The scent of freshly sliced lemons permeates the air of the Bogota business suite. The staff was informed of the personal preferences of Julian Checkley a week in advance and had his favorite lunch, a crab cake sandwich and kettle chips, prepared as the fan fiction expert and world record holder was set to arrive at any moment.
Juan Carlos del Rosario, President of Colombia, sat at an oak conference table and browsed the dossier he brought with him for the meeting. A secretary tapped at the the door.
^^rap ^^rap
She opens the door slightly and stands in the doorway
>Mr. Checkley's car is in the parking lot, Mr. President.
Juan Carlos looks at her with a look of incredulity.
>Graci, Seniora Gordon. Please escort him to the office when he arrives.
>and Seniora Gordon.
>Please dont allow that door to open without my permission again. Its could be very unnerving to my guest.
Barbara Gordon's cheeks turn red as she turns to leave.
>Oh, of course. I'm so sorry si-
>Senoira Gordon! Relax.
. . .
>Compose yourself and then go and fetch Mr. Checkley, okay.
She nods her her head and leaves the room. She returns in a few moments with Julian Checkley.
>So I'm sure you are curious about why I have requested your presence.
>You created a suit that set world records. I would like to offer you a job recreating that suit. But this time, it will be combat ready. You will work with military engineers and other experts in your field, but you will be at the lead of this project.
>This position is top secret and comes with a $200,000 salary on top of a $35,000 signing bonus.
Who is Checkley Sin Kwok-Lamb? He is the film producer / Action Director of the well known Ip Man movies. He is has taught kung fu to well known actors such as Donnie Yen, Sammo Hung and Dennis To and Anthony Wong Chau Sang. One of Lau Kar Leung indoor disciples. Teaches Wing Chun in Hong Kong. Vice Chairman of the World Wing Chun Union.
When: November 16th & 17th, 2013 (Sat & Sun) 11:00 p.m. – 6:00 p.m. Where: Arch 197* Prebend Gardens Chiswick London W6 0XT
Cost: £55/ person for 2 days and £30 for 1 day
Register: info@chinesekungfu.co.uk
I don't want to step on anybody's toes here, but the amount of non-dad jokes here in this subreddit really annoys me. First of all, dad jokes CAN be NSFW, it clearly says so in the sub rules. Secondly, it doesn't automatically make it a dad joke if it's from a conversation between you and your child. Most importantly, the jokes that your CHILDREN tell YOU are not dad jokes. The point of a dad joke is that it's so cheesy only a dad who's trying to be funny would make such a joke. That's it. They are stupid plays on words, lame puns and so on. There has to be a clever pun or wordplay for it to be considered a dad joke.
Again, to all the fellow dads, I apologise if I'm sounding too harsh. But I just needed to get it off my chest.
The nurse asked the rabbit, “what is your blood type?”
“I am probably a type O” said the rabbit.
The doctor says it terminal.
Alot of great jokes get posted here! However just because you have a joke, doesn't mean it's a dad joke.
THIS IS NOT ABOUT NSFW, THIS IS ABOUT LONG JOKES, BLONDE JOKES, SEXUAL JOKES, KNOCK KNOCK JOKES, POLITICAL JOKES, ETC BEING POSTED IN A DAD JOKE SUB
Try telling these sexual jokes that get posted here, to your kid and see how your spouse likes it.. if that goes well, Try telling one of your friends kid about your sex life being like Coca cola, first it was normal, than light and now zero , and see if the parents are OK with you telling their kid the "dad joke"
I'm not even referencing the NSFW, I'm saying Dad jokes are corny, and sometimes painful, not sexual
So check out r/jokes for all types of jokes
r/unclejokes for dirty jokes
r/3amjokes for real weird and alot of OC
r/cleandadjokes If your really sick of seeing not dad jokes in r/dadjokes
Punchline !
Edit: this is not a post about NSFW , This is about jokes, knock knock jokes, blonde jokes, political jokes etc being posted in a dad joke sub
Edit 2: don't touch the thermostat
Do your worst!
How the hell am I suppose to know when it’s raining in Sweden?
We told her she can lean on us for support. Although, we are going to have to change her driver's license, her height is going down by a foot. I don't want to go too far out on a limb here but it better not be a hack job.
Ants don’t even have the concept fathers, let alone a good dad joke. Keep r/ants out of my r/dadjokes.
But no, seriously. I understand rule 7 is great to have intelligent discussion, but sometimes it feels like 1 in 10 posts here is someone getting upset about the jokes on this sub. Let the mods deal with it, they regulate the sub.
I'm surprised it hasn't decade.
They were cooked in Greece.
He lost May
Now that I listen to albums, I hardly ever leave the house.
Two muffins are in an oven, one muffin looks at the other and says "is it just me, or is it hot in here?"
Then the other muffin says "AHH, TALKING MUFFIN!!!"
Don't you know a good pun is its own reword?
For context I'm a Refuse Driver (Garbage man) & today I was on food waste. After I'd tipped I was checking the wagon for any defects when I spotted a lone pea balanced on the lifts.
I said "hey look, an escaPEA"
No one near me but it didn't half make me laugh for a good hour or so!
Edit: I can't believe how much this has blown up. Thank you everyone I've had a blast reading through the replies 😂
Said if she ever hosts a gender reveal party, when it comes time to pop the balloon she'll spray everyone with water.
Gender is fluid.
It really does, I swear!
And now I’m cannelloni
Because she wanted to see the task manager.
But that’s comparing apples to oranges
And boy are my arms legs.
Put it on my bill
Amy
Heard they've been doing some shady business.
but then I remembered it was ground this morning.
Edit: Thank you guys for the awards, they're much nicer than the cardboard sleeve I've been using and reassures me that my jokes aren't stale
Edit 2: I have already been made aware that Men In Black 3 has told a version of this joke before. If the joke is not new to you, please enjoy any of the single origin puns in the comments
