I love to smother my burger with lots of chunky tomato, onion and garlic condiment...

I really relish it.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ProfessionalEntry
πŸ“…︎ May 08 2018
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I have no filter...

Please help my coffee tastes chunky

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πŸ“…︎ Jun 21 2020
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Sharpening the dadjoke knife here lately...

My 4y/o is watching a cartoon whereby there are some asteroids and meteors & says, β€œOh my goodness gracious! Daddy! A meteor shower!!”

To which I responded, β€œMeatier than what? Campbell’s Chunky Soup?”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Pandastrong35
πŸ“…︎ Jun 11 2020
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Did you hear about the female rapper that only battled while she was on her menstrual cycle?

They said she had a mean flow

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ThisEffinGuyz
πŸ“…︎ Jun 03 2019
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Dad nearly made me and mom choke on our coffee

Backstory: I had bought a set of nice Nespresso coffee cups for my parents for Christmas (original, I know). But these aren't your standard, chunky, ceramic Christmas mugs with snowflakes or Santas, but actually something for the type of coffee fanatics that spend their money on Clooney's kind of blend, what else?

So - having dessert; cake, coffee, the whole shabang.

Me, inspecting one of said cups: "I'm glad I actually found a set that doesn't stay in the cupboard all year like literally every other mug you've ever gotten from anyone."

Mom, eating cake: "Mm-hmm."

Me: "Like, these are actually really nice. I like the pattern around the base and how they're round and square at the same time."

Mom, between bites: "They're very nice."

Suddenly, Dad, eating his cake completely silently up until this point: "You should take a picture of them. Might make for a pretty cool mugshot."

Cue me barely managing to swallow my coffee, Mom chuckling into her cup and both our subsequent groans

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πŸ‘€︎ u/robowiizard
πŸ“…︎ Apr 19 2017
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Joke my dad made up...

What did the skinny jar of peanut butter say to the fat jar of peanut butter?

You're Chunky...

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πŸ‘€︎ u/burn23notice
πŸ“…︎ Nov 16 2013
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Wrong tooth paste

I was over at my MIL's with my wife and my MIL's boyfriend. We got on the subject of how my wife hates cold, chunky food. The rest of the conversation went like this

Mbf: "They make a toothpaste for that. It's called sensodyne.

Wife: " I have tried it, but it didn't work."

Me: "No. It's sensodyne, not Trident."

I also think I stopped my wife from punching the Mbf, because he hates him and he always thinks he has the answer to thinks. So... dadjoked stopped my wife from assaulting someone.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/nolehusker
πŸ“…︎ May 05 2014
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