Robin: β€œThe Batmobil isn’t starting!” Batman: β€œDid you charge the battery?”

Robin: β€œWhat the hell is a tery?”

πŸ‘︎ 112
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πŸ‘€︎ u/rafwaf123
πŸ“…︎ Oct 07 2020
🚨︎ report
When you are in charge of the twitter account during national battery day
πŸ‘︎ 27
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DidrikNL
πŸ“…︎ Feb 18 2020
🚨︎ report
I just saw a AAA battery-delivery truck run a red light. Hope he doesn't get charged.
πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Jan 13 2020
🚨︎ report
For Sale. Old batteries, free of charge.
πŸ‘︎ 5k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Toffeemanstan
πŸ“…︎ Jan 11 2018
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the store giving away empty batteries? They were free of charge?
πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TacticalNintendo
πŸ“…︎ Apr 08 2019
🚨︎ report
Copper better be careful, if Zinc shows up they could both be charged with battery
πŸ‘︎ 117
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πŸ‘€︎ u/moses10960
πŸ“…︎ Feb 24 2018
🚨︎ report
If you charge them up again doesn’t that make them zombie batteries?
πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Benjmt
πŸ“…︎ Jan 19 2019
🚨︎ report
Can the barber be charged with battery on this?
πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/x3XC4L1B3Rx
πŸ“…︎ Jul 19 2018
🚨︎ report
I got a bunch of dead batteries today. They were free of charge.
πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/bama79rolltide
πŸ“…︎ Jan 26 2019
🚨︎ report
Where was the bunny taken when he was charged with assault and battery?

A Dura'cell'

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Mar 14 2019
🚨︎ report
I have a load of dead batteries if anyone wants them. They’re all free of charge.
πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/digdilem
πŸ“…︎ Jun 18 2018
🚨︎ report
I just walked past a shop that was giving out dead batteries free of charge. laffgaff.com/funny-puns-f…
πŸ‘︎ 18
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πŸ‘€︎ u/moses10960
πŸ“…︎ Jul 13 2017
🚨︎ report
Why didn’t the computer charge his battery?

Because he wasn’t c-able to do it.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Pdonkey
πŸ“…︎ Jan 29 2019
🚨︎ report
A police officer caught two kids playing with a firework and a car battery. He charged one and let the other one off.
πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/CheapCursor
πŸ“…︎ Jul 30 2018
🚨︎ report
We will never run out of puns now!

A giant list of puns

What do you call a fake noodle? An Impasta.

I would avoid the sushi if I was you. It’s a little fishy.

Want to hear a joke about paper? Nevermind it’s tearable.

Why did the cookie cry? Because his father was a wafer so long!

I used to work in a shoe recycling shop. It was sole destroying.

What do you call a belt with a watch on it? A waist of time.

How do you organize an outer space party? You planet.

I went to a seafood disco last week... and pulled a mussel.

Do you know where you can get chicken broth in bulk? The stock market.

I cut my finger chopping cheese, but I think that I may have greater problems.

My cat was just sick on the carpet, I don’t think it’s feline well.

Why did the octopus beat the shark in a fight? Because it was well armed.

How much does a hipster weigh? An instagram.

What did daddy spider say to baby spider? You spend too much time on the web.

Atheism is a non-prophet organisation.

There’s a new type of broom out, it’s sweeping the nation.

What cheese can never be yours? Nacho cheese.

What did the Buffalo say to his little boy when he dropped him off at school? Bison.

Have you ever heard of a music group called Cellophane? They mostly wrap.

Why does Superman gets invited to dinners? Because he is a Supperhero.

How was Rome split in two? With a pair of Ceasars.

The shovel was a ground breaking invention.

A scarecrow says, "This job isn't for everyone, but hay, it's in my jeans."

A Buddhist walks up to a hot dog stand and says, "Make me one with everything."

Did you hear about the guy who lost the left side of his body? He's alright now.

What do you call a girl with one leg that's shorter than the other? Ilene.

I did a theatrical performance on puns. It was a play on words.

What do you do with a dead chemist? You barium.

I bet the person who created the door knocker won a Nobel prize.

Towels can’t tell jokes. They have a dry sense of humor.

Two birds are sitting on a perch and one says "Do you smell fish?"

Do you know sign language? You should learn it, it’s pretty handy.

What do you call a beautiful pumpkin? GOURDgeous.

Why did one banana spy on the other? Because she was appealing.

What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.

What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef.

What do you call a cow with all of its legs? High steaks.

A cross eyed teacher couldn’t control his pupils.

After the accident, the juggler didn’t have the balls to do it.

I used to be afraid of hu

... keep reading on reddit ➑

πŸ‘︎ 20
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πŸ‘€︎ u/communist_scumbag
πŸ“…︎ Nov 26 2020
🚨︎ report
English sucks sometimes πŸ˜‚
πŸ‘︎ 6k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/mohammed_ziyadh
πŸ“…︎ Apr 22 2020
🚨︎ report
Why can't the power bank see his kids?

Because he has a battery charge

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jet_001
πŸ“…︎ Jan 03 2021
🚨︎ report
The other day I saw a bucket at the hardware store with a sign that said: dead batteries - $1 each.

I thought to myself β€œthese should be free of charge”.

πŸ‘︎ 8k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/corbimatic
πŸ“…︎ Jan 08 2020
🚨︎ report
The store near me is having a sale on batteries.

If you buy two packs, they'll throw in a pack of dead ones, free of charge.

πŸ‘︎ 7k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/brownie-mix
πŸ“…︎ Dec 21 2019
🚨︎ report
My Battery is dead
πŸ‘︎ 8k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/AutGamer
πŸ“…︎ Mar 13 2019
🚨︎ report
A local man was arrested for attacking his neighbor with a taser that didn't work.

He was charged with assault without battery.

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Sep 07 2020
🚨︎ report
My father always laughed at me when I got shocked playing with electricity

He’d laugh and say, β€œSon, you’re grounded.”

πŸ‘︎ 242
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πŸ‘€︎ u/GotMyOrangeCrush
πŸ“…︎ Oct 29 2019
🚨︎ report
AA meeting
πŸ‘︎ 4k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/moses10960
πŸ“…︎ Jan 19 2019
🚨︎ report
A man attacked someone with a small device for powering electronics

He was later charged with battery

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MasterCheezOtter
πŸ“…︎ Jul 29 2020
🚨︎ report
A man was arrested for beating up someone with a battery-shaped dildo

He was charged with sexual battery.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Reyzorblade
πŸ“…︎ Jun 27 2020
🚨︎ report
If I steal a Tesla...

... is it called an Edison?

πŸ‘︎ 4k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/show_me_the
πŸ“…︎ Feb 17 2018
🚨︎ report
I sympathize with batteries

I’m never included in anything either.

πŸ‘︎ 3k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jhabibs
πŸ“…︎ Jan 26 2018
🚨︎ report
An iPhone assaulted and robbed an Android for nurishment.

It was charged with battery.

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Apr 17 2020
🚨︎ report
The Energizer bunny’s wife is taking him to court.

He’s charged with battery

πŸ‘︎ 50
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πŸ‘€︎ u/frupp110
πŸ“…︎ Nov 07 2019
🚨︎ report
A Phone with 0% power was arrested this morning

After that it was charged for battery

πŸ‘︎ 20
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πŸ‘€︎ u/JimReaperSr
πŸ“…︎ Feb 28 2020
🚨︎ report
Chainsaws

A brilliant man created a new chainsaw that only required 5 grams of sodium chloride and just one AA battery to work. It was charged with a salt and battery.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/5Dimensional
πŸ“…︎ Dec 17 2019
🚨︎ report
Robin: β€œThe Batmobil isn’t starting!” Batman: β€œDid you charge the battery?”

Robin: β€œWhat the hell is a tery?”

πŸ‘︎ 11k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ItsDarthVader
πŸ“…︎ Oct 08 2019
🚨︎ report
I gave all my dead batteries away today .... free of charge
πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/_Uaint_
πŸ“…︎ Jul 27 2017
🚨︎ report
Did you hear what happened to the Energizer employee that beat up a Duracell employee?

He got charged with battery.

πŸ‘︎ 15
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Apache7G
πŸ“…︎ Jan 12 2021
🚨︎ report
Why was the Energizer Bunny arrested?

He was charged with battery

πŸ‘︎ 25
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Dec 09 2020
🚨︎ report
Of course he was charged with battery. How else would he be charged?
πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/rockmongoose
πŸ“…︎ Sep 29 2017
🚨︎ report
A giant list of puns from r/copypasta

A giant list of puns

What do you call a fake noodle? An Impasta.

I would avoid the sushi if I was you. It’s a little fishy.

Want to hear a joke about paper? Nevermind it’s tearable.

Why did the cookie cry? Because his father was a wafer so long!

I used to work in a shoe recycling shop. It was sole destroying.

What do you call a belt with a watch on it? A waist of time.

How do you organize an outer space party? You planet.

I went to a seafood disco last week... and pulled a mussel.

Do you know where you can get chicken broth in bulk? The stock market.

I cut my finger chopping cheese, but I think that I may have greater problems.

My cat was just sick on the carpet, I don’t think it’s feline well.

Why did the octopus beat the shark in a fight? Because it was well armed.

How much does a hipster weigh? An instagram.

What did daddy spider say to baby spider? You spend too much time on the web.

Atheism is a non-prophet organisation.

There’s a new type of broom out, it’s sweeping the nation.

What cheese can never be yours? Nacho cheese.

What did the Buffalo say to his little boy when he dropped him off at school? Bison.

Have you ever heard of a music group called Cellophane? They mostly wrap.

Why does Superman gets invited to dinners? Because he is a Supperhero.

How was Rome split in two? With a pair of Ceasars.

The shovel was a ground breaking invention.

A scarecrow says, "This job isn't for everyone, but hay, it's in my jeans."

A Buddhist walks up to a hot dog stand and says, "Make me one with everything."

Did you hear about the guy who lost the left side of his body? He's alright now.

What do you call a girl with one leg that's shorter than the other? Ilene.

I did a theatrical performance on puns. It was a play on words.

What do you do with a dead chemist? You barium.

I bet the person who created the door knocker won a Nobel prize.

Towels can’t tell jokes. They have a dry sense of humor.

Two birds are sitting on a perch and one says "Do you smell fish?"

Do you know sign language? You should learn it, it’s pretty handy.

What do you call a beautiful pumpkin? GOURDgeous.

Why did one banana spy on the other? Because she was appealing.

What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.

What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef.

What do you call a cow with all of its legs? High steaks.

A cross eyed teacher couldn’t control his pupils.

After the accident, the juggler didn’t have the balls to do it.

I used to be afraid of hu

... keep reading on reddit ➑

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Nov 26 2020
🚨︎ report
The Energizer Bunny was arrested...

...charged with battery

πŸ‘︎ 18
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/blur410
πŸ“…︎ Nov 13 2020
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the Tesla on auto-pilot that tried to run over a cop?

It was charged with battery

πŸ‘︎ 34
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πŸ‘€︎ u/pikindaguy
πŸ“…︎ Nov 17 2020
🚨︎ report
My local paper said the police arrested the energizer bunny

It said they charged him with battery

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/seatheous
πŸ“…︎ Aug 16 2020
🚨︎ report
Police arrested 2 kids yesterday

One was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks. They charged one and let the other one off

πŸ‘︎ 17
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/HellsJuggernaut
πŸ“…︎ May 17 2020
🚨︎ report
A guy walks into a bar...

... With him, he's got some sodium chloride and an Energizer. A police officer walks up to him and says, "Sir, I'm afraid you're under arrest."

He replies, "What am I being charged with?".

The police officer replies, "A salt, and battery."

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/djeclipz
πŸ“…︎ Jan 15 2020
🚨︎ report
514 Dad Jokes

What do you call a fake noodle? An Impasta.

I would avoid the sushi if I was you. It’s a little fishy.

Want to hear a joke about paper? Nevermind it’s tearable.

Why did the cookie cry? Because his father was a wafer so long!

I used to work in a shoe recycling shop. It was sole destroying.

What do you call a belt with a watch on it? A waist of time.

How do you organize an outer space party? You planet.

I went to a seafood disco last week... and pulled a mussel.

Do you know where you can get chicken broth in bulk? The stock market.

I cut my finger chopping cheese, but I think that I may have greater problems.

My cat was just sick on the carpet, I don’t think it’s feline well.

Why did the octopus beat the shark in a fight? Because it was well armed.

How much does a hipster weigh? An instagram.

What did daddy spider say to baby spider? You spend too much time on the web.

Atheism is a non-prophet organisation.

There’s a new type of broom out, it’s sweeping the nation.

What cheese can never be yours? Nacho cheese.

What did the Buffalo say to his little boy when he dropped him off at school? Bison.

Have you ever heard of a music group called Cellophane? They mostly wrap.

Why does Superman gets invited to dinners? Because he is a Supperhero.

How was Rome split in two? With a pair of Ceasars.

The shovel was a ground breaking invention.

A scarecrow says, "This job isn't for everyone, but hay, it's in my jeans."

A Buddhist walks up to a hot dog stand and says, "Make me one with everything."

Did you hear about the guy who lost the left side of his body? He's alright now.

What do you call a girl with one leg that's shorter than the other? Ilene.

I did a theatrical performance on puns. It was a play on words.

What do you do with a dead chemist? You barium.

I bet the person who created the door knocker won a Nobel prize.

Towels can’t tell jokes. They have a dry sense of humor.

Two birds are sitting on a perch and one says "Do you smell fish?"

Do you know sign language? You should learn it, it’s pretty handy.

What do you call a beautiful pumpkin? GOURDgeous.

Why did one banana spy on the other? Because she was appealing.

What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.

What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef.

What do you call a cow with all of its legs? High steaks.

A cross eyed teacher couldn’t control his pupils.

After the accident, the juggler didn

... keep reading on reddit ➑

πŸ‘︎ 77
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Josvys
πŸ“…︎ Oct 03 2019
🚨︎ report
Energizer bunny arrested

And charged with battery

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/King_Pinn
πŸ“…︎ Jan 14 2020
🚨︎ report

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