Big2 Puns

this could be the most interesting, watchable, fun and competitive regular season of this century. Lakers big2, Clippers big2, Dallas young big2, Curry in mvp mode without KD and Klay, Zion and the young Pelicans, the young Hawks, the Nuggets with Jokic, Giannis with the Bucks... a lot of interesting narratives

• obviously Curry in mvp mode is not a 100% possibility, but we got a great chance to see him with a lot more usage and responsability

• Doncic/Porzingis will be great to see

and I'm just talking about regular season. playoffs could be savage

I don't want to step on anybody's toes here, but the amount of non-dad jokes here in this subreddit really annoys me. First of all, dad jokes CAN be NSFW, it clearly says so in the sub rules. Secondly, it doesn't automatically make it a dad joke if it's from a conversation between you and your child. Most importantly, the jokes that your CHILDREN tell YOU are not dad jokes. The point of a dad joke is that it's so cheesy only a dad who's trying to be funny would make such a joke. That's it. They are stupid plays on words, lame puns and so on. There has to be a clever pun or wordplay for it to be considered a dad joke.

Again, to all the fellow dads, I apologise if I'm sounding too harsh. But I just needed to get it off my chest.

(Planning on posting this to /r/baseball in the morning and figured I'd at least put it out there for smarter people (than me) to see before then... I'm not a statistician or a data scientist, just a hobbyist trying to learn stuff as he goes so any feedback is appreciated.)

###No, I'm not kidding...

I'm a complete sports statistics junkie, so when it was posted a few months ago, this post caught my eye:

>Jose Altuve is batting .278. He batted .278 before the All Star game and .278 after the All Star game. He batted .278 against right handed pitchers and .278 vs left handed pitchers."

That alone would have been enough for me to want to investigate, and then I read the top comment, which linked to this post, and my mind may as well have exploded at the thought of how astronomically unlikely this confluence of events must have been.

I had a few questions in particular that sprung to mind:

• How many times in the history of MLB has a player logged the same BA before and after the ASG?
• How many times in the history of MLB has a player logged the same BA vs. LHP and RHP for a full season?
• How many times have both of these things happened to the same player in the same season?
• What is the probability of each of the above events happening separately and together based on historical data?

These questions nagged at the back of my mind for a while and I actually tried to find a good way to scrape the large amounts of data for splits going back a ways but couldn't find a good way to do it... until last week, that is, when I finally caved and bought myself an annual subscription to StatHead. At long last, I had the means to answer all the questions no one was asking. So, here goes...

###Methodology and Results

First, to make sure my data was relatively uniform, I set three parameters for the data I would collect:

1. My data doesn't include any seasons prior to 1933, the year of the first All-Star Game.
2. I only include data for seasons in which a player had 502 or more plate appearances, which is the cutoff to be eligible for a batting title (under normal circumstances).
3. All my StatHead queries excluded incomplete data, which they explain thusly: "Play-by-play is mostly complete to 1954 and entirely complete to 1974. Pitch-by-pitch, count data, and hit locati

Do your worst!

They were cooked in Greece.

I'm surprised it hasn't decade.

For context I'm a Refuse Driver (Garbage man) & today I was on food waste. After I'd tipped I was checking the wagon for any defects when I spotted a lone pea balanced on the lifts.

I said "hey look, an escaPEA"

No one near me but it didn't half make me laugh for a good hour or so!

Edit: I can't believe how much this has blown up. Thank you everyone I've had a blast reading through the replies 😂

It really does, I swear!

Because she wanted to see the task manager.

Heard they've been doing some shady business.

but then I remembered it was ground this morning.

Edit: Thank you guys for the awards, they're much nicer than the cardboard sleeve I've been using and reassures me that my jokes aren't stale

Edit 2: I have already been made aware that Men In Black 3 has told a version of this joke before. If the joke is not new to you, please enjoy any of the single origin puns in the comments

BamBOO!

They’re on standbi

A play on words.

Pilot on me!!

Christopher Walken

Nothing, he was gladiator.

My daughter, Chewbecca, not so much.

Or would that be too forward thinking?