He made a lovely job of the landing.
Background: My family was at the lake today. The lake was a little choppy today so when we went on the boat we hit one really big wave where the front end of the boat came crashing down hard. My nephew (7) just happened to be sitting on a cup holder and it hurt his butt when we landed.
We got back to the house and my nephew said...
Nephew: my butt hurts. I think its broken.
Me: did I ever tell you about the time I broke my butt?
Nephew: no. Is it still broken?
Me: yeah. There’s a big crack in it still.
He didn’t get it. But all the other adults laughed/rolled their eyes. Stupid joke I know, but I don’t care.
I can’t think of any atm.
He gave me counter fit money.
I made many many many many many money drawings.
In the end he was just throwing money down the drain.
The Czech Republic
Wouldn't that be 'money laundering'?
When he got there, a woman extended her hand.
"Good afternoon, sir," she said. "My name is Patricia Wack. How may I help you today?"
Kermit replied, "Hi-ho, Patricia! I'm Kermit the Frog, and I would like to borrow some money."
They walked over to her desk and sat down.
"Certainly, Mr. Frog--"
"Oh, just call me Kermit."
"Okay... Kermit. How much money would you like to borrow?"
"Ten thousand dollars."
Mildly surprised, Ms. Wack looked intently at Kermit.
"Do you have any references?"
"Well, I suppose I could use my father, Keith Richards."
Ms. Wack froze for a second, then...
"THE Keith Richards?"
"Oh, yes. In fact, he told me he's friends with your manager, which is why I came in here."
"Okay... Do you have any collateral?"
"Excuse me?"
"Collateral. Something of value, like a car, or a boat..."
"Oh, yes! I do have something. I have this."
Kermit reached into his briefcase and placed a small figurine on the desk. Patricia looked curiously at the object, then at our amphibious friend.
"What's this?"
"It's a Hummel."
"A what?"
"A Hummel. They're supposed to be quite valuable. Well, at least this one is to me."
She picked up the Hummel and stood up.
"If you don't mind, I would like to show this to the manager."
"Oh, no! I don't mind at all!"
So, Patricia took the Hummel to the manager's office, knocked on the door, and walked inside.
"Patricia! What can I do for you?"
"Mr. Wilson, there's this... frog named Kermit at my desk, and he wants to borrow $10,000, but he has only this for collateral."
Mr. Wilson looked at the Hummel, then out to her desk.
"I don't see anything out of order here."
"But, Mr. Wilson--"
"Look, it's a knick-knack, Patty Wack. Give the frog a loan. His old man's a Rolling Stone."
I just can't think of one atm
What a half-baked attempt at making dough.
Because they sell themselves short.
He said "Cheque , mate"
It says press 1 for the money or 2 for the show
Pay Alimony.
For the love of God, don't let Kevin Bacon pass away
Just in case
The celery was unacceptable.
I guess his story didn't check out
I asked her
Did you just assume my tender?
Because it is H-2-Dough
She commented, "that's an odd amount." I told her for being a math honors student, I would think she'd recognize that 46 is an even number.
She rated my comment a 6 out of 10 on the Dad joke scale.
Such a waist of time!
Neither, he used PrayPal
But I can't think of one ATM.
I'd like to welcome you to the cheque republic!
Man: "But I just put these clothes on this morning"
It'll be called Soup or Hero.
I wanted to make a change
I am afraid that i'll get caught for money laundering.I dont know how to stop having this punitive thought.
The Czech Republic.
It folded.
They’ll just wire you the funds.
He milked it for everything it was worth.
Turns out, he had laundered the money
Guest: "What's your secret?"
Cash: "We go in the yard"
https://imgur.com/a/QDA0hRE
He said, "Sorry, I only take cryptocurrency."
They all use Czechs.
He takes the bill, holds it up to the light, and asks the cashier if it looks alright because he just printed it this morning.
I thought "I'll take that with a grain of salt."
Folsom Prism Blues
I guess George Lucas wasn't a fan of "Ewok the Line."
Me: Baby you know you're a criminal now? Her: What? Why? Me: For money laundering...
Her: Go make sure the door is locked
Just to watch him dye.
I wouldn't want to get arrested for money laundering.
The man in black fled across the desert, and the Gunslinger followed
Because they have a lot of Czechs
It cost me an arm and a leg.
No, you have to charge it.
and I notice these big 200 pack containers of Tic Tacs, so I point them out to my dad and say "look, that is intense."
And my dad says back, "That's not intense, that's on a shelf!"
http://i.imgur.com/Qf7Klmi.jpg
x-post from funny.
I hope I don't get in trouble for money laundering
https://scontent-b.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-prn2/q82/s720x720/1461215_562850550456577_1918780076_n.jpg
his reply: i'm so poor i can't pay attention
Brilliant joke from my cracker, have banked it for next year!
Q: what country is the only one to not accept cash?
A:The Czech Republic!
It says press 1 for the money or 2 for the show.
I just can't think of one ATM
