Son: 'Dad, would it be cool if I turned on the AC?'

Me, who got visibly annoyed: 'What else would it be???'

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Jay-ay
πŸ“…︎ Mar 03 2021
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My dad just told be a cool joke about drums

I thought I’d snare it with you guys

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/keeeeeeeeeev
πŸ“…︎ Jan 16 2021
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Found out I could talk to dead people, I thought it be cool but...

Its a newsense

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/KeyFlavor
πŸ“…︎ Oct 15 2020
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You know what would be cool?

Another ice age

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/fairywithcancer
πŸ“…︎ Jul 19 2020
🚨︎ report
Sleight of foot would be a cool β€œfeat” for a DnD character though
πŸ‘︎ 180
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πŸ‘€︎ u/YaBoyEden
πŸ“…︎ Jan 23 2020
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Me to my wife: Cool, the Grammies will only be on for a minute!

Her: looks at me, perplexed Me: They just said it’s the sixty second Grammy awards... Her: Get out

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πŸ‘€︎ u/sr3jan
πŸ“…︎ Jan 29 2020
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An American spy is in Soviet Russia, digging up information on a powerful Russian politician. He finds him in a bar, walks in dressed in Russian attire, pretending to be Russian. Everybody in the bar looks at him, but he keeps his cool. He orders a drink and walks to the politician...

"Greetings, comrade." says the spy, but before he could finish his sentence, the Russian says, "I think you are American spy."

The spy is alarmed, but being a skilled, trained, spy, he says, "That is not true! I am the proudest Soviet there is! I can sing the anthem more beautifully than any other man in the country!"

He then proceeds to sing the Soviet anthem, so melodically and beautifully, that everybody in the bar cheers.

"Very good, very good!" says the politician. "But I still think you are spy."

The man continues to keep his cool.

"I am a historian! I can tell you everything about this glorious country!"

He then spends about two hours recounting the Revolution, the Great Patriotic War, about how superior to the Russia is in terms of technology compared to America and makes a great argument about how communism is beneficial to society.

"Amazing! You are skilled!" says the politician.

The spy smirks.

"But I still think you American spy."

The spy is getting frustrated, but still unfazed.

He replies, "I am good drinker, a true Russian! Let us drink, and see who can come out top!"

The bar turns its attention to the politician and the spy, who are now in a drinking contest.

The bartender serves drink after drink of vodka.

After about an hour of drinking, the politician nearly passes out, unable to hold as much liquor as the spy, to a resounding cheer amongst the bar.

In the midst of the cheering, the Russian politician gets up, smiling, and in a slurred speech, repeats, "You are good, you are good... but I still think you are spy."

The American spy, piss drunk, loses his skill and gives up.

"Okay, you got me. I am an American. But what made you think that way, after all this time?"

The Russian politician replies, "There aren't many black people in Russia."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/honolulu_oahu_mod
πŸ“…︎ Jul 08 2019
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What type of vegetable tries to be cool, but is only partly successful at is?

The Radish

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πŸ‘€︎ u/jt_dunnski
πŸ“…︎ Jan 23 2020
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If being cool was an act of terrorism then I'd be winning the Nobel Peace prize
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πŸ‘€︎ u/crispybacon62
πŸ“…︎ Oct 11 2019
🚨︎ report
How To Be Cool:

A) Cool Sunglasses Emoji

B)

πŸ‘︎ 45
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πŸ‘€︎ u/RunnagL
πŸ“…︎ Jun 14 2019
🚨︎ report
Wouldn't it be cool if you could project cat sounds into other people's heads?

Ok, just hear meow...

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/KairuSmairukon
πŸ“…︎ Jul 23 2019
🚨︎ report
You know what would be really cool in Star Wars?

Hoth.

πŸ‘︎ 18
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πŸ‘€︎ u/greyzombie
πŸ“…︎ Sep 23 2019
🚨︎ report
I went to a boat store thinking it would be cool

but it was nautical shop

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jbnhrpr
πŸ“…︎ Jan 07 2019
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A terrorist walks into a bar and says I'm so excited to show everyone this cool bomb they're gonna be blown away!!
πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ“…︎ Apr 16 2018
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Ceiling would be a cool name for a band.

People who like it would be Ceiling fans.

πŸ‘︎ 32
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πŸ‘€︎ u/sebovzeoueb
πŸ“…︎ Jul 11 2016
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Tributaries used to be cool until they turned mainstream.
πŸ‘︎ 20
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Colacubeninja
πŸ“…︎ May 07 2018
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I used to be too cool for school

Until I started bringing a jacket.

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Noblenotes
πŸ“…︎ Oct 31 2017
🚨︎ report
Playing PokΓ©mon Go on the ISS would be pretty cool, but the data charges must be astronomical.
πŸ‘︎ 31
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πŸ‘€︎ u/boydo579
πŸ“…︎ Jul 10 2016
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Grandma wanted to be cool like the grandkids...

So she got her hip replaced.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Fwipp
πŸ“…︎ Aug 21 2015
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This guy must be one cool dad.

Edit: here's the image, if you want.

>/u/13thmurder: >I work with liquid nitrogen all day. Being splashed with it like that wouldn't actually hurt at all. You'd need to be hit by a constant stream of it to cause any damage, or pour it in your shoes or something. Prolonged contact does damage. Momentary contact does nothing.

>>/u/shagmyballs:

>>What kind of job requires this?

>>>/u/Bubonic_Ferret:

>>>A cool one.

Source: http://www.reddit.com/r/WTF/comments/1ypcvn/acid_in_the_face/cfmoecc

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/mollyfied
πŸ“…︎ Feb 24 2014
🚨︎ report
I went to a boat store thinking it would be cool

but it was nautical shop

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jbnhrpr
πŸ“…︎ Jan 07 2019
🚨︎ report
How to be cool:

A) Cool sunglasses emoji B)

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SoDakZak
πŸ“…︎ Nov 07 2017
🚨︎ report
How to be cool?

A) Cool sunglasses emoji

B)

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Galadon17
πŸ“…︎ Jun 01 2017
🚨︎ report

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