadjokes/com…
πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/blazinfastjohny
πŸ“…︎ May 18 2019
🚨︎ report
After making out with my clone, I kept talking about how in my day, we didn't have sex until marriage.

There I go dating myself again.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/emperorchaz
πŸ“…︎ Jul 29 2019
🚨︎ report
Sneak preview of new atar wars plot

an army of clones of the most hated celebrities attack hollywood.

Remaking due to spelling error.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Calthropstu
πŸ“…︎ Aug 11 2020
🚨︎ report
Don't like jokes about cloning?

That makes two of us.

πŸ‘︎ 14
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ConfidentDuck1
πŸ“…︎ Jul 26 2020
🚨︎ report
When the scientist wanted to clone a deer ..

he bought a doe it yourself kit.

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/kickypie
πŸ“…︎ May 24 2020
🚨︎ report
My son told me he didn't understand cloning.

I told him, 'that makes two of us'.

πŸ‘︎ 14k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/26326312
πŸ“…︎ May 18 2019
🚨︎ report
My deer cloning operation has succeeded!

I can finally make a quick buck...

πŸ‘︎ 51
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/shercroft
πŸ“…︎ Apr 18 2020
🚨︎ report
My wife said, β€œI don’t really understand the theory behind human cloning.”

Me: That makes two of us.

πŸ‘︎ 23
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Apr 14 2020
🚨︎ report
A giant list of puns from r/copypasta

A giant list of puns

What do you call a fake noodle? An Impasta.

I would avoid the sushi if I was you. It’s a little fishy.

Want to hear a joke about paper? Nevermind it’s tearable.

Why did the cookie cry? Because his father was a wafer so long!

I used to work in a shoe recycling shop. It was sole destroying.

What do you call a belt with a watch on it? A waist of time.

How do you organize an outer space party? You planet.

I went to a seafood disco last week... and pulled a mussel.

Do you know where you can get chicken broth in bulk? The stock market.

I cut my finger chopping cheese, but I think that I may have greater problems.

My cat was just sick on the carpet, I don’t think it’s feline well.

Why did the octopus beat the shark in a fight? Because it was well armed.

How much does a hipster weigh? An instagram.

What did daddy spider say to baby spider? You spend too much time on the web.

Atheism is a non-prophet organisation.

There’s a new type of broom out, it’s sweeping the nation.

What cheese can never be yours? Nacho cheese.

What did the Buffalo say to his little boy when he dropped him off at school? Bison.

Have you ever heard of a music group called Cellophane? They mostly wrap.

Why does Superman gets invited to dinners? Because he is a Supperhero.

How was Rome split in two? With a pair of Ceasars.

The shovel was a ground breaking invention.

A scarecrow says, "This job isn't for everyone, but hay, it's in my jeans."

A Buddhist walks up to a hot dog stand and says, "Make me one with everything."

Did you hear about the guy who lost the left side of his body? He's alright now.

What do you call a girl with one leg that's shorter than the other? Ilene.

I did a theatrical performance on puns. It was a play on words.

What do you do with a dead chemist? You barium.

I bet the person who created the door knocker won a Nobel prize.

Towels can’t tell jokes. They have a dry sense of humor.

Two birds are sitting on a perch and one says "Do you smell fish?"

Do you know sign language? You should learn it, it’s pretty handy.

What do you call a beautiful pumpkin? GOURDgeous.

Why did one banana spy on the other? Because she was appealing.

What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.

What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef.

What do you call a cow with all of its legs? High steaks.

A cross eyed teacher couldn’t control his pupils.

After the accident, the juggler didn’t have the balls to do it.

I used to be afraid of hu

... keep reading on reddit ➑

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Nov 26 2020
🚨︎ report
Me: "I'm going to clone myself"

Dad: "that would be just like you".

πŸ‘︎ 70
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Arctikavanian
πŸ“…︎ Jan 28 2020
🚨︎ report
Her: I have no idea how the science behind human cloning works.

Me: That makes two of us.

πŸ‘︎ 82
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jan 30 2020
🚨︎ report
Clones are people two.
πŸ‘︎ 94
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/cardboardshrimp
πŸ“…︎ Sep 15 2019
🚨︎ report
Me: I'm not sure what this cloning machine does

Also me: well that makes two of us

πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/RB9k
πŸ“…︎ Mar 04 2020
🚨︎ report
You don't understand cloning?

Don't worry. That makes two of us.

πŸ‘︎ 68
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/JadedByEntropy
πŸ“…︎ Aug 09 2019
🚨︎ report
Her:I don’t even know what the cloning machine does

Me:Well that makes two of us

πŸ‘︎ 329
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Denserrhyme761
πŸ“…︎ Jul 04 2019
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the guy who met his clone?

He was so shocked, he was beside himself.

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/radioclash86
πŸ“…︎ Jan 08 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call a clone of yourself?

A β€œW”.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/hidinghiddengone
πŸ“…︎ Nov 14 2019
🚨︎ report
My buddy said he doesn't know what cloning is

That makes two of us.

πŸ‘︎ 63
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/thatsquishyboy
πŸ“…︎ May 17 2019
🚨︎ report

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