Chess Pun

Did it ever occur to Magnus Carlsen that he could be eliminated from his own chess tournament?

Norway!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/freewillson
πŸ“…︎ May 30
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Chess pun
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Diamondsttv
πŸ“…︎ Aug 06 2019
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[request] chess puns
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Backs_People_Up
πŸ“…︎ Sep 11 2017
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Netcob
πŸ“…︎ Jan 14 2010
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I play Chess regularly with my friend, but last time he suddenly said " let's make this interesting "...

..so we stopped and went home.

πŸ‘︎ 5k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/HugoZHackenbush2
πŸ“…︎ Aug 04
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Not to brag, but I defeated our local chess champion in less than 5 moves.

Finally my high school karate lessons came to some use.

πŸ‘︎ 548
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jul 29
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A wife came home and finds her husband sitting in front of a game of chess....

...with a raw egg propped up on the other side.

She asks: "What are you doing?"

He responds: "Well this pancake recipe says I need one beaten egg..."

"So... you decided to play it in a chess game?"

"Well yeah, but the darn egg keeps winning!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/abucket87
πŸ“…︎ Jul 15
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Why do chess players have so many kids?

They are always mating

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πŸ‘€︎ u/KenzoEngineer
πŸ“…︎ Jul 20
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Did you hear about the Slovak chess player who finaly found a wife?

She was his czechmate.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/tekprojekt
πŸ“…︎ Aug 05
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Why did the lonely chess player go to Czechoslovakia?

Because he wanted a Czech mate!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/sweet_chick283
πŸ“…︎ Jul 07
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I sold my friend a chess set and then he asked me if all the pieces were with it.

I told him to checkmate.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/FightBackFitness
πŸ“…︎ Aug 05
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What did the Australian chess player say after he finished his meal?

"Can I have the check, mate?"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Desunator
πŸ“…︎ Jul 22
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The King gathered all the chess pieces around to tell a bedtime story. He said...

"Once a pawn a time..."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Sir_Pluses
πŸ“…︎ Jun 22
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A man from Prague and his friend were playing chess at a restaurant when an Australian waiter interrupts their game. The waiter says, "have a check, mate. Your Czech mate is about to be in checkmate... oh, and here's the cheque, mate."
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Repluse
πŸ“…︎ May 31
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I played my dad in chess yesterday.

He didn't think he would win, but he just wanted to check.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Macricecheese
πŸ“…︎ Apr 23
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Not to brag, but I beat the local chess champion in less than 5 moves yesterday.

Finally my high school karate lessons came of some use.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ May 01
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My best friend lives in Prague and is a real chess enthusiast.

I call him my Czech mate.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/zedhead0628
πŸ“…︎ May 22
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I have a European friend that I play chess with.

He’s my Czech-mate

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Zeblout_72
πŸ“…︎ May 23
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Why did the USA lose the chess match?

Because they already lost two towers.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/amplifucked
πŸ“…︎ Jun 16
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The worst place to buy a chess set you ask?

The pawn shop

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πŸ‘€︎ u/CliffordTheDragon
πŸ“…︎ May 01
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I have a European friend who I play chess with

... Or as I like to call him, my Czech mate

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πŸ‘€︎ u/DubcekD
πŸ“…︎ May 21
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Just beat my bohemian friend at chess

check mate my czech mate

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Altshadez1998
πŸ“…︎ May 07
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Bought my son a chess board for a present...

He's gifted

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πŸ‘€︎ u/dubaidadjokes
πŸ“…︎ Apr 21
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Why are the English great at chess?

Because the queen never dies.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Sanguineyote
πŸ“…︎ Apr 05
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What do you call a group of chess players talking about their wins in the lobby of their hotel?

Chess nuts boasting in an open foyer

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πŸ“…︎ Dec 13 2019
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Which part of the brain is used to play chess?

The pons

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πŸ‘€︎ u/getuplast
πŸ“…︎ Mar 21
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Once I decided to visit my old friend who is a world chess champion just to see how he's doing. This is how I became the next champion.

All I did is "check mate".

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πŸ‘€︎ u/LuneFox
πŸ“…︎ Feb 17
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What do you call a bunch of Chess players bragging about their games in the hotel lobby?

Chess nuts boasting on an open foyer.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/oxfordthethird
πŸ“…︎ Dec 29 2019
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Playing chess in a restaurant in Australia must be confusing.

Check, mate.

Checkmate.

Can I get the check, mate?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/RonPalancik
πŸ“…︎ Nov 04 2019
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I met some chess players in the hotel lobby. They were bragging about how good they are.

It was Chess nuts boasting in an open foyer.

πŸ‘︎ 12k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Mar 29 2018
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A friend and I went into business selling chess sets. During Christmas, we have to both work and ring people up at the register...

She's my check mate.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Dec 03 2019
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Never play chess with an Australian

You'll never know if "you're in check, mate" or if "you're in checkmate"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/danlehavj
πŸ“…︎ Sep 08 2019
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An Australian chess player went into a restaurant and ordered food. After having his food , the waiter asked him "Cash or Credit , Sir?"

He said "Cheque , mate"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/PanPitza
πŸ“…︎ Oct 22 2019
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I recently overheard two chess enthusiasts in a hotel lobby. They were bragging about their previous victories

They were chess nuts boasting in an open foyer.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/knittingmonster
πŸ“…︎ Jun 29 2019
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Not to brag, but yesterday I beat the state chess champion in less than five moves.

Finally my high school karate lessons came to some use.

πŸ‘︎ 5k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ May 11 2018
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Bob Seger was once playing Chess

That's when he noticed, "Ain't it funny how the knight moves?"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/xwhy
πŸ“…︎ Nov 02 2019
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I tried to challenge Death to a pillowfight instead of a chess game

But I was unable to handle the reaper cushions.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/qmechan
πŸ“…︎ Jul 26 2019
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A computer once beat me at chess...

...but it was no match for me at kickboxing.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/InkFoxPrints
πŸ“…︎ Sep 22 2019
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Australian chess players would have difficulty playing chess because it'd be very confusing to figure out if it's a check mate or a checkmate.

Posted this on Showerthoughts thought It'd be more appropriate here.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/sangeemangee
πŸ“…︎ Aug 01 2019
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A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories.

After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. ''But why?'' they asked, as they moved off. ''because,'' he said ''I can't stand chess nuts boasting in an open foyer.''

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πŸ‘€︎ u/jpatil1982
πŸ“…︎ Jul 15 2019
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What do chess players from the Czech Republic call their friends?

Czech-mates

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Mon0_95
πŸ“…︎ Aug 28 2019
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How do You Beat a Slav at Chess?

You get them in Czech-mate

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πŸ‘€︎ u/MrBrowserMan
πŸ“…︎ Jun 13 2019
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I saw a crowd of chess enthusiasts talking about how good they were when I was going into the theatre...

.... they were chess nuts boasting in an open foyer.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/cwwspurs
πŸ“…︎ Aug 07 2019
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What is the favorite chess move of ants with bladder problems?

En pissant

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πŸ‘€︎ u/alkazar82
πŸ“…︎ Sep 23 2019
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What do Australian waiters, basketball players, and chess players have in common?

"Check mate"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/The14thGender
πŸ“…︎ May 19 2019
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What did one pirate say to the other when he beat him in chess.

Check matey!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ShuffleJerk
πŸ“…︎ Aug 06 2019
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My last chess game went a bit medieval.

We both went for the castle.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/PapaStalinSP
πŸ“…︎ Aug 12 2019
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I saw two chess masters in a hotel lobby they were bragging about past wins...

... I guess you could say that they were chessnuts boasting on an open foyer.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Wolfie979
πŸ“…︎ Jun 24 2019
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I don't know where i put my queen after the last chess game

Maybe it's lost i need to check

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πŸ‘€︎ u/PapaStalinSP
πŸ“…︎ Aug 12 2019
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What’s similarity between playing a chess and having a dinner in Australian restaurant?

They both end with β€œCheckmate”.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/CptSlimShady
πŸ“…︎ Jan 21 2019
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So, I ate this chess set. It was horrible. I took it back to the shop.

I said "This is stale, mate." He said "Are you sure?" I said "Check, mate".

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Swarv3
πŸ“…︎ Apr 08 2019
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What do you call a girl who's very good at human chess and checkers?

Ingrid.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/spar_wors
πŸ“…︎ Apr 16 2019
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Towards the end of December, I saw Bobby Fischer and Gary Kasparov in a hotel lobby, both saying they were the better chess player.

That's the best thing about Christmas - chess nuts boasting on an open foyer.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/AlRedux
πŸ“…︎ Jul 18 2019
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I like playing chess with old people in the park...

But it's kind of hard to find 32 of them.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Shasnas69
πŸ“…︎ Apr 21 2019
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Why is going to an Australian restaurant like playing chess?

Because at the end you have to say β€œcheck mate”.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Stoutgut
πŸ“…︎ May 12 2019
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What did the Australian chess champion say to his waitor when he was finished with his lunch?

Checkmate.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/DJOK9R
πŸ“…︎ Jun 14 2019
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My Australian friend and I were playing chess while talking about which European country we should travel to

He said "Czech mate"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/RealComradeMeep
πŸ“…︎ May 04 2019
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I've recently got a job making chess pieces.

I'm currently working knights.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/fatandsalt
πŸ“…︎ Oct 13 2018
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Playing chess with an Australian would suck. β€œCheck, mate”

No it isn’t...

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πŸ‘€︎ u/shrimpysnow
πŸ“…︎ Jul 15 2019
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How are playing chess and eating in an Australian restaurant similar?

They both end with checkmate!

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πŸ“…︎ May 25 2019
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So I was in a hostel playing chess with a European guy when an Aussie comes up and says...

"There's no way you'll win."

"Why?"

"Because he's Czech, mate."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Caledonius
πŸ“…︎ Apr 24 2019
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Had to return my chocolate chess set to Thornton's

Me: I demand a refund!

Assistant: what's wrong with it?

Me: It's stale mate.

Assistant: Surely not?

Me: Check mate.

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πŸ“…︎ May 08 2019
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Which one of your mates is the best at chess?

The Czech mate.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/GrayingMantis
πŸ“…︎ Oct 05 2016
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What did the Australian Chess player say about the mouldy bread?

Stalemate

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πŸ‘€︎ u/SoloKnightNJO
πŸ“…︎ May 24 2019
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Why do so few women play chess?

According to the rules the queen protects the king.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/notseefun
πŸ“…︎ Jun 07 2019
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Arguing with an idiot is like playing chess with a chicken...

Edit: No matter how good you are at chess the chicken is just going to knock over the pieces and poop on the board.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Timmyp79
πŸ“…︎ Jun 03 2019
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Parenting is like playing chess.

I don't know how to play chess.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Megaseth
πŸ“…︎ Feb 26 2019
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What are you likely to here at both an Australian Restaurant and a game of chess

Check mate...

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πŸ‘€︎ u/FoxRabbitnHill
πŸ“…︎ Mar 20 2019
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So my friend and I've been watching two elderly men playing chess in the park

But the two elderly men were speaking a foreign language.

After a few minutes of silently watching them, my friend finally asks me: "Is that Russian?"

"No," I replied, "it's Czech, Mate."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/adriator
πŸ“…︎ Feb 08 2019
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I saw two gentlemen playing chess in the hotel lobby talkong avout past wins

They were Chess Nuts Boasting in an open foyer

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Dabugsta99
πŸ“…︎ Mar 12 2019
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What does an Australian chess player say when he finishes his meal?

Check, mate!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/batnuna
πŸ“…︎ Jan 06 2019
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I play chess online with a guy that lives in a small land-locked country in Central Europe.

He’s my Czech-mate.

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πŸ“…︎ Jun 12 2018
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What did the Aussie say to the waiter after winning his chess match?

Check mate!

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πŸ“…︎ Feb 09 2019
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Did you know that Bob Seger learned to play chess under Bobby Fischer?

He learned pretty quick, but he's still working on his knight moves.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ClosetBronydom
πŸ“…︎ Feb 28 2019
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I was playing chess with my son and he said, "Let’s make this interesting!"

So we stopped playing chess...

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πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ Nov 01 2017
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What did the Australian bartender tell the Chess player in the end?

Check-mate

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πŸ‘€︎ u/9fmaverick
πŸ“…︎ Mar 01 2019
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I was playing chess with the Mafia once...

It turns out, i was his pawn... then he got the king pin

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/bdatty
πŸ“…︎ Feb 05 2019
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Why are people from the Czech Republic bad at chess?

Because they are czech-made

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/inFamouZ007
πŸ“…︎ Jan 19 2019
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I was watching my friends in the endgame of a chess match

I told them β€œI hope this doesn’t turn out like Rigor Mortis of an Australian friend.”

β€œWhat?”

β€œI hope this isn’t a stale mate.”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/pyredox
πŸ“…︎ Jan 20 2019
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I went on a date with a Chess World Champion the other night.

It took her about 10 minutes to pass the salt.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/_somnambulist_
πŸ“…︎ Sep 03 2018
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Life is like a game of chess

I don’t know how to play it

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πŸ“…︎ Oct 11 2018
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Why do Australians have such a hard time playing chess?

They can't tell the difference between "Checkmate" and "Check, mate".

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Protoss_Pylon
πŸ“…︎ May 25 2018
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In chess when moving the horse

You always take an L

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πŸ‘€︎ u/JakobH_
πŸ“…︎ Jan 06 2019
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My childhood was like a game of chess.

My dad always beat me.

(This fits here right? I mean it is a joke about dad)

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πŸ‘€︎ u/_Satern_
πŸ“…︎ Dec 06 2018
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When I first started playing chess, I thought the castle could move diagonally.

Classic rook-y mistake.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/keithasaurus
πŸ“…︎ Sep 22 2018
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I was watching a chess champion vs a boxing champion match.

The chess player had a mean right rook!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/HWPDxEAGLE954x
πŸ“…︎ May 25 2018
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I saw two chess masters in the hotel lobby, and they were bragging about their skill.

They were chess nuts boasting in a open foyer.

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/KitonePeach
πŸ“…︎ Jul 30 2018
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How does an Australian chess player ask for the bill?

Check mate!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/_BlNG_
πŸ“…︎ Jun 28 2018
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My exotic bird challenged me to a game of chess

I told him, "Toucan play at that game."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/natebrennan
πŸ“…︎ Oct 14 2018
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What do you call a group of chess players bragging about their wins in a hotel lobby?

Chess nuts boasting in an open foyer

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/b62316
πŸ“…︎ Dec 20 2019
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Not to brag, but I beat the state chess champion in less than 5 moves.

Finally my high school karate lessons came to some use.

πŸ‘︎ 115
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jul 23 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call a group of chess players bragging about how they won in a hotel lobby?

Chess nuts boasting in an open foyer!

πŸ‘︎ 16
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πŸ‘€︎ u/B-man44
πŸ“…︎ Aug 17 2019
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A computer once beat me at chess. But it was no match for me at kickboxing
πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/cancervixen831
πŸ“…︎ Aug 31 2019
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What do you call a crowd of chess players bragging about their wins in a hotel lobby?

Chess nuts boasting in an open foyer.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/dohpaz42
πŸ“…︎ Jul 27 2019
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Ive recently got a job making chess pieces

I'm currently working knights

πŸ‘︎ 107
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DaveyJonesy1990
πŸ“…︎ Aug 02 2018
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What do you call a bunch of chess players discussing their games in a hotel lobby?

Chess nuts boasting in an open foyer...

πŸ‘︎ 22
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πŸ‘€︎ u/palpameme_66
πŸ“…︎ Dec 25 2018
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