Carolina Reaper is one of the spiciest peppers in the world. But they are not scary.

For the wise men once said: Don't fear the Reaper

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ‘€︎ u/Rpdaca
πŸ“…︎ Sep 24 2020
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My dad asked if I wanted to go to North Carolina.

I said not Raleigh.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ‘€︎ u/NINJAQKk
πŸ“…︎ Sep 01 2019
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North Carolina Girl Loses Left Arm to Shark Attack...
πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ‘€︎ u/stevetehpirate
πŸ“…︎ Jun 15 2015
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Dad dropped this one the morning after the South Carolina-Clemson game last sunday.

Dad: You hear it took the Clemson team 8 hours to get home last night?

Me: Why? was traffic that bad?

Dad: They had to go real slow since they didnt want another turnover.

(For those that didnt see that game, Clemson had 6-7 turnovers)

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ‘€︎ u/PiKappaFratta
πŸ“…︎ Dec 10 2013
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Bruce Springsteen, Pearl Jam and Ringo Starr all cancel NC shows over the anti-LGBT law.
πŸ‘︎ 78
πŸ“…︎ Apr 19 2016
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Two boll weevils

Two boll weevils grew up in South Carolina. One went to Hollywood and became a famous actor. The other stayed behind in the cotton fields and never amounted to much. The second one, naturally, became known as the lesser of two weevils.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ‘€︎ u/JRBX
πŸ“…︎ Feb 23 2019
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This one is too long for just a title. But, I promise that this really just happened.

I live in South Carolina, sort of near the coast, and Hurricane Florence is headed this way. My two youngest children--total cowards--were helping me clear out all of the storm drains and curb gutters on our street to help the expected 10-20 inches of rain drain as best they can. Any time any insect flies past them, they scream bee and run away screaming. I'm talking like they're afraid of butterflies. My youngest says that Winter is her favorite season because all the bees are dead.

So, we finish up, and I go inside ahead of them, making them put the shovels away, and I hear, from inside, them running and crying/shrieking across the front porch and inside the house.

My youngest, amidst her sobs, says, "It was as big as a baseball" and holds the one I keep on my desk up for comparison.

I think make the B sign in ASL with both of my hands, stand up and say "BUZZ BUZZ BUZZ" at them while they run away in fear, and when the middle child says, "THAT'S NOT FUNNY" I keep moving towards them with my B hands while saying, "DO YOU WANT ME TO JUST LET YOU BEE? HAHAHAHAHAHAHA"

I'm a great dad.

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ‘€︎ u/wuapinmon
πŸ“…︎ Sep 11 2018
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Dad for the win last night.

So my family and I are all gathering around the TV watching the Notre Dame & North Carolina basketball game last night, when out of nowhere my dog starts dry humping the air.

It's absolutely hilarious when he does it, and it all never fails to make everyone laugh hysterically. Take in mind that my dog is neutered so he's super horny but, obviously doesn't really no what he's doing since his baby makers were chopped off. Anyways, my brothers trying to get him to come to him and he's just sitting there looking at him with this his devious little dog face.

Angrily, my brother says,

"He's probably so disobedient because you guys had to go and cut off his balls."

Everyone nodded their heads agreeably, except my dad who mumbles,

"Yeah Matt, that must explain why he never comes."

πŸ‘︎ 29
πŸ‘€︎ u/Huv
πŸ“…︎ Mar 28 2016
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Making dadjokes when you can barely talk isn't easy, but I did it.

At work today, a friend of mine came in with two dried Carolina Reaper peppers. If you aren't familiar with these bad boys, they are hotter than Lucifer's testicles themselves. 2.2 Million Scoville units. Two times hotter than the ghost pepper.

To put it into perspective, a jalapeno is about 5000 scoville units. This one was 2.2 fucking million.

Anyway. I walked past my buddy's desk and he asked if I wanted some of the pepper.


He gave me 1/4 of one of these little peppers and he even dared me to chew it for 15 seconds before swallowing. Which I did. To say that my mouth felt like the burning hemorrhoids of satans budding asshole would be a vast understatement.

One of the girls who sat near my buddy looks at me -- pacing back and forth around the room, sweating, crying -- and she says:

>"Cane-Dewey, are you alright!?"

I could barely breathe let alone speak. But through all the pain and angush, I still managed to mutter out:

>"No, I'm half left.

πŸ‘︎ 44
πŸ‘€︎ u/Cane-Dewey
πŸ“…︎ May 28 2014
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Got my girlfriend good

My girlfriend and I were eating dinner, and she was talking about her coworkers. She was listing them and she said, "There's George, and two Carolinas. " I immediately replied, "North and South?" She rolled her eyes and groaned while I beamed happily.

πŸ‘︎ 16
πŸ‘€︎ u/robertmeowneyjr
πŸ“…︎ Jun 09 2014
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I got dadjoked by my Spanish class this morning.

So, I teach Spanish at a small liberal arts college in the Carolinas. This morning my basic Spanish class was going over a reading comprehension exercise about a clothing store called "Corona." Corona means 'crown' in English. The ad had all kinds of words dealing with royalty, kings, and so on in it, and I wanted to go over the double meanings. So, to start, I asked them, "ΒΏCΓ³mo se dice 'corona' en inglΓ©s?" To a student, they all answered, "Beer."

I groaned and dismissed them five minutes early so I could laugh without them seeing me.

πŸ‘︎ 23
πŸ‘€︎ u/wuapinmon
πŸ“…︎ Nov 11 2014
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Gym Music

Driving from NY to North Carolina. Listening to rock and electronic music.

Mom: This is perfect gym music.

Dad: Jim? He likes country better.

πŸ‘︎ 14
πŸ‘€︎ u/penischarles
πŸ“…︎ Aug 19 2013
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Just because I'm a childless female doesn't mean I can't dad joke.

Background: My SO and I were at a flea market in LA the other day where there were food trucks scattered about. The one we chose to eat at specialized in grilled cheese (my favorite food). They had a sign saying they would cater special events... I asked how far of a radius they would travel. Cheese Griller: We actually have a few trucks between here and Texas. Me: None in North Carolina? Cheese Griller: Nope. Me: Well... are you looking for any francheesors?

SO immediately disowned me and walked away.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ‘€︎ u/lliz
πŸ“…︎ Jun 18 2014
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