I crossed the border into Mexico without much hassle. Crossing it a second time was fine too, but on the third time a guard stopped me and said β€œSorry

No tres passing.”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Dongwaffler
πŸ“…︎ Mar 26 2021
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What do you call three Mexicans crossing the border?

Tres passers

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πŸ‘€︎ u/garlicriiiice
πŸ“…︎ Mar 13 2020
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3 Mexicans tried to cross the border,but only 2 got through.Why?

There was a sign that said no tres passing.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/rhshi14
πŸ“…︎ Feb 20 2021
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What do you say when you cross the border between Sweden and Finland?

And across the Finnish line

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πŸ‘€︎ u/AnBuachaillEire
πŸ“…︎ Jan 16 2021
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Do you know the story about the chicken that crossed the border?

Me neither, I couldn't follow it.

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πŸ“…︎ Dec 22 2020
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Sick eagle crossed the border without a passport

He is now ill-eagle

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Water-into-weed
πŸ“…︎ May 31 2020
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Why couldn't the number 3 cross the border?

No trespassing

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πŸ‘€︎ u/pointyhead19
πŸ“…︎ Feb 24 2020
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I drove from Spain to France. A lot of ants were in the car when we crossed the border. Are they immigr-ants?
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MysticaIMemes
πŸ“…︎ Aug 11 2019
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If Luis Fonsi crosses the border...

...does he become trespacito?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/_MrFlippy_
πŸ“…︎ Feb 26 2019
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Why do Latinos cross the border two at a time?

'Cause they see a sign that reads, No Tres Passing.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/oposada
πŸ“…︎ Jun 16 2018
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Finland has just closed their borders

No one will be crossing the finish line

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πŸ‘€︎ u/AustralianGroan
πŸ“…︎ Mar 19 2020
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For having such strong opinions on border security, Donald Trump sure can cross the line.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/arthurktripp
πŸ“…︎ Jul 23 2015
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You can make jokes about anything, just not illegals

That's Crossing the Border

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Twigsnapper
πŸ“…︎ Dec 02 2018
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The man who saved Reddit

In the not too distant future, web censorship is pervasive; speech and freedom are strangers to one another; while pirates sail the seas with impunity, digital pirates are incarcerated by the busload.

Anyone who speaks out against this ban on open-dialogue or the free-sharing-of-ideas is ground down and hidden away, and the resistance is loosing its will.

A small group of contributors to reddit, huddled together in a bunker beneath barely-waving flags of Snoo, worked tirelessly to repost new ideas from around the internet, to release ideas from their chains, and make speech free ... again!

But it was not to be - a gang of the governments anti-piracy enforcers descended on this, the last bastion of humankind's will to share-freely. Arriving in an armored bus, ten shock-troopers breached the bunker and it looked like the day was lost.

Fortunately for us all, one brave redditor led the collective out a back entrance and they circled to the driveway. This leader told the other redditors to wait in the bushes while he overpowered the one soldier left guarding the transport. There was a flash of movement, a crack from a fallen branch as it struck the guard, and then, stolen keys in hand, the hero revved the engine and told the redditors to pile in.

He had to will himself ignore the gas gauge as he floored the accelerator on the 25,000 pound ticket to freedom - there was only survival or defeat, and nothing in between. Sirens came alive behind him as he rushed for the border to the promised land, to the Free-North.

As the engine begins to cough, the titanic weight of the transport cleaves the barricades asunder and the pursuing vehichles have to hard-brake to avoid skidding beyond their corrupt jurisdiction. Both exhausted and elated, the redditors follow their hero to the freedom promised by their new surroundings ... but their peril is not yet passed.

Though most of the pirate-hunters glower from the south-side of the border, one special agent has crossed over and is speaking with the border guards. The tension is thick. A long-faced guard turns to the newcomers, clearly troubled by what he must do.

"Folks," he says, a pained look on his kindly face, "I'm sorry, to do this, don't cha' know, but I got no choice, eh!"

Confused, the redditors look to one another, and tremble as they notice the agent's smug expression, greedy eyes fixed on the leader of the exodus.

"Look here, now, you are all welcome here, of course, and since speech is free here, we are

... keep reading on reddit ➑

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πŸ“…︎ Mar 23 2018
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Bacon Puns

Why didn’t the drunk Mexican druglord find the Bacon Tree? Because he walked into a Ham Bush!


Whats green and smells like bacon? Β Kermit the Frog’s finger! Why do we cook bacon and bake cookies?


Why did the pig go into the kitchen? He felt like bacon.


Which actor is now being quarantined for Swine Flu? Β Kevin Bacon


If you can’t get Swine Flu from eating bacon what can you get? A1: Obesity A2: Heart Disease A3: Hardening of the Arteries


Whats the name of the movie about Bacon? A1: Frankenswine A2: Hamlet Why do pigs go to New York City? To see the Big Apple.


Why was the meat packer arrested? For bringing home the bacon.


What do you get when you cross a pig and a chicken? The best bacon-and-eggs of your life.


Why did the pig kill the farmer? To save his own bacon. What do you call a bacon wrapped dinosaur? Jurrasic Pork.


What do you call a pig that can tell you about his ancestors? History in the bacon.


How do they get up there? In pigup trucks. What do you get when you cross a pig and a centipede? Bacon and Legs.


What would happen if pigs could fly? The price of bacon would go skyrocket.


What did the boy bacon say to the girl bacon? Girl, you’re bacon my heart melt.


What are they warned to watch out for? Pigpockets.


First Carter Page and now Betsy DeVos. Trump’s cabinet is like a game of six degrees of Kevin Bacon except with Russia.


Everything must be wrapped in bacon, including bacon.


If Kevin Bacon doesn’t whisper β€œHere comes the Baconator” before he has sex all my faith in humanity is lost


I’ll acknowledge Canada Day when they finally acknowledge that’s not bacon


If Donald Trump really KNOWS the average WORKER then where are the pics of Trump hungover in 7-Eleven buying bacon in sweat pants?


This guy ordered a vegetarian sandwich and then added bacon. It was like watching someone have a mid-life crisis and then find a cool hobby.


If we don’t build a wall on our northern border, they’ll soon be maple syrup & Canadian bacon trucks on every corner.


I signed an Executive Order to make Saturday morning bacon and eggs and pancakes with triple butter and syrup non-fattening.


My bedroom smells like maple, bacon and beaver…because I’m Canadian.


When the waitress calls you Babycakes you know you’re getting extr

... keep reading on reddit ➑

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Punsville
πŸ“…︎ May 27 2017
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One time on a road trip from Texas to New Mexico

Just as we were crossing the border, I look over and see a train crossing the border at the same time as us.

Me: "So if a train is leaving Texas and entering New Mexico, what state is it in?"

Dad: "A state of confusion."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/SteelyDanzig
πŸ“…︎ Aug 27 2013
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Thought this one up last night laying in bed...

Q: What is the greeting you use when crossing the border into bear country?

A: Hi, Bear Nation!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/chaosmonkey
πŸ“…︎ May 30 2014
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A sick eagle crossed the border without a passport

He is now ill-eagle

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Water-into-weed
πŸ“…︎ May 31 2020
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Why do Mexicans only cross the border in twos?

Because the sign says no Tres passing.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/LongShlock
πŸ“…︎ Dec 20 2019
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Why can't Mexicans cross the border in 3's

Because the sign says no tres-passing

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πŸ‘€︎ u/swiggetyswine69
πŸ“…︎ May 16 2019
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