in july (i think) last year i was going to be sent to the mental hospital in my area, i attempted suicide earlier that day and was taken to the hospital and they planned to send me to another hospital to take me to the mental health unit. i was in the paediatrics unit and i had a horrible panic attack. i started shaking and i locked myself in the washroom. i started hearing voices and i started hyperventilating. they called a code white on me because i was “showing aggression” and a bunch of people started banging on the door. i was shaking so much. i was screaming and they somehow unlocked the door and started pulling me out of the room, i got strapped to the bed and they tired to make me take a pill but i refused. they put a needle in my leg and i started to calm down, i was crying and wishing for my mom. this was the worst thing they could do to a mentally ill person. i honestly want to go back just to feel something.. i’m so empty now.
posted this somewhere else and got nothing and didn't realize till that happened that I think I deserve to have someone say they hear me and maybe even are mad for me. I dont know dont say it if oyu dont mean it though
I just read an article that said "when I was in 4th grade, I came home and told my mother I felt like killing myself. She rushed into action, getting me professional help."
When I was in 3th grade I tried killing myself by jumping out my second story window. My father pulled me in and then it all goes dark. I'm not trying to imply anything about that, there's a lot of my childhood I just either never encoded or have blocked out. I know he didn't ever talk to me about it, even though I was screaming as he pulled me out that I wanted to hurt myself (I didn't say kill myself, I remember very clearly shouting "I have to hurt myself.")
I *did* get sent to therapy for a while and it might have been related, but it was much later, like sixth grade. I remember the therapist telling me to do things like push my emotions deep inside, to imagine myself an alligator with tough skin. I think he was trying to help me by encouraging me to be strong, but I think it backfired. I remember the one time I really tried to open up to him and was crying, he said "this isn't you. This isn't the [Name] I know."
I was never told why I was sent to therapy, but it was my perception that it was so I would be a nicer person to everyone else. That I didn't matter, my happiness and health didn't matter, it was about not being such a goddamn pain to everyone else.
Example: regicide means to kill royalty, homocide means to kill the same, etc.
If -cide is “to kill” is there a formal “to abduct” besides the colloquial “nap” as in “kidnap”?
homacide
genocide
suicide
plantacide
like why???
I made this account just to post sad shit here I don’t know anymore I manage to ruin... everything
Every friendship Every relationship
I wanted to die for a really long time but I’m not gonna do it, ever, I made a promise and I’m sticking by it
I just have those intrusive thoughts about killing myself all the time and it drives me crazy.
I’m not gonna do it
But I don’t even deserve to live, even though I don’t deserve to die either, it’ll just cause everyone grief and guilt, and I don’t wanna burden anyone with that, I know how that feels good enough to not inflict it on others
So why won’t those thoughts stop?
I can’t help those closest to me, and I usually just make it worse I’m a terrible person who made a few huge mistakes I’ll never stop beating myself over, and yet it’ll never be enough.
I wanna get this over with, but I’m not gonna end it all, as much as I wish I could.
I have a lot of trauma to deal with... and I’m not doing it, and it’s fucking everything up.
I just said some really wrong things while tipsy, I hurt someone I care about, and here I go again with this downward spiral, of hating myself and wishing I was never even born, it’s unhealthy, but partially true.
Just... why can’t I do the right thing for once?
Why do I have to hurt everyone I care about simply by being me?
Why can’t I keep my damn mouth shut?
Why do I have to rush in and try to help, but instead of helping I just always make things worse?
Do you finally hate me? What about all of the others? Do they finally see the me they didn’t wanna see? Did they realize all I do is destroy everything I touch?
I didn’t feel so low in ages, all I needed was the confirmation of leaving someone speechless, of fucking everything up enough to the point where they had nothing left to say.
I couldn’t possibly say this shit to anyone I know, so I’m sorry to everyone who bothers to read this.
I just... I was sure I’m getting better, but I just got better at convincing myself that bullshit, I’m just the same as I was 5 years ago at 14, a self loathing mess who ruins every close connection he manages to create
I may be over dramatic
But I’ve felt that way for a while. And I can’t take it anymore
I’m not gonna do it
I’m just gonna think about doing it and joining my best friend in the nonexistent void.
Maybe I’ll stop hurting people Maybe I’ll stop hurting Maybe I’ll stop...
I just need to make sure I don’t fall over the deep end, I just need to keep everyone safe, I just
... keep reading on reddit ➡
Trigger warning: suicide - from here on out the word will be censored for sensitivity.
Links censored for TW sensitivity as well.
>!https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org!<
>!https://www.opencounseling.com/suicide-hotlines!<
I’ll probably get downvoted for this or it will just get buried but even just today I’ve seen many posts about people seriously contemplating su*cide and it makes me so sad.
Coming from someone who has been there, if you are currently in a position where you are thinking about su*cide, or you have a plan, or are just going through such a rough time with T (or maybe it’s even not T related, but it can make everything seem so much worse) to where it feels like su\cide is the only option, please call 911 or get yourself to a hospital. These kinds of thoughts are not normal, are serious, and can easily become a life threatening emergency.
I extremely encourage a hospital/ER visit but, If going to the hospital is not an option... Up top I’ve included the national suicide prevention hotline website, where their phone number is easily accessible or if you can’t speak or have anxiety there is even a chat line available too. The second link has international hotline numbers for other countries (non US).
And lastly, I am not a doctor or a mental health professional but my messages are always open if you need to talk.
To my tinnitus fam I know it’s really hard and it sucks so bad. Three months in myself just know that the first few weeks are the worst. But your brain gets used to it and the tinnitus gets better I promise.
I love you, and I am so happy you are here. 💕
Edit: I want to put it out there that I am also not trained in handling mental health crisis(es?). I cannot offer medical or mental health advice. What I can do is lend an ear, offer DM’s and point you towards resources I am familiar with. With that, I’m lucky enough to work full time in this pandemic so if I don’t respond right away please don’t take that to mean I am ignoring you. I will respond as soon as I can. Thank you!
yeah, dont DO it stephen
Please do not read if you think any of the things written here will trigger you.
I'll start with saying that I'm very young, and I've started self harming and having suicidal thoughts and tendencies very early in life, I was always a troubled kid even before my childhood traumas cause of my still undiagnosed neurodivergency.
The other day I was talking with my boyfriend, I've slipped again into self harm and I've had one failed attempt but finally someone moved their ass and I've been admitted in a psych ward, and that's good but also very scary for me, but he was very nice about it. As we start talking about suicide he said something that I don't agree with, which is "I'm sorry people commit suicide, they should asked more for help" and as good as that might sound, as someone that has been yelling for help for almost 6 years, always getting silenced and invalidated, and that just now gets to have a bit of help, I think that it 100% bullshits, but I was nice to him and explained him why it was false, he got it don't you worry.
Suicidal people ask just the right amount of help, it's up to the people around them to help them, not make their path for help harder, which is what happened to me since my whole family is really abusive and.. You know.. They don't wanna go to jail, or pay a fee, or even worse, lose their emotion dummy.
Many times I just felt like suicide was my only option, I was too scared to ask for help to the authorities and my family didn't get me any, they actually made fun of me and told me I was an attention seeker... And other times I actually thought they deserved it, they should be all over the news for how bad they were, I was gonna write a letter with all my pain and rage on it, but I never got to do it, cause... What if was my fault? What if I was the bad guy? They made me believe that, and my mind does, to this day, I know they're unfair to this... Child, who was mentally and emotionally abused and now is forever scarred, but... I can't, I'm afraid to expose them. You learn you have an abusive family when they literally have to tell you lies to scare you into not asking for help from the authorities. But this time no, I won't be afraid, even if this means never seeing my home ever again, it was never a safe place to me so it can burn for all I care. I'm such a bad kid.
TW: fell into my first-ever major depressive episode after a friend of mine ended his life last April. It was completely unexpected and traumatic.
After this, even seeing the topic of su*icide in movies or in the news would spiral me into INTENSE existential panic attacks that would last for days, sometimes weeks on end. My thoughts have been centered around this obsession of “what if I lose control and do that one day?” Or “what if my depression becomes too much and I do that in the future?”
Is this normal? Has anyone experienced this? And if so, will I ever get over it?
I didn’t have OCD before this. But since this happened, it is all of my thoughts have been centered around for almost a year now and I’m so worried I’ll never be the same again. I wake up and go to bed at night trying to actively avoid thoughts centered around the subject, but my efforts to avoid them make them louder. It’s like a scab in my brain that I can’t stop picking at.
Just want me thoughts to be normal again.. 😔
I am sending you 1π! Pi is a new digital currency developed by Stanford PhDs, with over 10 million members worldwide. To claim your Pi, follow this link https://minepi.com/Kuhlin and use my username (Kuhlin) as your invitation code.
We are long distance and have never met- but talk everyday. We helped each other through quarantine, but over the last few months, I’ve simply lost interest in her romantically. She is very attention needy and anxious- which I personally do not have the mental health status to deal with at this time. I don’t feel I can make her happy, or make myself happy either. However- she had let me know that she has planned out a way to kill her self, should she ever feel this bad. She is scared to ask her parents for mental health care, and I have no idea how to break up with her when I have been almost her only support, and still am. How am I supposed to do this without it resulting in something worse?
A little while ago I stumbled upon the definition of homicide as "a person who kills another," contrasting with the usual meaning of the killing itself. Looking at some other words ending in -cide shows the same pattern, though the first known usages don't seem to stick with one sense or the other. Wiktionary notes that the Latin -cidium and -cida are merged into the English -cide, but do we know how this happened? Do both meanings spring into existence when one sense or the other is used in a new formation (e.g. the nascent and as-yet-unattested technicide)?
Edit: I don't spel gud.
Soy egresada de la Facultad de Economía UNAM, y he sido aceptada en los cursos propedéuticos de la Maestría en Economía tanto de COLMEX como del CIDE. Me encuentro aún indecisa. Mis áreas de interés son el desarrollo economico y la economía cuantitativa y un poco así la economía pública, se que cada institución tiene su fuerte en alguna de estas áreas. Pero quisiera conocer su opinión. ¿Cuál creen que es mejor para estos campos y porqué?
Gracias!
i used to be FTM from 13-15(maybe 16) and then detransitioned cus i liked girl clothes. i used to be really dysphoric but then thought it was probably just body dysmorphia.
i’m 18 now and i’m questioning again. every now and then id think about being a boy since detransitioning but now i do it a lot. it’s hard to decide cus i wanna have kids and everything and maybe i could live as a girl but uncomfortably ya know,, like i missed something out in life by not transitioning. it would be cool to be a dad ngl.
i don’t even think i’m dysphoric,, id just rather be a boy. questioning is putting such stress on me that i’d rather just k*ll myself than keep wondering. i’m terrified of making a mistake especially since i already detransitioned once (socially)
when i think of taking T i like what it would do to me but i worry i’ll be dysphoric about my voice or my brow bone getting bigger from the side even tho i love when my voice breaks normally.
basically i’m really confused and need advice cus it’s not fun to wanna k*ll myself and i can’t talk to anyone irl cus i’m scared i’ll scare my bf away and my family are kinda weird about me being trans.
I’m an 18yr old female, and I’m currently in online classes. Normally school is a way for me to escape my feelings because I can socialize and focus on something else. But in online classes Focusing on work is such a struggle. I fall asleep, I cry out of frustration, I get distracted by anything around me, and this feeds into my crippling fear of failure. I feel like I’m too much of a failure to do anything. And I just want to end it because I don’t think I’m going to get anywhere in life. I can barely see any of my friends, and when I try to talk about my state my parents just tell me to suck it up. I’m too depressed to do anything at this point. Idk what I should do.
