A Senti Claus
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πŸ‘€︎ u/_scrapegoat_
πŸ“…︎ Dec 25 2020
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Why does Mrs. Claus hate Santa?

He has too many ho ho hos

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πŸ‘€︎ u/drewc249
πŸ“…︎ Dec 23 2020
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Santa Claus announced that he’s giving everyone the same gardening tool for Christmas.

Hoe! Hoe! Hoe!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/stchrysostom
πŸ“…︎ Dec 06 2020
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What did Santa say to Mrs. Claus when he saw a thunderstorm?

What did Santa say to Mrs. Claus when he saw a thunderstorm?

Looks like reindeer.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Sandyatk445
πŸ“…︎ Dec 26 2020
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What do you call a kid that doesn’t believe in Santa Claus?

So what do you call a kid that doesn’t believe in Santa Claus?

A rebel without a Claus (insert all the groans here)

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πŸ“…︎ Dec 19 2020
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Why doesn't Santa Claus have to worry about catching COVID-19?

Because he has Santa-bodies.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/BeefEater81
πŸ“…︎ Dec 11 2020
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Why Santa tell Mrs. Claus to carry an umbrella?

"Looks like rain dear"

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πŸ“…︎ Dec 22 2020
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Santa to Mrs. Claus: do you hear that noise?

Mrs Claus: It's only rain dear.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/myhomebasenl
πŸ“…︎ Dec 24 2020
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Be like Santa Claus and prevent the spread of Covid

Use Santatizer

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πŸ“…︎ Dec 08 2020
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What's the secret to being Santa Claus?

You either have the gift or you don't.

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πŸ“…︎ Dec 08 2020
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Why can’t Santa Claus get COVID-19?

He has santibodies.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Squeazer
πŸ“…︎ Nov 22 2020
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I work at the mall as Santa Claus during Christmas. I'm wearing the costume for most of the day, but sometimes my colleague takes my place while I take a break

I'm the main Claus and he's my subordinate Claus.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/MokshK
πŸ“…︎ Oct 22 2020
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Santa got Coronavirus this year so Mrs Claus had to take over toy production, orders, and present deliveries.

Sleigh Queen

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πŸ‘€︎ u/diceblue
πŸ“…︎ Oct 01 2020
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What nationality is Santa Claus?

North Polish

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πŸ‘€︎ u/linkhandford
πŸ“…︎ Dec 22 2019
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How much does Santa Claus charge to park his sleigh?

Nothing. It’s on the house.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/dtxdx
πŸ“…︎ Aug 28 2020
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Why wouldn’t that kid play catch with Santa Claus?

He had Clausthrowphobia.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/kilokiilo
πŸ“…︎ Feb 08 2020
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As an adult I know now that my parents were actually Santa Claus.

But I still don’t know how they got to all those houses in one night.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/blackcatice
πŸ“…︎ Dec 20 2019
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How do you call orange Santa Claus?

Fanta Claus

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πŸ‘€︎ u/troporos
πŸ“…︎ Dec 19 2019
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What did Mrs. Claus say to Santa when she looked out the window?

It looks like rain, dear.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Radish00
πŸ“…︎ Dec 23 2019
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What did Santa Claus say when he caught Mrs. Claus cheating?

Hoe-hoe-hoe!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/trollcitybandit
πŸ“…︎ Oct 14 2019
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Santa wakes in a start and turns to Mrs Claus

"I just had the weirdest dream, and I can't make any sense of it."

Mrs Claus sits up and replies "Why don't you tell me about it dear?"

"They're I am, doing the Christmas eve rounds, checking in on the workers and I see one of them topping up the sleigh with gas. It's just routine work, but it woke me up tonight. What do you make of it?"

"Oh I see," Mrs Claus says, "very interesting."

"Well?" Santa says expectantly.

"This is a classic example of an elf fuel filling prophecy."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/djott3r
πŸ“…︎ Dec 15 2019
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I visited my friend and when I got there I noticed he had dressed up a bottle of gin like Santa Claus. So I asked him about it.

He told me, β€œOh that? It’s just a bit of holiday spirit.”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Cananbaum
πŸ“…︎ Dec 16 2019
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Santa Claus probably has...

sELFish desires.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Agentgames25
πŸ“…︎ Sep 11 2019
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What would Santa call Mrs. Claus if she was a slut?

A ho ho ho

On a serious note Merry Christmas

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πŸ‘€︎ u/H3nTy
πŸ“…︎ Dec 22 2019
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If you dress up as santa claus is it claus-playing?
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Zayyded
πŸ“…︎ Nov 12 2019
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claus-trophobic.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ItsDaDoc
πŸ“…︎ Aug 08 2019
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What does Santa Claus use a mod operator for?

To find his remain-deer ;o)

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Hopplethop
πŸ“…︎ Oct 26 2019
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Once I saw a guy dressed like santa claus...

I was in a mall and I went in the elevator and I saw santa just ripping off his beard and I got scared

After that incident, I'm claustrophobic.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/happy_anand
πŸ“…︎ Dec 24 2018
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There were 100 kids at the North Pole with Santa Claus. Why weren't they opening the presents?

Their tiny little hooves couldn't unwrap the paper.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/vikingvynotking
πŸ“…︎ Jul 20 2019
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I was about 12 when my mom told me that Santa Claus was my father.

I'm not sure if she ever told my dad.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/comicsrus_joe
πŸ“…︎ Dec 24 2017
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What did Mrs. Claus say to Santa when she looked out of the window?

It looks like rain, dear.

(From r/funny)

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πŸ‘€︎ u/NameMyLife
πŸ“…︎ Dec 05 2018
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TIL Santa Claus is European..

North Polish to be exact

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πŸ‘€︎ u/wompwompah
πŸ“…︎ Dec 03 2017
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Where does Santa Claus get his toys?

From the toilet.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Shin-Kong
πŸ“…︎ Dec 19 2018
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If Santa Claus forgets to pay the mortgage on his workshop.....

Is he in forclausure?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/The3dPrintMaster
πŸ“…︎ Mar 04 2019
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What does Mrs. Claus do while Santa is delivering presents?

She misses Claus

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πŸ‘€︎ u/offsky
πŸ“…︎ Dec 18 2018
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What do you call someone who doesn't believe in Santa Claus?

Eggnog-stic.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/JessNicole114
πŸ“…︎ Dec 08 2018
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What do you get when you cross Santa Claus with a detective?

Santa Clues

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ThotHunter420
πŸ“…︎ Dec 26 2018
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Why does Santa Claus have three gardens?

So he can hoe-hoe-hoe!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/this_is_grand
πŸ“…︎ Dec 27 2018
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LPT: For the next two months, whenever the doorbell rings, tell your kids, β€œIt’s Santa Claus”

You never have to get up again.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Nov 01 2018
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What did Mrs. Claus say to her husband when she looked to the sky? Looks like rain, dear.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/mlucasr
πŸ“…︎ Dec 11 2018
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Last Christmas season, I took my son to see Santa Claus at the mall and he stank of booze and cigarettes.

God knows what Santa must have thought of him.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Sep 25 2018
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Did you know Santa Claus was Russian?

Russian to deliver all those presents!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Car_radio21
πŸ“…︎ Jul 02 2018
🚨︎ report
What did Santa say to Mrs. Claus when he saw a thunderstorm?

Looks like reindeer!!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Jaesquared
πŸ“…︎ Dec 09 2019
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