There is a German shepherd next door that keeps burying bones in my yard, and taking poops on my flower bed.
A person was accused of burying someone in cement
but there was no concrete evidence.
Everyone was really excited when we got rid of the dynamite by burying it.
My Dad lost his job at the cemetery after burying someone in the wrong hole.
One day I saw a squirrel burying lotto tickets under a large bush, so I asked him what he was doing.
He told me he was hedging his bets.
(My Grandma called me just to tell me this one): Why did the farmer bury a lightbulb?
He wanted to grow a power plant
Where is Karl Marx buried?
In a communist plot.
(The actual answer is London.)
I want to be buried with my record collection.
That would be my vinyl resting place.
Why is it that nobody who lives within ten miles of Wisconsin's Forest Home Cemetery is allowed to be buried there?
Because they're all still alive!!
I learned something new about cemeteries; the people in its town aren't the ones being buried there. Do you know why?
It's because they're still alive.
When I die, I want to be buried with my wedding ring on.
That'll let God know, that I've been through hell already.
This is the last thing I need
A man got very upset when I buried him in NaCl.
He said my behaviour was insulting.
You know how tombs tend to have money that's buried with their inhabitants?
That's the first cryptocurrency.
How should you bury an onion?
My father died and requested to be buried at a specific farm.
He always told us one day he'd be a dead beet Dad.
The folks who live in my town aren’t allowed to be buried in the old cemetery on the edge of town.
Mostly because they’re not dead yet.
Why did it take the Roman General 10 tries to find the buried treasure?
Where do you bury asphalt after it dies?
Where do you bury dead cutlery?
In it's final resting plates.
Did you know there’s a law stating no one living within 5 miles of a cemetery can be buried there?
Where are dead computer hackers buried?
What do you call a composer that’s dead and buried?
There once was a record store. The owner was seventy-four. One day he fell ill then wrote in his will , “bury me with records galore”
It was his vinyl resting place
Over the years, my neighbour has buried his deceased pets in his backyard, and to his surprise, a plant has sprung up.
Man: You buried my grandmother in the wrong plot!
Cemetery groundskeeper: I guess you can say I’ve made a grave mistake.
*while my dad and I drive past a cemetery*
Dad: "Did you know that the people who live in this town aren't allowed to be buried in that cemetery?"
Me: "Oh, why?"
Dad: "Cuz they're still alive."
I was driving with my dad when we passed a cemetery. My dad goes in a low, dark, creepy voice, "I know something about this cemetery that you don’t.” And I was like what is it? He continued, "The people living in this town can’t be buried here.” I was really confused so I asked why?
He rasped, "Cuz they’re still alive!"
What was the name of the Egyptian that was buried with chocolate and nuts?
Did you know that lawyers are buried 12 feet deep when they die?
Apparently deep down they are good people.
I just went to go visit my late grandmother buried in the cemetery, but when I went there I found her dancing!
It was quite the Plot Twist
Why can't a man living in New York be buried in Chicago ?
My goldfish named Nate died.
So, to not make my kids sad, I bought another goldfish. He was an alternate.
My dad was driving, when we were passing by a graveyard he said:
-hey. Do you know that the poeple who lives in this city, arent allowed to be buried here?
-no. Why?
-because they are still alive
When I post a joke and no one rates...
I just assume they all died from laughter.
That's reeeealy deeeep down
Our cemetery is really getting crowded.
Seems people are just dyin to get into it.
When I die bury me on the weekend. Because the day I die will be sad,
But the funeral will be on a sadder day.
Yesterday, I was digging in the garden when I found a buried treasure chest!
I ran inside to tell my wife, but then I remembered why I was digging in the garden...
The crossword fan asked to be buried 6ft down
Why did they bury the sick box underground?
The buried shoe.
Today I buried my shoe.
May it's sole Rest In Peace.
What's the respectful way to bury a cow?
Did you hear about the 500 pound man that they had to bury with a backhoe?
It was a huge undertaking.
When Beethoven passed away, he was buried in a churchyard. A couple days later, the town drunk was walking through the cemetery and heard some strange noise coming from the area where Beethoven was buried. Terrified, the drunk ran and got the priest to come and listen to it...
The priest bent close to the grave and heard some faint, unrecognizable music coming from the grave.
Frightened, the priest ran and got the town magistrate.
When the magistrate arrived, he bent his ear to the grave, listened for a moment and said, "Ah, yes, that's Beethoven's Ninth Symphony, being played backwards."
He listened a while longer, and said, "There's the Eighth Symphony and it's backwards, too. Most puzzling."
So the magistrate kept listening, "There's the Seventh... the Sixth... the Fifth..."
Suddenly the realization of what was happening dawned on the magistrate.
He stood up and announced to the crowd that had gathered in the cemetery, "My fellow citizens, there's nothing to worry about. It's just Beethoven decomposing."
People tend to be buried underground because...
They feel like it has a deeper meaning.
Last week some guy was accused of burying someone in cement.
But there was no concrete evidence.
Burying someone in the wrong slot is a grave mistake
I was driving with my dad when we passed a cemetery. My dad goes in a low, dark, creepy voice, "I know something about this cemetery that you don’t.” And I was like what is it? He continued, "The people living in this town can’t be buried here.” I was really confused so I asked why?
He rasped, "Cuz they’re still alive!"
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