I've already heard like seven cancer puns today...
If I hear tumor it's gonna benign
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︎ Jun 20 2018
They say smoking causes cancer.
All I know is that it cures bacon.
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︎ Oct 11 2021
What's the difference between my dad and cancer?
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︎ Sep 24 2021
My friend lost the fight with a cancer...
And in the next round, he did win against an aquarius
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︎ Nov 21 2021
Did you hear about that new Netflix series about a chemistry teacher that finds out he has cancer and secretly opens a bakery to provide for his family when he's gone?
It's called Baking Bread.
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︎ Nov 11 2021
If a man has colon cancer and gets a part of his colon removed, then what does he have now?
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︎ Oct 04 2021
Did you hear about the bingo caller who was diagnosed with cancer?
Everything turned out okay, it was B9.
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︎ Oct 12 2021
What did the throat Dr tell their patient after they diagnosed them with throat cancer?
We have ways of making you talk...
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︎ Oct 15 2021
Im so happy for my friend who beat stage 4 cancer
Now he's entering stage 5.
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︎ Sep 21 2021
Marie Curie was very rad
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︎ Oct 08 2021
What religious group has more cases of cancer than any other?
Catholics, there have new masses every week.
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︎ Aug 01 2021
I lost my left nut to a cancer scare. So now when someone asks me how I am
I can say "I am all right. Literally"
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︎ Jun 06 2021
My Aunt lost her battle to beat Mesothelioma cancer.
She did Asbestos she could.
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︎ Jun 06 2021
Got an email from the Alzheimerβs Association today
I donβt remember signing up on their mailing list.
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︎ Aug 16 2021
Why was the battleship not worried about his skin cancer?
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︎ Jul 01 2021
My friend who's at a high risk for breast cancer had a masectomy recently to prevent it
She said it's a huge weight off her chest
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︎ Jun 03 2021
If jesus died for our sins, then who died for our cos and tan?
People with skin cancer died for the tan, martyrs die for a just cos.
Source: https://old.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/r9fbnm/comment/hnbimya/?utm_source=reddit&utm_medium=web2x&context=3
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︎ Dec 05 2021
What do you call cigarettes you find in a thrift shop?
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︎ Oct 11 2021
My wife believes in horoscopes, so I divorced her
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︎ Oct 09 2021
OC posted in honor of my dear father-in-law, who died of cancer today
Apologies for not following the usual formatting. My father-in-law was diagnosed with lung cancer a few months ago. A few weeks ago, we learned it had spread to his brain. Later that day, he told me:
βWell, everyone came by after they heard about the lung cancer and told me how strong and great I am, and that Iβd beat lung cancer...β
pauses for effect
β...I guess I let it go to my head.β
Edit: thank you all for the kind words (and the silver/gold/platinum...Iβll be making matching gifts to St. Judeβs or a similar organization).
Yes he was a great man. At age 20 he was given 3 months to live due to another βincurableβ disease. He stuck around for another 45+ years. I could go on and on...
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︎ Apr 17 2019
What do you do when your pet dinosaur gets cancer?
Take it to a paleoncologist!
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︎ Mar 09 2021
Whatβs a cancer patientβs favorite part of playing Bingo?
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︎ Jan 17 2021
A gambler visited rain forests every day and ended up getting penile cancer
I guess he was hitting the wrong sloths
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︎ Feb 18 2021
When the doctors told me I have cancer I laughed my ass off
they said I have a great sense of tumour
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︎ Nov 23 2020
I had a cancer scare recently. The doctor said I may have full blown colon cancer
Thankfully itβs just semicolon cancer
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︎ Oct 02 2020
Next week I will learn if I have cancer.
The suspense is killing me.
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︎ Jan 28 2021
Doctor to patient do you smoke?
Patient: yes.
Doctor: what do you smoke?
Patient: mostly brisket, and pork.
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︎ Dec 04 2020
Mobile phones cause cancer...
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︎ Dec 22 2020
The opposite of cancer...
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︎ Aug 20 2020
Which kidney to take?
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︎ Oct 05 2020
Doesnt cause cancer!
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︎ May 08 2020
I think Norm would have liked this one.
Me: Norm Macdonald died of cancer
Wife: OH, that's sad, what kind of cancer?
Me: The fatal kind
Wife: eye roll
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︎ Sep 15 2021
A guy goes to a doctor for a check up
After the check up the doctor says : I have two bad news for you
-Start with the worse , the man says
- you have cancer
- and the second one ?
- you have Alzheimer's
- thank God I dont have cancer
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︎ Sep 12 2021
My wife screens patients for breast cancer
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︎ Sep 05 2020
My Dad is currently riding his bicycle across America to raise awareness for Colon Cancer...
[and posted a picture of him and his bike on a rest day.] (https://i.imgur.com/IapqomG.png)
Edit: Whoa this is getting popular. I live on the other side of the world, and am about to go to bed, but I am just going to put his [donation page] (http://ccf.convio.net/site/TR?px=3433802&fr_id=1580&pg=personal) at the top of the post if anyone is interested. It is no big deal, but if someone is looking, I thought I'd put it at the top. Either way, you all are going to make his day when I show him how many people appreciated his joke. I just hope this doesn't mean that I have to laugh at all of them from now on...
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︎ Oct 26 2017
I made a medicine using ducks that can cure cancer...
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︎ Oct 30 2020
My dad lost his leg to cancer earlier this year. Today he tweeted this:
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︎ Jul 21 2017
Grandma Jokes anyone? Hit me with your best dad jokes for my Grandma who loves dumb jokes and needs some laughs
I hope this type of post is allowed!
I am going to visit my grandma this Tuesday to say goodbye to her. She is 87 and very ill, she is mentally still with it but in a lot of pain. She sounds at peace, I think she is just doing her best to hang on til we can get to her.
My grandma loves stupid jokes, dad jokes, puns, all that stuff. Iβd love to share some laughs with her when I say goodbye. Hit me with your favorite and dumbest dad jokes and I will share the best ones with her.
Thank you Reddit fam!
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︎ Jun 05 2021
I've already heard like seven cancer puns today...
If I hear tumor it's gonna benign
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︎ Nov 24 2019
What's the difference between my dad and cancer?
My dad didnt beat cancer
Edit: difference between ME and cancer
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︎ Apr 21 2021
What's the difference between me and cancer?
My dad didn't beat cancer
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︎ Mar 22 2021
Whatβs the difference between me and cancer?
My dad didnβt beat cancer.
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︎ Mar 12 2021
My wife left me because of my obsession with horoscopes
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︎ Feb 05 2021
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