My friend walks into my room and starts tying knots in my charging cable.

Without hesitating, I respond, "You know, that's knot in a cord with what most people call good manners."

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/eThunderSnow
πŸ“…︎ Sep 15 2019
🚨︎ report
A construction worker goes to a fancy restaurant and his a dress code problem.

The man goes into the fancy restaurant and have a discussion with the host:

Host Sir, you cannot come in here with out a belt. We have standards.

The man goes out to his car and puts on a belt fashioned out of some rope. He goes back in.

Host Alright.... I guess you have a belt....You still need a jacket.

The man goes back out to his car and fishes out a jacket his wore to a wedding a year ago. He shares it off, brushes it with his hand, and puts it on.

Host Ok. You still need a tie. It is required.

The man goes out to his car. He doesn't have a tie. He puts on jumper cables and makes a perfect Windsor knot.

Host You have a belt and a jacket. I guess you have a tie.

Just don't try to start something....

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/WinnieTheEeyore
πŸ“…︎ Sep 16 2020
🚨︎ report
A man is walking into an expensive restaurant when...

A man is walking into an expensive restaurant when he is stopped by the Maitre'D, who tells him that he can't be admitted without a necktie. The man, late for his appointment, runs back out to his car and searches high and low. Finally, out of desperation, he grabs a set of jumper cables, ties them into a rough knot around his neck and runs back into the restaurant. The Maitre'D stares at him for a few seconds and finally says, "Alright, I'll let you in..." and then leans in and says in a low growl, "but you'd better not try to start anything."

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/sherzeg
πŸ“…︎ May 22 2020
🚨︎ report
Fresh Thai food.
πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Spartan17492
πŸ“…︎ May 01 2018
🚨︎ report
No entry

Man walks up to a club, security stops him saying β€œsorry mate, can’t come in without a tie on”. Man pleads but gets the same answer.

He goes to his car across the road and looks in the trunk, he can only find a set of jump cables so puts them round his neck.

He approaches the club again, the bouncer says β€œalright, you can come in....but don’t you start anything”

πŸ‘︎ 13
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/TackySour
πŸ“…︎ Apr 27 2018
🚨︎ report
Impromptu Dinner Party

A man was invited to a last minute dinner party at a nice restaurant for which he was not properly dressed.

He needed a tie, but didn't have time to pick one up, so he used his jumper cables instead.

Once at the restaurant, the hostess says, "I'll let you in, but don't start anything!"

πŸ‘︎ 15
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Dizmodo
πŸ“…︎ Apr 05 2017
🚨︎ report
My dad emailed me this joke...

This guy wants to go into a nightclub, but the bouncer says, "Sorry, bud, you need a tie for this place." Our hero goes back to his car and rummages around, but there's no necktie to be found. In desperation, he takes his jumper cables, wraps them around his neck, ties a Windsor knot, and lets the ends dangle free. He goes back to the nightclub, where the bouncer says...

"Well, OK, I guess you can come in. But don't start anything!"

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/realhighpockets
πŸ“…︎ Mar 03 2015
🚨︎ report
Granddad at family reunion...

He gets some of the family together and tells this joke... A man runs up to a church entrance and is stopped at the door. "Sir,to enter the church you must be wearing a tie" the man then says "I need to go in this church,its my daughters wedding" the man guarding the church then says "How about you go to your car and try to find something to use as a tie". The man runs back to his car and raps some jumper cables around his neck as a tie and returns to the church, the man guarding the church then says "fine,you can go in,but just don't start anything".

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/WilmaDickfit6
πŸ“…︎ Jun 30 2014
🚨︎ report

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.