It must have been a conference caw...
I was discussing the snack supply with my family. I got a box of graham crackers a few days ago, and evidently they went through that, and bought another box, and went through that too. I said to them, "wow, you go through a lot of graham crackers... maybe you should start buying kilograham crackers." Four sets of eyes around the table went like this in unison:
β_β
ΰ² _ΰ²
-_-
I enjoyed a quiet little cackle while they stared.
Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
But how am I supposed to know when itβs raining in Sweden?
Coops
His son was eating animal cookies, and pulls out a cookie shaped like a whale, and says:
whale whale whale... what do we have here.
So my front yard has a lot of weeds and crappy grass I've been trying to get rid of for years. They're mutants, so nothing will kill them. This year, one of the decorative rocks has turned out to be covered by a giant shroom as well. This thing is enormous. It has about a hundred different canopies, but as far as I can tell it's all one organism.
So I was talking with her about things I might be able to use to get rid of all this stuff, shroom included, and after she suggested a mixture of various household products I asked if it would work on fungus as well. She said it was worth a shot and asked why I wanted to know.
I replied, "Because that thing's just taking up way too mush room."
I was over it in a few seconds, but she's been randomly cracking up for days now. Send help.
Catholics.
(Please tell me that wasn't offensive)
Then why did someone invent the USB?
"the chicken"
Then it's a soap opera.
Nemosporin
My 8 year old daughter came up with this!
A mitochondria.
Dad calls me up: "Hey, son, what do you call a thousand rabbits standing abreast and jumping backwards? It's a receding hare line."
I can practically hear the look on my dad's face over the phone.
A tiny part of me says yes
Go straight for the juggler.
Sorry not a joke but need some new replies other than, In a while crocodile
Bear with me, it's a little story. So, I'm getting ready to take her to school this morning and I was about to hop in the shower when I felt the call of nature, didn't have enough time to poo and get to school on time so I say, "I'm just going to get dressed and I'm not going to shower" she asks me why and I said, "I have to poop and it's a whole process." She immediately replies... "A process of elimination". I start cackling immediately. I'm laughing and, as kids like to do, she keeps saying it thinking she's cool. I can't stop laughing but as she's repeating it, I wonder if she knows. So I ask her, do you know why that's funny? She says no, and my wife and I start cackling even more and I explain through the tears that pooping can be called elimination.
I'm sure it's not a new thing but it's new to us and we are going to have a new phrase for doing a deuce!
They are far too dry!
This is from last night, pizza night.
(I have two pizzas in-hand)
Me (47 yo dad): Hey kids (2 12 yos + 1 11 yo), i have a question!
Them: (in a surly tone) huh/grumble/no response?
Me: If I throw a pizza...(my eyes begin to twinkle)
Them: (seeing the signs, they scatter in attempt to get out of earshot, but they're too slow)
Me: ... Will it become at YEET-ZA?!?!? (I begin cackling)
11 yo: Busts out laughing.
12 yo daughter: DON'T GIVE HIM ANY ATTENTION, YOU'RE ENCOURAGING HIM!!!
I'm so fucking proud... Feel like i leveled up on this one!
I suspect fowl play
My mother, who was watching this go down, just laughs and says, "Assault and battery!"
She then left the room, cackling.
The cashier says "It's $19.97," and my husband responded "I'm pretty sure it's 2014." Groans were had by myself, our son, and the cashier, while my husband cackled gleefully.
A few days ago, my dad (who is a recent Reddit convert) and I were watching "American Hustle" and in the middle of the movie, Christian Bale's character opens up a safe at one of his dry cleaning businesses.
Dad taps me on the shoulder, leans over and says:
"OP Delivered"
He immediately began cackling as I groaned.
A cackle-ator
So my sister brought her computer over for my dad to fix. From my room, some 30 minutes later, i just heard him sniggering, and eventually balling his eyes out with laughter. He summons me over, and says through teary eyes "Look what i changed her computer name to!" So, look i did, expecting something silly. Sure enough, he had called it "Banana". I just shook my head and walked off while he cackled maniacally in his chair.
Snap cackle n' pop
What is weak? A: The week days!
What is tough? A: The Week ends!
She sat came up with each of these a few days apart and cackled after saying them. My wife groaned, I was so proud :D
I started singing Karma Chameleon and my daughter sys "Thanks dad, that'll be stuck in my head all day now"
I said "No it won't, it'll come and go"
Cue disgusted look at my cackling laugh.
Long Island medium- "hi, I'm a medium"
Dad-"a medium? More like an extra large"
He cackled and walked away.
O dad.
In a cackle box π£
"So, I put a paper in the mailboxes of a few teachers."
"Oh jeez. What did you do this time?"
"I typed a Word Document that said 'Please fill out this form' and left the rest of the page blank. dad cackle
You shoulda heard what they were saying: 'Why did they give ME one? Did YOU get one?' Everyone was losing their minds!"
Some describe it as a cackle, but I always thought it was more of a low ha.
The whiteboard is always a mess from the previous class and every week my lecturer has been getting more and more annoyed that the previous guy doesn't clean the board after use.
This morning as he begrudgingly stepped towards the board he sighed and asked the heavens, "when will be the day that I stop having to wipe this board?"
I said to him, "I think the writing's on the wall Professor."
I got one cackled laugh amongst many groans
We were doing some Sunday chores and my wife asked me:
Wife: Do you know where the broom is? Me: Why, you going out? Wife: Corner smile, eyes rolling...slight cackle and evil look. I'm lucky, she usual appreciates my "Dad humor."
Brother: Im such a huge fan of The Walking Dead.
Dad: Really? You look normal sized to me (cackling commences).
When my dad and I were dropping my sister off at brownie camp a few weeks ago, several of the adults came over to us to say hello. They introduced themselves as Snowy Owl, Tawny Owl, and Barn Owl. My dad chirps in with "So is that the pecking order then?" and elbows me in the ribs, cackling away.
When your 8 year old says "yeah, that makes sense" and your 4 year old looks at him, barely containing a cackle and says, "like dollar cents?"
Background: My boyfriend is stuck on crutches after having hip surgery and likes to sit in the recliner with his legs propped up. Since he can't move his hips, I have to lower the footrest for him to get out of the chair.
Him: Can you put my feet down so I can go relax in the bed for a while?
Me: Feet, you're stupid and useless and no one likes you!
Him giving me silence with a side of contempt while I cackle.
Laughter is the best medicine...
Anytime my dad sees a dog licking its own balls if there is anyone around he ask "don't you wish you could do that?" If the person responds yes he cackles his way through "give it a try I'm sure he'd let you."
I had been talking today about wanting to bake something sweet, but we didn't get back home until pretty late. I said aloud that I was awfully tired.
Sister: "I thought you were going to bake?"
Dad: "She can't bake. She's already fried."
Then he cackled for like 30 seconds.
A cackle-ator.
