Friend sent me a timelapse of her folding cardboard boxes, this is how it went.
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︎ Mar 31 2021
I saw a sign the other day, "we sell moving boxes"
I guess they don't sell stationery boxes.
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︎ Feb 12 2021
We were moving some boxes to my son's car, when he dropped a Scrabble game and the letters scattered everywhere. So I asked him...
"What's the word on the street?!"
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︎ Aug 16 2020
Me: Dude! Come with me to the storage! I organized all the philosophy theses into plastic boxes with hanging files!
Unimpressed Friend: So, Crates...
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︎ Sep 17 2020
What do horses in adjacent boxes call each other?
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︎ Apr 14 2020
My customers keep complaining that they're receiving empty boxes with no contacts in them
but they're the ones that keep requesting contactless delivery!
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︎ Jun 04 2020
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︎ Jan 27 2020
My brother flattens boxes for work
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︎ Oct 19 2019
I keep having to buy new boxes of tissues
I just blow through emβ!
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︎ Jan 15 2020
I really can't make up my mind about boxes.
On the upside, they can be opened.
On the downside, they can't.
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︎ Aug 30 2019
My new job has me moving boxes upon boxes of pickles.
I find the whole procedure rather cumbersome.
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︎ Aug 11 2019
My friend is so proud that he finally got a waterbed with sliding boxes opened by pulling out and closed by pushing in...
Now he can wake up and jump straight into his drawers!
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︎ Nov 22 2019
I went to the store and bought some moving boxes.
When I got home, I set them on the floor and they just stayed there :(
-- As told by my dad
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︎ Aug 30 2019
My daughter was carrying in the groceries and dropped all our boxes of noodles...
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︎ Oct 23 2019
Lemme go buy some lute boxes
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︎ Oct 16 2018
Parents are supposed to wrap empty boxes to put under the tree. Then when the children are naughty, throw one in the fire.
But what if they run out of children?
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︎ Dec 11 2018
Working at sams club i would collect boxes as they would empty. A customer came up to me and said "can i have a few of those flat boxes? I use them when i change my car oil so it doesnt stain my floor."
So I say "of course, that's a great idea. That's really thinking outside the box."
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︎ Aug 18 2019
My BIL always draws pictures on our take home boxes. This is our MIL's
imgur.com/6JysP2g
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︎ Oct 10 2016
I hate music boxes.
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︎ May 31 2019
My son asked me this morning why the Cheerios boxes are so corny.
I said βtheyβre not, theyβre oatey.β
(This is a factual account of a real life event. Please send donations for childrenβs counseling.)
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︎ Jun 27 2019
My friend said that he wraps empty boxes to put under the tree. Every time one of his kids acts up,he throws them in the fireplace.
I asked him what happens when he runs out of kids?
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︎ Dec 02 2018
A group of kindergarteners stand single file, anticipating their daily juice boxes.
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︎ Nov 10 2018
Itβs really cool that prisoners are now getting juke boxes in their cells.
Seems like a great place for criminal records.
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︎ Aug 24 2018
What is it called when your lack of protection causes ornaments to break in their boxes?
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︎ Jan 06 2019
Kleenex boxes are like cheap mobile data plans
You think theyβre infinite until theyβre snot
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︎ Dec 20 2018
Dad jokes galore: Candy company settles with mid-Missouri man over underfilled boxes
A settlement has been reached in one of the sweetest lawsuits ever to be filed in federal court, but details of the payday are under wrappers.
Daryl White Jr. of Belle, Missouri, didnβt sugar coat his anger about paying a dollar apiece for boxes of Mike and Ikes and Hot Tamales that were only two-thirds full. Determined not to be a sucker, he hired counsel and paid the U.S. District Court Western District of Missouri a $400 filing fee to sue Just Born Inc., the candymakerβs parent company, for alleged deceptive advertising and unjust enrichment.
SOURCE
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︎ Nov 04 2018
Those boxes with the plastic wrap are pretty cool.
The side of it that separates the plastic is really cutting-edge technology.
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︎ Jul 17 2018
The whole family got new phones. All of us bought Otter Boxes to protect our investment, except my teenage daughter who got a Hello Kitty cover with no screen protector.
It was a worst case scenario.
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︎ Mar 30 2018
What would someone from Boston call a big pile of boxes of chewing gum?
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︎ Aug 27 2016
My dad likes to help cut up all of our cardboard boxes in the garage, and compactly pack them for recycling...
I joked with him about how the boxes are piling up and I need him to cut them up. He lives overseas so he said that if I buy his plane ticket, he'll come and do the work.
I told him that my gardener Ebodio will cut the boxes if I ask him to, and much less money.
To make my dad feel better, I (half-jokingly) say that Ebodio's technique is not as good and he will be slower, but he'll be a whole lot cheaper.
My dad's response:
"I feel like I am being undercut"
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︎ Jul 08 2017
While on a vacation last summer, my brother-in-law was telling me that he just got a deal on some really nice empty wooden Cuban cigar boxes as souvenirs for only $4 each - I replied...
"So, it was a good deal, but no cigar"
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︎ Jan 27 2016
I had to tape some boxes for my coworker today
I walked over to him and said "freeze, this is a stick up!"
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︎ Oct 07 2014
My pregnant wife and I are preparing for a move to a new city and she has been taping up boxes and placing them on the floor around my desk.
I told her that she is really boxing me in.
Can't wait until these dad jokes become official.
http://i.imgur.com/np9XSde.jpg
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︎ Jan 04 2014
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