Tomorrow's my biology practical exam and I don't know how to chemically test for glucose

I'm so gonna be Fehling the test

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/killercatto
πŸ“…︎ Sep 30 2018
🚨︎ report
You'll get a reaction out of this....

Anyone who makes a pun about iron should pay a periodic Fe, I would stop now but that'd be Nobel of me, HeHeHe. Be sure to take a deep breath before you say "NO". At this point you might thinking we should get Iridium of this guy in rl too. I'll eventually run out of chemical puns, right? Na, which might be your mood coincidentally. This guy must be a fake as Silicone, he got this from somewhere to which I reply, Si, senor! I Cu calling for the coppers, but any "Bro" of mine wouldn't. Don't worry, the best ones Argon by now. Au reading this! This winding list is surely golden by now, right?

As we close this out, allow me to echo your thoughts one last time, Fr y'all.

"F"In"Al"Y"

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Vadea_Shepard
πŸ“…︎ Aug 21 2020
🚨︎ report
What's a weeaboo's favorite chemical element?

Manganese

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Mar 03 2021
🚨︎ report
How do you tell the difference between a chemical fire and an electrical fire?

With a fire distinguisher.

πŸ‘︎ 36
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Jan 20 2021
🚨︎ report
We tried catching the chemical thieves...

... but they were just too phosphorus.

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MyLatestInvention
πŸ“…︎ Feb 10 2021
🚨︎ report
I worked security at a chemical plant. There had been a string of robberies at nearby chemical plants, and one night... lo and behold- we heard the alarm...

My coworker and I tried to apprehend them but they were just too phosphorus…

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MyLatestInvention
πŸ“…︎ Feb 04 2021
🚨︎ report
I never understood odorless chemicals, they never make scents.
πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/kickypie
πŸ“…︎ Sep 27 2020
🚨︎ report
disband
πŸ‘︎ 2k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/bitchyswiftie
πŸ“…︎ Dec 19 2020
🚨︎ report
What chemical element is symbolized by the letters Ah?

The element of surprise!

πŸ‘︎ 335
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Pandagami
πŸ“…︎ May 07 2020
🚨︎ report
What's common between a GIRL and HITLER..?

Both removed POLISH with chemicals

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Mar 16 2021
🚨︎ report
What do you call the chemical bond in minerals?

A gems bond

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Zetafunction64
πŸ“…︎ Aug 18 2020
🚨︎ report
Why do elements and chemicals make good real estate agents?

They have a lot of properties.

πŸ‘︎ 21
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πŸ‘€︎ u/no-nope-nay
πŸ“…︎ Jun 23 2020
🚨︎ report
A chemical warehouse was robbed at gunpoint, the assailants cleaned out all stores of substances with pH above 7.

"All your base are belong to us"

πŸ‘︎ 118
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πŸ‘€︎ u/HiddenLayer5
πŸ“…︎ Dec 10 2019
🚨︎ report
What is pirate's favorite chemical element?

Arrr-yon!

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Apr 19 2020
🚨︎ report
What common chemical compound can be represented: H, I, J, K, L, M, N, O

H2O

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Ttocs77
πŸ“…︎ Feb 29 2020
🚨︎ report
Did you know that the chemical composition of snow changes from "H2O" to "Ba" when it covers your car?

Because it barium

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Sarah_Haze
πŸ“…︎ Feb 09 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call an iron deficient female?

A male

πŸ‘︎ 71
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Ahad0
πŸ“…︎ Dec 07 2020
🚨︎ report
A chemical in science class can make your hands go numb

But math will make you number.

πŸ‘︎ 22
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Calthropstu
πŸ“…︎ Dec 07 2019
🚨︎ report
Do you want to hear a chemical joke?

Na

πŸ‘︎ 15
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Lord_Harkonan
πŸ“…︎ Sep 25 2019
🚨︎ report
My friends tried to convince me I was a chemical element with the atomic number 82....

...Thankfully, I'm not so easily lead

πŸ‘︎ 58
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πŸ‘€︎ u/marmeladovsemyon
πŸ“…︎ Sep 10 2019
🚨︎ report
We will never run out of puns now!

A giant list of puns

What do you call a fake noodle? An Impasta.

I would avoid the sushi if I was you. It’s a little fishy.

Want to hear a joke about paper? Nevermind it’s tearable.

Why did the cookie cry? Because his father was a wafer so long!

I used to work in a shoe recycling shop. It was sole destroying.

What do you call a belt with a watch on it? A waist of time.

How do you organize an outer space party? You planet.

I went to a seafood disco last week... and pulled a mussel.

Do you know where you can get chicken broth in bulk? The stock market.

I cut my finger chopping cheese, but I think that I may have greater problems.

My cat was just sick on the carpet, I don’t think it’s feline well.

Why did the octopus beat the shark in a fight? Because it was well armed.

How much does a hipster weigh? An instagram.

What did daddy spider say to baby spider? You spend too much time on the web.

Atheism is a non-prophet organisation.

There’s a new type of broom out, it’s sweeping the nation.

What cheese can never be yours? Nacho cheese.

What did the Buffalo say to his little boy when he dropped him off at school? Bison.

Have you ever heard of a music group called Cellophane? They mostly wrap.

Why does Superman gets invited to dinners? Because he is a Supperhero.

How was Rome split in two? With a pair of Ceasars.

The shovel was a ground breaking invention.

A scarecrow says, "This job isn't for everyone, but hay, it's in my jeans."

A Buddhist walks up to a hot dog stand and says, "Make me one with everything."

Did you hear about the guy who lost the left side of his body? He's alright now.

What do you call a girl with one leg that's shorter than the other? Ilene.

I did a theatrical performance on puns. It was a play on words.

What do you do with a dead chemist? You barium.

I bet the person who created the door knocker won a Nobel prize.

Towels can’t tell jokes. They have a dry sense of humor.

Two birds are sitting on a perch and one says "Do you smell fish?"

Do you know sign language? You should learn it, it’s pretty handy.

What do you call a beautiful pumpkin? GOURDgeous.

Why did one banana spy on the other? Because she was appealing.

What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.

What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef.

What do you call a cow with all of its legs? High steaks.

A cross eyed teacher couldn’t control his pupils.

After the accident, the juggler didn’t have the balls to do it.

I used to be afraid of hu

... keep reading on reddit ➑

πŸ‘︎ 20
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πŸ‘€︎ u/communist_scumbag
πŸ“…︎ Nov 26 2020
🚨︎ report
What's the chemical formula for laughing gas?

CaCl

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Bread_Is_Adequate
πŸ“…︎ Dec 08 2019
🚨︎ report
The chemical symbol for Iron is Fe...

... and therefore Iron Man is a Fe Male
Happy International women's day

πŸ‘︎ 81
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheBassMeister
πŸ“…︎ Mar 08 2018
🚨︎ report
Just started listening to a podcast hosted by two chemical engineers.

Most of what they say goes over my head, but they gave great chemistry.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Chukwa_2
πŸ“…︎ Nov 07 2019
🚨︎ report
Me: Yo bro, can you tell me the chemical symbols for sodium, bromine and oxygen?

Friend: NaBrO

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/benjaminear3
πŸ“…︎ Nov 23 2019
🚨︎ report
My son was doing his homework, when he asked me, β€œDad, what's the chemical formula for water?”

I said, β€œHIJKLMNO.”

He asked, β€œWhat're you talking about?!”

I responded, β€œWell, it’s H to O!”

πŸ‘︎ 343
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πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ Nov 14 2017
🚨︎ report
Which chemical liquid would destroy bacteria in a rap battle?

Dissingfectant

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Suss-it-out
πŸ“…︎ Sep 21 2019
🚨︎ report
if H2O is the chemical name for water, what is H2O4?

drinking!

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/gumbywithaY
πŸ“…︎ Jun 08 2019
🚨︎ report
How come when women use chemicals to remove polish no one bats an eye

But when hitler does it the whole world is against him?

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/WattoNUFC
πŸ“…︎ Apr 27 2019
🚨︎ report
The 5 stages of butter
πŸ‘︎ 5k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thinkingamer
πŸ“…︎ Sep 16 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call parasites who suck chemicals?

Bleeches

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Eisenhower_is_dad
πŸ“…︎ Jun 02 2019
🚨︎ report
What is a Blood's least favorite chemical?

Krypton.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Saor7272
πŸ“…︎ Mar 08 2019
🚨︎ report
Mean chemicals
πŸ‘︎ 24
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Poo-tay-toh
πŸ“…︎ Aug 20 2018
🚨︎ report
Life Hack: If you play My Chemical Romance loud enough in your yard...

your grass will cut itself.

πŸ‘︎ 209
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πŸ‘€︎ u/hann1980
πŸ“…︎ Feb 21 2018
🚨︎ report
What do you call a chemical bond with bad connotation to it?

A stigma bond.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/WhooooshCatcher
πŸ“…︎ Apr 29 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call a candy bar that speeds up a chemical reaction?

Kit Katalyst

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ“…︎ Jan 17 2019
🚨︎ report
Sometimes in old insulation there can be toxic chemicals.

You should avoid them asbestos you can.

πŸ‘︎ 17
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DarthElevator
πŸ“…︎ Aug 13 2018
🚨︎ report
Scientists have discovered an element with chemical properties that can't be predicted.

They're calling it the element of surprise.

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/sric2838
πŸ“…︎ Jan 05 2019
🚨︎ report
The happiness chemical is the coolest one...

Or as the kids say, "dope I mean..."

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Lv_InSaNe_vL
πŸ“…︎ Dec 29 2018
🚨︎ report
The hairdresser showed me a beautiful hair color and also warned me that the chemical is toxic.

I asked him to apply it anyways.

It's worth dyeing for.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/sodomicity
πŸ“…︎ Jan 25 2019
🚨︎ report
Is Belgium a chemical element?
πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Solilupus
πŸ“…︎ Jun 13 2020
🚨︎ report
I never understood odourless chemicals

they never make scents.

πŸ‘︎ 27
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/rickmartingt
πŸ“…︎ Oct 29 2019
🚨︎ report
A giant list of puns from r/copypasta

A giant list of puns

What do you call a fake noodle? An Impasta.

I would avoid the sushi if I was you. It’s a little fishy.

Want to hear a joke about paper? Nevermind it’s tearable.

Why did the cookie cry? Because his father was a wafer so long!

I used to work in a shoe recycling shop. It was sole destroying.

What do you call a belt with a watch on it? A waist of time.

How do you organize an outer space party? You planet.

I went to a seafood disco last week... and pulled a mussel.

Do you know where you can get chicken broth in bulk? The stock market.

I cut my finger chopping cheese, but I think that I may have greater problems.

My cat was just sick on the carpet, I don’t think it’s feline well.

Why did the octopus beat the shark in a fight? Because it was well armed.

How much does a hipster weigh? An instagram.

What did daddy spider say to baby spider? You spend too much time on the web.

Atheism is a non-prophet organisation.

There’s a new type of broom out, it’s sweeping the nation.

What cheese can never be yours? Nacho cheese.

What did the Buffalo say to his little boy when he dropped him off at school? Bison.

Have you ever heard of a music group called Cellophane? They mostly wrap.

Why does Superman gets invited to dinners? Because he is a Supperhero.

How was Rome split in two? With a pair of Ceasars.

The shovel was a ground breaking invention.

A scarecrow says, "This job isn't for everyone, but hay, it's in my jeans."

A Buddhist walks up to a hot dog stand and says, "Make me one with everything."

Did you hear about the guy who lost the left side of his body? He's alright now.

What do you call a girl with one leg that's shorter than the other? Ilene.

I did a theatrical performance on puns. It was a play on words.

What do you do with a dead chemist? You barium.

I bet the person who created the door knocker won a Nobel prize.

Towels can’t tell jokes. They have a dry sense of humor.

Two birds are sitting on a perch and one says "Do you smell fish?"

Do you know sign language? You should learn it, it’s pretty handy.

What do you call a beautiful pumpkin? GOURDgeous.

Why did one banana spy on the other? Because she was appealing.

What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.

What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef.

What do you call a cow with all of its legs? High steaks.

A cross eyed teacher couldn’t control his pupils.

After the accident, the juggler didn’t have the balls to do it.

I used to be afraid of hu

... keep reading on reddit ➑

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Nov 26 2020
🚨︎ report
I work with chemicals.

Actually I spend some time with them outside of work.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/thisboishere
πŸ“…︎ Apr 13 2019
🚨︎ report

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