22 Hilarious Cancel Puns - Punstoppable 🛑

A pinguin decided to cancel his wedding last minute.

I guess he got cold feet.

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👤︎ u/DontReplyToMePlz

📅︎ Jan 26 2021

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What is the best way to cancel an appointment?

Ask for disappointment

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👤︎ u/Sedulas

📅︎ Jan 21 2021

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Why did the couple cancel their dinner plans at the local Indian restaurant?

They agreed it was a naan-starter

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👤︎ u/crash8308

📅︎ Nov 21 2020

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What do you call someone that cancels your appointment?

A disappointment

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👤︎ u/MR_Chuan

📅︎ Sep 25 2020

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Given social distancing regulations, a ton of condiment companies are being forced to cancel July 4th campaigns like sponsored concerts, where they planned to hand out signature color sunglasses to attendees.

Bad idea, Heinz-Sight 2020.

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👤︎ u/DeusJZ

📅︎ Jun 26 2020

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If you ever have to cancel plans with friends your excuse should be that you have to wash your hair in a lukewarm shower with high quality dandruff shampoo.

At least that way your friends can never call you flakey.

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👤︎ u/Bumblebus

📅︎ Jul 23 2020

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How do you cancel an appointment at the sperm bank?

Just ring up and say you can't cum!

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👤︎ u/ball5deeper

📅︎ Aug 21 2020

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I had to cancel a boat tour of a Norway cliff-wall sea inlet.

I couldn't afjord it.

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👤︎ u/DreadMoor

📅︎ Jun 23 2020

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What did the sperm donor say when he had to cancel his appointment?

– I can’t come.

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👤︎ u/taroqi

📅︎ Apr 10 2020

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What do you call two fruits that had to cancel their shotgun wedding?

Cantaloupe

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👤︎ u/TheAnkleDangler

📅︎ Jun 13 2020

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Apparently, if the Coronavirus outbreak gets worse, they might have to cancel all the flights in and out of John Lennon airport.

Imagine all the people.

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👤︎ u/jr1477

📅︎ Mar 05 2020

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Why didn't the hitman cancel his cable tv?

He didn't want to pay an early termination fee.

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👤︎ u/warpedddd

📅︎ Mar 06 2020

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If you have lambda as variable that cancels out, does that make it a sacrificial lambda? λ∇f = 2xλ i + 2yλ j + 2zλ k

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👤︎ u/virtual_no_body

📅︎ Oct 04 2019

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Why did Hitler cancel his plans for the day?

He wasn't feeling all reich

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👤︎ u/NaR_Peter

📅︎ Dec 03 2018

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TLC had to cancel a new reality TV show that was set inside an airport.

The pilot didn’t take off.

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👤︎ u/porichoygupto

📅︎ Jul 16 2019

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The Polar Vortex forced them to cancel tonight's performance of Hamilton in Chicago.

Once again, brrr killed Hamilton.

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👤︎ u/NatrixHasYou

📅︎ Jan 31 2019

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Bruce Springsteen, Pearl Jam and Ringo Starr all cancel NC shows over the anti-LGBT law.

This is disconcerting news.

But seriously:

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👤︎ u/FullNoodleFrontity

📅︎ Apr 19 2016

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LPT: Want beer but are too young to buy it? Buy rootbeer and put it in a square glass. The square cancels out the root and all that's left is beer! reddit.com/r/ShittyLifePr…

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👤︎ u/kcir_semirg

📅︎ Jul 05 2018

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Why did Thing 1 and Thing 2 cancel their gym memberships?

Things weren’t working out.

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👤︎ u/Freklred

📅︎ May 16 2018

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I had a date cancel on me because she claimed to be constipated.

She's so full of shit.

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👤︎ u/Kopextacy

📅︎ Jun 22 2016

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Why did the pony have to cancel her concert?

She was a little hoarse.

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👤︎ u/BadAndNationwide

📅︎ Apr 02 2016

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What do you say when you cancel an appointment?

Disappointment

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👤︎ u/IshYume

📅︎ Jun 11 2020

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