βSorry Harry, unfortunately we have to cancel your Vietnamese food deliveryβ
Harry Potter and the Order of the Pho Nix.
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︎ Apr 06 2021
How do you cancel an appointment at the sperm bank ?
Just phone them up and say, "I can't cum. "
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︎ Mar 15 2021
I started a cancel culture club.
Boy George was not too pleased.
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︎ Mar 08 2021
A pinguin decided to cancel his wedding last minute.
I guess he got cold feet.
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︎ Jan 26 2021
What is the best way to cancel an appointment?
π︎ 7
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︎ Jan 21 2021
Why did the couple cancel their dinner plans at the local Indian restaurant?
They agreed it was a naan-starter
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︎ Nov 21 2020
What do you call someone that cancels your appointment?
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︎ Sep 25 2020
Given social distancing regulations, a ton of condiment companies are being forced to cancel July 4th campaigns like sponsored concerts, where they planned to hand out signature color sunglasses to attendees.
Bad idea, Heinz-Sight 2020.
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︎ Jun 26 2020
What did the sperm donor say when he had to cancel his appointment?
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︎ Apr 10 2020
I had to cancel a boat tour of a Norway cliff-wall sea inlet.
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︎ Jun 23 2020
If you ever have to cancel plans with friends your excuse should be that you have to wash your hair in a lukewarm shower with high quality dandruff shampoo.
At least that way your friends can never call you flakey.
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︎ Jul 23 2020
What do you call two fruits that had to cancel their shotgun wedding?
π︎ 3
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︎ Jun 13 2020
Apparently, if the Coronavirus outbreak gets worse, they might have to cancel all the flights in and out of John Lennon airport.
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︎ Mar 05 2020
Why didn't the hitman cancel his cable tv?
He didn't want to pay an early termination fee.
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︎ Mar 06 2020
If you have lambda as variable that cancels out, does that make it a sacrificial lambda? Ξ»βf = 2xΞ» i + 2yΞ» j + 2zΞ» k
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︎ Oct 04 2019
Why did Hitler cancel his plans for the day?
He wasn't feeling all reich
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︎ Dec 03 2018
TLC had to cancel a new reality TV show that was set inside an airport.
The pilot didnβt take off.
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︎ Jul 16 2019
Bruce Springsteen, Pearl Jam and Ringo Starr all cancel NC shows over the anti-LGBT law.
This is disconcerting news.
But seriously:
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︎ Apr 19 2016
The Polar Vortex forced them to cancel tonight's performance of Hamilton in Chicago.
Once again, brrr killed Hamilton.
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︎ Jan 31 2019
LPT: Want beer but are too young to buy it? Buy rootbeer and put it in a square glass. The square cancels out the root and all that's left is beer!
reddit.com/r/ShittyLifePrβ¦
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︎ Jul 05 2018
Why did Thing 1 and Thing 2 cancel their gym memberships?
Things werenβt working out.
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︎ May 16 2018
I had a date cancel on me because she claimed to be constipated.
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︎ Jun 22 2016
Why did the pony have to cancel her concert?
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︎ Apr 02 2016
How do you cancel an appointment at the sperm bank?
Just ring up and say you can't cum!
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︎ Aug 21 2020
What do you say when you cancel an appointment?
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︎ Jun 11 2020
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