Had the wife stop the movie to watch a quick clip. After she sat down I told her" You could cut the dogs feet off".

She said "I don't understand.....".

I said " UN-PAUSE".

I had to explain it to her...

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πŸ‘€︎ u/JJJoyce
πŸ“…︎ Oct 30 2020
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Without saran wrap or bread clips.

Our lives would be very stale

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Anthonybrose
πŸ“…︎ Nov 27 2020
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These comments where from a clip where someone cleaning at a foreign range almost gets hit by a stray bullet
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πŸ‘€︎ u/PbyFortress
πŸ“…︎ Sep 15 2020
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What goes clip clop, clip clop, clip clop, BANG, BANG, BANG?

An Amish drive by shooting.

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πŸ“…︎ Sep 20 2020
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So, my mum lost a few hair clips...

I eventually found all three of them sitting on the hearth in front of the fireplace.

My dad, being the joker he is, promptly said "There's nothing I can say. In total, three clips on the hearth."

Your humour is amazing, dads

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Squidinator69
πŸ“…︎ Jun 28 2020
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I was trying to get the rent for this month together, but my wife kept showing me clips from 60 Minutes...

I should have known she'd try to Stahl...

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Apr 02 2020
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What goes "clip-clop-clip-clop-bang?"

An Amish drive-by.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/kickypie
πŸ“…︎ Mar 05 2020
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What did the bartender say to the alligator clips?

Don't you try to start anything.

The funny thing is that one of the was already charged and the other one was grounded

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πŸ‘€︎ u/HeckingBambuuzeld
πŸ“…︎ Dec 19 2019
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Clip art
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πŸ‘€︎ u/burtybob92
πŸ“…︎ Aug 31 2019
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A clip off the old block
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πŸ‘€︎ u/dis_newt02
πŸ“…︎ Oct 05 2019
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Roach clips are pot holders
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Asmor
πŸ“…︎ Sep 29 2019
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It’s a β€œPAPER CLIP”
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Deathwithdarkness
πŸ“…︎ Sep 26 2019
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Condom commercials should just be a short clip of a couple trying to enjoy a nice meal in public with children.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DrClapCheeks
πŸ“…︎ Jul 19 2019
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Why is a roach clip called a roach clup?

Because potholder was taken.

Edit:clip,not clup.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/shdchko
πŸ“…︎ Sep 12 2019
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On a clip of clams lurching around on a plate
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πŸ“…︎ Jun 12 2019
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Clip art
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πŸ‘€︎ u/samimac03
πŸ“…︎ Jun 07 2018
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What kind of glove should you wear to hold a roach clip when smoking a joint?

A potholder.

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πŸ“…︎ Mar 07 2019
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Crime is getting worse where I live, so my dad decided to give me some protection and boxed up his trusty 9mm, a big and a small clip and a bunch of shells for me! [Xpost /r/funny]

https://imgur.com/2ylrnpK

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πŸ‘€︎ u/lindymad
πŸ“…︎ Jan 13 2016
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Why isn't there a monthly magazine about guns called Clip?
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πŸ‘€︎ u/LordJimsicle
πŸ“…︎ Jul 14 2016
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My co-worker dumped a small box of rubber bands looking for a paper clip. My other co-worker comes into the office and asks what happened to the rubber bands.

I responded with "It must have been that darn rubber bandit again!" That was my first really quick dad joker that I actually got complimented on!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ralyks
πŸ“…︎ Oct 22 2016
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Dad dropped this one on us yesterday when we were watching a video clip of someone crashing his race car.

Presenter: "The driver sustained no permanent injuries."
Dad: "Because he died?"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/S1nth0raS
πŸ“…︎ Mar 16 2014
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My local news anchor this morning regarding a car driving into a Great Clips

"It was a hairy situation at Great Clips..."

It took me a second to catch it but when I did I had to chuckle.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/KCP100
πŸ“…︎ Jan 16 2014
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What goes "Clip clop, clip clop, clip clop, clip clop, TWANG clip clop, clip clop, clip clop, clip clop"?

An Amish driveby.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Mangosta007
πŸ“…︎ Sep 04 2019
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