When I go shopping for brow pencils, I never know what I want

So eye brows

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πŸ‘€︎ u/AwwwwwwYeahhhhhhh
πŸ“…︎ Nov 27 2020
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2 midgets are sitting around bored.

One of them pulls out some weed and asks his mate, "Wanna get medium."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Dec 16 2020
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This is why you brows the internet
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πŸ‘€︎ u/FizyFuzz
πŸ“…︎ Apr 27 2019
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Eye brows
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TortugaINC
πŸ“…︎ Sep 27 2019
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Brow(k)nee
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Lil_Pask
πŸ“…︎ Apr 08 2019
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So, 3 nuns die in a car crash and end up before the gates of St Peter....

St Peter says to the nuns "Given you are nuns and have devoted your life to good works you only need to answer a single question each to enter Heaven."

He looks to the first nun and asks "where did the first woman live?"

The first nun quickly replied "the garden of Eden".

St Peter nods approval and looks to the second nun "what was the name of the first woman?"

The second nun pauses for a second and then replies "Eve."

"Well done!" Says St Peter before turning to the third nun and saying "As the Mother Superior you should be able to answer this; what did Eve say to Adam when she first saw him?"

The Mother Superior furrows her brow and says "oh, that's a hard one".

"Correct!" Says St Peter. "You may enter."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/atheistmil
πŸ“…︎ Apr 15 2020
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High Brow Humor (x-post from /r/funny) reddit.com/r/puns
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πŸ‘€︎ u/GantMan
πŸ“…︎ Apr 24 2014
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I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too High

She looked surprised.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/dragonclaw123
πŸ“…︎ Jan 28 2019
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Dad occasionally goes a little high brow...

"Did you hear about the actress who was cut from her role portraying Christine in the Phantom of the Opera for being a problem alcoholic? She was a drunk On-gin-ue!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/barthm1
πŸ“…︎ Nov 09 2014
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I told my wife she drew her eyebrows abit high today

she seemed suprised

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Jzshuv
πŸ“…︎ Apr 01 2018
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My wife asked me what I do for hours at a time at the beauty school library. I replied ...

... eye brows.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/0618033989
πŸ“…︎ Nov 16 2019
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Something's a little fishy here
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πŸ‘€︎ u/not_my_wig
πŸ“…︎ Oct 21 2017
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My wife is thinking about getting a facelift

I tell her she’ll be sure to raise a couple brows

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πŸ‘€︎ u/The_Nightman_82
πŸ“…︎ Dec 06 2019
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3 Year old daughter has me beat, so proud of her

Yesterday, while eating dinner - my 3 year old daughter wanted a kiss from her mother.

Daughter: I want a kiss.

My daughter then proceeds to give her mom a kiss.

Me: I want 2 kisses.

Daughter then kisses her mom again.

Me: I want 3 kisses.

Kisses her mom again.

Me: I want 4 kisses.

She grabs her fork and puts it to my mouth, and says fork kiss! And laughs.

I'm so proud of her...hahahhaha

Edit: formatting (on mobile)

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πŸ‘€︎ u/penmaggots
πŸ“…︎ May 16 2017
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I don't normally surf the internet...

but when I do, Eye Brows

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πŸ‘€︎ u/DCCXXVIII
πŸ“…︎ Apr 23 2019
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How does an eyeball greet his friends?

Eye brows

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πŸ‘€︎ u/offeverynight
πŸ“…︎ Aug 25 2018
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I went up a mountain to speak to a mystic.

I asked him, "Can you tell me what it's all about, existence and all that?" His eyes looked up at me, from underneath his bushy brows. Solemnly he said, "That is is a tricky question, but you should go work in an aquarium. "I was confused. "An aquarium, why is that?" "Because then you will have porpoise in life."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Peteman22
πŸ“…︎ Sep 25 2018
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I did a tasteless joke at an alopecia convention

Fortunately, it didn’t raise any eye brows

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πŸ‘€︎ u/lasercats18
πŸ“…︎ Sep 16 2018
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Country girl goes to visit her big city cousin.

So the two girls get invited to a dance. The country girl thinks this might be too high brow for her, and tells her cousin, β€œGolly, them city fellers might think I’m just a dumb hick.” Her cousin says, β€œDon’t worry. Just do as I do and you’ll be fine.” After hours of dancing they got tired, so they sat down. Another guy comes and asks the city girl to dance. She smiles sweetly and says β€œI’m contemplating matrimony and I think I’d like to sit.” So when the next guy comes up to ask the country girl to dance she smiles confidently and says, β€œI’m constipated on macaroni and I think I’d like to shit.”

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πŸ“…︎ Aug 01 2018
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Early morning breakfast joke

Wife finally agreed to cook breakfast and asked "What kind of eggs do you want?" (How do I want them cooked?).

After pondering for a moment I responded: "I think Chicken eggs today".

By that time she was slicing a bagel with a knife and with a furrowed brow made threatening motions toward me with the knife... :-D

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πŸ‘€︎ u/chargen2
πŸ“…︎ Dec 21 2014
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she wanted the dog.

housemate 1. : "I'd love a beagle"

me: "what the space probe?"

Housemate 2. : "sigh* shut up...are they difficult to manage?"

me: "i'd expect so, it took half of NASA to put it on mars"

the response was furrowed brow's and giggles.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ridik_ulass
πŸ“…︎ Aug 17 2014
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My Dad trying to be clever in the Kitchen

My Dad and I were getting dinner ready when I quizzed him on how he seasoned the chicken and gravy mixture he was fawning over.

"Uh I haven't put anything in but the chicken, and the gravy."

"Were you going to season it?"

"Wasn't planning on it." he finished, apparently done with the conversation as his full attention was now on whatever football game was on. I decided if he wasn't going to take the initiative and make our food taste like something other than bland than I would.

"Here Dad put in some garlic," I said as i started grabbing spices from the cabinet.

"Some basil, salt, pepper, thyme... " I didn't see any thyme in here which was too bad because it would be just the thing for this.

"Hey DAD do we have any thyme left?" I asked him a little louder than I had been talking before.

"Time for what?" he asked, finally breaking his attention from the flat screen, a severely confused and almost worrried look cemented on his brow. And then, as quick as a camera lens closing to capture a shot, he winked.

.

.

.

TL;DR I'm pretty sure you have enough thyme to read it.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/erydayimredditing
πŸ“…︎ Dec 13 2013
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Getting dad joked while camping

i'm digging around in the supplies when my buddy asks, "what are you looking for?".

"S'more stuff"

to which he replies, "like what?"

My mouth opened and I just about repeated myself when my eye brows narrow and I look at him. he's just grinning at me.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/playerIII
πŸ“…︎ Jul 19 2014
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I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows to high.

She looked surprised.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Kilren
πŸ“…︎ Apr 18 2017
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