Childhoods Puns

The most prominent elf we know, grew up legoless

Those were good years

I was always dragged across sharpened perforated metal.

dad used to roll me down the hills in tires...

those were goodyears

Q. Why was a frog flying?A. Because he ate a helium baloon.Q. Then why was a snake flying?A. Because it ate the flying frog.Q. Then why was the eagle flying?A. Because it has wings

That is, until my mom took the urn away.

Until my mother took the urn from me

He was quite the character

They were Goodyears.

A silicon.

I was wondering why the ball was getting bigger, then it hit me! Never trust an atom, they make up everything! Long fairy tales do tend to drag on! I made a pun about the wind, but it blows! I had a pizza joke, but it was too CHEESY! I know a guy who collected candy canes, they were all in mint condition! Don't discuss infinity with your math teacher, they'll go on forever! The ability to fly would be so uplifting! My friend's bakery burned down, now it's toast! I was gonna get a brain transplant, but I changed my mind! german food jokes are the wurst! My local A.T.M stopped working and it doesn't make any cents! I miss my childhood friend and he misses me, but our aim is getting better! My friend found out she was colorblind, it came out of the orange for her! What did the duck say when she purchased some new lipstick? Put it on my bill! Towels can't tell jokes, they have dry senses of humor. What did the buffalo say to his son going away to college? Bison! What does a clock do when it's hungry? It goes back four seconds! What's the U.S.A's favorite soda?Mini soda! The bicycle couldn't be ridden because it was two tired! The car wasn't up for being driven because it was completely exhausted!

Yes no maybe I don't know, could you repeat the question?

She was lack toes intolerant.

My parents are the worst.

...

...

Boy, that was a real pair o dime shift

A dad-a-base

I’d like to speak to your manger.

Life before that was a blur.

How many tickles does it take to tickle an octopus? (Ten-tickles)

Why can’t a nose be 12 inches long? (Cause then it’d be a foot!)

Why can’t a bicycle stand up on its own? (It’s two tired)

It does not.

My son asked me: "Where does poo come from?"

I was a little uncomfortable, but gave him an honest explanation.

He stared at me in stunned silence for a few seconds, and asked, "And Tigger?"

Until my mom hid the urn from me.

Life before that is a blur.

Shingles.

It's his wife's porpoise, after all.

My parents are so rude to me.

I just couldn't measure up.

Everyone romaine calm!

Those were the Good Years.

when she’s mad at your dad!

And there he comes to the old woman:

— Your ticket.

"Sweethart, I’m sorry, I must have lost it!” the old woman replies, rummaging through her bag. The man grabs the old woman and throws her out the window. She falls and is crushed to death. At the trial, the man is sentenced to death in the electric chair.

— Your last wish.

— You know, I really want to eat a banana.

A man eats a banana brought to him. The leader of the execution turns on the current - the man does not die. The switch is pulled a second time, the third - no effect. According to the law, the defendant must be released. After some time, the man again gets a job as a train conductor. Checks tickets, and then a young girl approaches:

— Your ticket.

— You know, I'm leaving on the next stop ...

A man grabs a girl and throws her out of the train, the girl falls and dies.

Again the court, the death sentence. Before the execution, the electric chair is checked several times - it works fine. They put the man down.

— Your last wish.

— You know, I really want to eat a banana.

A man eats a banana brought to him.

The leader of the execution turns on the electricity - the man does not die. Turns it on again and it doesn't work. Once again, it's all to no use. The man is getting released once again. One of the guards comes up to the him and quietly asks:

“Look, I won’t tell anyone, but I’m still very interested. Tell me why, after eating a banana, you are not afraid of the electric chair?"

— I have loved bananas since childhood. Why I am not dying? I don't know.

Maybe I'm just a bad conductor?

Those were Goodyears

This whole time I took them for granite.

Especially since they probably have the same names...

That pretty much sums up the 90s

Mega-sore-ass

(a chuckler from my childhood, not sure if it's appropriate anymore!)

Those were the ‘goodyears.’

Those were Goodyears...

Those were Goodyears.

I had a great childhood. Dad used to roll me down the hills in tires. Those were good years.

My dad, being as he was, used to roll me down the hill in tires. Those were goodyears

Until, my mum took the urn from me.

Until my mother took the urn from me.

Those were goodyears

They were the Goodyears

Those were the Good Years.

those were goodyears!!!!