β€œSorry Harry, unfortunately we have to cancel your Vietnamese food delivery”

Harry Potter and the Order of the Pho Nix.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Apr 06 2021
🚨︎ report
How do you cancel an appointment at the sperm bank ?

Just phone them up and say, "I can't cum. "

πŸ‘︎ 43
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Mar 15 2021
🚨︎ report
I started a cancel culture club.

Boy George was not too pleased.

πŸ‘︎ 17
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πŸ‘€︎ u/BigBrotherBagels
πŸ“…︎ Mar 08 2021
🚨︎ report
A pinguin decided to cancel his wedding last minute.

I guess he got cold feet.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DontReplyToMePlz
πŸ“…︎ Jan 26 2021
🚨︎ report
What is the best way to cancel an appointment?

Ask for disappointment

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Sedulas
πŸ“…︎ Jan 21 2021
🚨︎ report
Why did the couple cancel their dinner plans at the local Indian restaurant?

They agreed it was a naan-starter

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/crash8308
πŸ“…︎ Nov 21 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call someone that cancels your appointment?

A disappointment

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MR_Chuan
πŸ“…︎ Sep 25 2020
🚨︎ report
Given social distancing regulations, a ton of condiment companies are being forced to cancel July 4th campaigns like sponsored concerts, where they planned to hand out signature color sunglasses to attendees.

Bad idea, Heinz-Sight 2020.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DeusJZ
πŸ“…︎ Jun 26 2020
🚨︎ report
What did the sperm donor say when he had to cancel his appointment?

– I can’t come.

πŸ‘︎ 97
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πŸ‘€︎ u/taroqi
πŸ“…︎ Apr 10 2020
🚨︎ report
I had to cancel a boat tour of a Norway cliff-wall sea inlet.

I couldn't afjord it.

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DreadMoor
πŸ“…︎ Jun 23 2020
🚨︎ report
If you ever have to cancel plans with friends your excuse should be that you have to wash your hair in a lukewarm shower with high quality dandruff shampoo.

At least that way your friends can never call you flakey.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Bumblebus
πŸ“…︎ Jul 23 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call two fruits that had to cancel their shotgun wedding?

Cantaloupe

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheAnkleDangler
πŸ“…︎ Jun 13 2020
🚨︎ report
Apparently, if the Coronavirus outbreak gets worse, they might have to cancel all the flights in and out of John Lennon airport.

Imagine all the people.

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jr1477
πŸ“…︎ Mar 05 2020
🚨︎ report
Why didn't the hitman cancel his cable tv?

He didn't want to pay an early termination fee.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/warpedddd
πŸ“…︎ Mar 06 2020
🚨︎ report
If you have lambda as variable that cancels out, does that make it a sacrificial lambda? Ξ»βˆ‡f = 2xΞ» i + 2yΞ» j + 2zΞ» k
πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/virtual_no_body
πŸ“…︎ Oct 04 2019
🚨︎ report
Why did Hitler cancel his plans for the day?

He wasn't feeling all reich

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/NaR_Peter
πŸ“…︎ Dec 03 2018
🚨︎ report
TLC had to cancel a new reality TV show that was set inside an airport.

The pilot didn’t take off.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jul 16 2019
🚨︎ report
Bruce Springsteen, Pearl Jam and Ringo Starr all cancel NC shows over the anti-LGBT law.
πŸ‘︎ 77
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πŸ“…︎ Apr 19 2016
🚨︎ report
The Polar Vortex forced them to cancel tonight's performance of Hamilton in Chicago.

Once again, brrr killed Hamilton.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/NatrixHasYou
πŸ“…︎ Jan 31 2019
🚨︎ report
LPT: Want beer but are too young to buy it? Buy rootbeer and put it in a square glass. The square cancels out the root and all that's left is beer! reddit.com/r/ShittyLifePr…
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πŸ‘€︎ u/kcir_semirg
πŸ“…︎ Jul 05 2018
🚨︎ report
Why did Thing 1 and Thing 2 cancel their gym memberships?

Things weren’t working out.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Freklred
πŸ“…︎ May 16 2018
🚨︎ report
I had a date cancel on me because she claimed to be constipated.

She's so full of shit.

πŸ‘︎ 27
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Kopextacy
πŸ“…︎ Jun 22 2016
🚨︎ report
Why did the pony have to cancel her concert?

She was a little hoarse.

πŸ‘︎ 19
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πŸ‘€︎ u/BadAndNationwide
πŸ“…︎ Apr 02 2016
🚨︎ report
How do you cancel an appointment at the sperm bank?

Just ring up and say you can't cum!

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ball5deeper
πŸ“…︎ Aug 21 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you say when you cancel an appointment?

Disappointment

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/IshYume
πŸ“…︎ Jun 11 2020
🚨︎ report

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