My wife burned 8,000 calories
She left the brownies in the oven too long
π︎ 23
π
︎ Dec 14 2020
What do you call Vodka with no calories?
π︎ 10
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︎ Sep 25 2020
I just burned 2000 calories...
That's the last time I leave brownies in the oven while I take a nap!
π︎ 51
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︎ Jul 02 2020
I burned an impressive 2,000 calories today.
Thatβs the last time I fall asleep with brownies in the oven.
π︎ 27
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︎ Jun 04 2020
I just burned like a thousand calories....
It turns out pizzas are very good fire starters for arson.
π︎ 8
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︎ Mar 27 2020
What do you call a whole grain thatβs zero calories but is rarely used?
π︎ 6
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︎ Mar 15 2020
During sex you burn as much calories as running for 5 miles.
Who the hell runs 5 miles in 30 seconds?
π︎ 35
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︎ Aug 04 2019
I burned 400 calories this morning.
My Pop Tarts got stuck in the toaster.
π︎ 179
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︎ Jul 13 2019
I burnt about 2,000 calories today
I left the chocolate mud cake in the oven to long
π︎ 17
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︎ Jul 14 2019
Wanna know how I burned 2014 calories in just an hour?
I left my frozen pizza in the oven for too long
π︎ 18
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︎ Jul 16 2019
Burnt 1600 calories today.. feeling good!
π︎ 25
π
︎ Feb 05 2019
So I dropped 600 calories in one minute today.
My cheese burger fell on the floor.
π︎ 28
π
︎ Feb 07 2019
I told my dad that I burned 400 calories.
He asked if the firefighters came.
π︎ 5
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︎ Apr 28 2019
I burnt 2000 calories yesterday.
I forgot to take my cake out the oven...
(Yes, all credit goes to Sorted Food)
π︎ 4
π
︎ May 18 2019
I just burned a thousand calories in twelve minutes!
I forgot I had a pizza in the oven
π︎ 41
π
︎ Jun 03 2018
After 30 minutes on the treadmill it said "274 calories".
So I stayed on for a little longer to see if it would make the treadmill tastier.
π︎ 2
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︎ Nov 20 2018
Calories!
Who knew one word could carry so much weight.
π︎ 24
π
︎ Mar 24 2018
Iβm proud to say I burned a lot of calories today.
Forgot to turn off the stove while making dinner.
π︎ 4
π
︎ Dec 23 2017
I just found out how to burn 2000 calories
I left my brownies in the oven too long
π︎ 421
π
︎ May 14 2020
Just burned 2,000 calories in 2 hours
Thatβs the last time I leave my brownies in the oven while Iβm at work
π︎ 29
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︎ May 09 2020
Just burned 2000 calories today
I wonβt forget to remove the brownies from the oven next time.
π︎ 29
π
︎ Sep 07 2019
I burned 2,000 calories yesterday.
Left the brownies in the oven too long.
π︎ 109
π
︎ Jun 11 2019
I burned 2,000 calories last night
Left the brownies in the oven for too long...
π︎ 62
π
︎ May 21 2019
I burned 2000 calories today
I left my food in the oven for too long.
π︎ 15
π
︎ Oct 20 2019
I burned 2,000 calories yesterday...
Left the brownies in the oven for too long
π︎ 79
π
︎ Feb 20 2019
I burned 2000 calories yesterday.
I left my pizza in the oven too long
π︎ 17
π
︎ Aug 06 2019
I burned 2000 calories today.
I left the brownies in the oven on accident!
π︎ 15
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︎ Jun 27 2019
Wow. I burned 1500 calories.
Thatβs the last time I leave my cake in the oven while I nap.
π︎ 11
π
︎ Jun 23 2019
I just burned 2,000 calories!
I just burned 2,000 calories!
That's the last time I leave cookies in the oven while I take a nap.
π︎ 14
π
︎ May 01 2019
I burned over 1000 calories yesterday.
I accidentally left the brownies in too long
π︎ 2
π
︎ Jul 25 2019
Just burned 2,000 calories.
Thatβs the last time I leave brownies in the oven while I nap.
π︎ 33
π
︎ Nov 20 2018
I just burned 2000 calories!
That's the last time I'll leave the brownies in the oven whilst I take a nap, that's for sure
π︎ 55
π
︎ Jan 09 2018
I burnt 2600 calories yesterday!
I forgot the tray of brownies in the oven.
π︎ 71
π
︎ Aug 05 2017
I've just burned 3,000 calories
I forgot to take the pizza out of the oven.
π︎ 25
π
︎ Mar 20 2017
I burned 2,000 calories today.
I left my brownies in the oven for too long.
π︎ 14
π
︎ Dec 30 2015
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