My wife burned 8,000 calories

She left the brownies in the oven too long

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πŸ‘€︎ u/WisdomThingy
πŸ“…︎ Dec 14 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call Vodka with no calories?

Absolut Zero

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Megalythyx
πŸ“…︎ Sep 25 2020
🚨︎ report
I just burned 2000 calories...

That's the last time I leave brownies in the oven while I take a nap!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/WispyNarwhal
πŸ“…︎ Jul 02 2020
🚨︎ report
I burned an impressive 2,000 calories today.

That’s the last time I fall asleep with brownies in the oven.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/andersonfmly
πŸ“…︎ Jun 04 2020
🚨︎ report
I just burned like a thousand calories....

It turns out pizzas are very good fire starters for arson.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/MrEggsBenedicr
πŸ“…︎ Mar 27 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call a whole grain that’s zero calories but is rarely used?

Weird flax but 0k

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πŸ‘€︎ u/jaywalkerr
πŸ“…︎ Mar 15 2020
🚨︎ report
During sex you burn as much calories as running for 5 miles.

Who the hell runs 5 miles in 30 seconds?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/viperfour
πŸ“…︎ Aug 04 2019
🚨︎ report
I burned 400 calories this morning.

My Pop Tarts got stuck in the toaster.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/GinormousPenguin
πŸ“…︎ Jul 13 2019
🚨︎ report
I burnt about 2,000 calories today

I left the chocolate mud cake in the oven to long

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πŸ‘€︎ u/silent_kill2748
πŸ“…︎ Jul 14 2019
🚨︎ report
Wanna know how I burned 2014 calories in just an hour?

I left my frozen pizza in the oven for too long

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πŸ‘€︎ u/subhi2
πŸ“…︎ Jul 16 2019
🚨︎ report
Burnt 1600 calories today.. feeling good!
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πŸ‘€︎ u/sonujohny
πŸ“…︎ Feb 05 2019
🚨︎ report
So I dropped 600 calories in one minute today.

My cheese burger fell on the floor.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/cjjsteen3
πŸ“…︎ Feb 07 2019
🚨︎ report
I told my dad that I burned 400 calories.

He asked if the firefighters came.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/MaximumPollution
πŸ“…︎ Apr 28 2019
🚨︎ report
I burnt 2000 calories yesterday.

I forgot to take my cake out the oven...

(Yes, all credit goes to Sorted Food)

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πŸ‘€︎ u/JimmyNuggets
πŸ“…︎ May 18 2019
🚨︎ report
I just burned a thousand calories in twelve minutes!

I forgot I had a pizza in the oven

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πŸ‘€︎ u/zortor
πŸ“…︎ Jun 03 2018
🚨︎ report
After 30 minutes on the treadmill it said "274 calories".

So I stayed on for a little longer to see if it would make the treadmill tastier.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TommehBoi
πŸ“…︎ Nov 20 2018
🚨︎ report
Calories!

Who knew one word could carry so much weight.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/rogerstc2
πŸ“…︎ Mar 24 2018
🚨︎ report
I’m proud to say I burned a lot of calories today.

Forgot to turn off the stove while making dinner.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Dec 23 2017
🚨︎ report
I just found out how to burn 2000 calories

I left my brownies in the oven too long

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πŸ‘€︎ u/mafiaworks_08
πŸ“…︎ May 14 2020
🚨︎ report
Just burned 2,000 calories in 2 hours

That’s the last time I leave my brownies in the oven while I’m at work

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πŸ‘€︎ u/darkalan64
πŸ“…︎ May 09 2020
🚨︎ report
Just burned 2000 calories today

I won’t forget to remove the brownies from the oven next time.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/school-yeeter
πŸ“…︎ Sep 07 2019
🚨︎ report
I burned 2,000 calories yesterday.

Left the brownies in the oven too long.

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πŸ“…︎ Jun 11 2019
🚨︎ report
I burned 2,000 calories last night

Left the brownies in the oven for too long...

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πŸ‘€︎ u/swiggetyswine69
πŸ“…︎ May 21 2019
🚨︎ report
I burned 2000 calories today

I left my food in the oven for too long.

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πŸ“…︎ Oct 20 2019
🚨︎ report
I burned 2,000 calories yesterday...

Left the brownies in the oven for too long

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πŸ‘€︎ u/david7494
πŸ“…︎ Feb 20 2019
🚨︎ report
I burned 2000 calories yesterday.

I left my pizza in the oven too long

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πŸ‘€︎ u/killer_pop_chilly
πŸ“…︎ Aug 06 2019
🚨︎ report
I burned 2000 calories today.

I left the brownies in the oven on accident!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/sasschary
πŸ“…︎ Jun 27 2019
🚨︎ report
Wow. I burned 1500 calories.

That’s the last time I leave my cake in the oven while I nap.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/C0untdown
πŸ“…︎ Jun 23 2019
🚨︎ report
I just burned 2,000 calories!

I just burned 2,000 calories!

That's the last time I leave cookies in the oven while I take a nap.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/BadPuppyZA
πŸ“…︎ May 01 2019
🚨︎ report
I burned over 1000 calories yesterday.

I accidentally left the brownies in too long

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Armyman194
πŸ“…︎ Jul 25 2019
🚨︎ report
Just burned 2,000 calories.

That’s the last time I leave brownies in the oven while I nap.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ENJOYblet
πŸ“…︎ Nov 20 2018
🚨︎ report
I just burned 2000 calories!

That's the last time I'll leave the brownies in the oven whilst I take a nap, that's for sure

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πŸ‘€︎ u/RishDaBoss
πŸ“…︎ Jan 09 2018
🚨︎ report
I burnt 2600 calories yesterday!

I forgot the tray of brownies in the oven.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/royaj77
πŸ“…︎ Aug 05 2017
🚨︎ report
I've just burned 3,000 calories

I forgot to take the pizza out of the oven.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Kalyx__g
πŸ“…︎ Mar 20 2017
🚨︎ report
I burned 2,000 calories today.

I left my brownies in the oven for too long.

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ElGuaco
πŸ“…︎ Dec 30 2015
🚨︎ report

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