Bake Oven Puns

360 degrees. That way you get 2pi.

One turns to the other and says “is it getting too hot in here?”

The other replies “oh my god, your a talking muffin.”

"Mama said you can't hurry loaf."

Breaderen

She replied, "that's none of your biscuit!"

The ceremony was going great, until someone decided to toast the bride and groom.

She clearly has a lot to prove

The Pillsbury Doughboy died yesterday of a yeast infection and complications from repeated pokes in the belly. He was 71.

Doughboy was buried in a lightly-greased coffin. Dozens of celebrities turned out to pay their respects, including Mrs. Butterworth, Hungry Jack, the California Raisins, Betty Crocker, the Hostess Twinkies, and Cap'n Crunch. The grave site was piled high with flours as long- time friend, Aunt Jemima, delivered the eulogy, describing Doughboy as a man who never knew how much he was kneaded. Doughboy rose quickly in show business, but his later life was filled with turnovers. He was not considered a very "smart" cookie, wasting much of his dough on half-baked schemes. Despite being a little flaky at times, he -- even still, as a crusty old man -- was considered a roll model for millions. Toward the end, it was thought he would rise again, but alas, he was no tart.

Doughboy is survived by his wife, Play Dough; two children, John Dough and Jane Dough; plus they had one in the oven. He is also survived by his elderly father, Pop Tart.

The funeral was held at 3:50 for about twenty minutes.

There was once a man who baked cookies in his convection oven. He would share these cookies with all of his friends, and made many new friends by that same process. But one day, one of his friends left him, and never wanted to eat the man's cookies again. And that is how the man was forced to make a *convection confection connection collection correction*.

When he was put to death, his captors ground him up and baked him in the oven covered in gravy and mashed potatoes.

When questioned as to why such a cruel and unusual punishment was administered, they stated that this was the only way to correctly execute a shepherd spy.

He slid the loaf into the oven to bake. He told his son, “This bread is for a very special occasion, so I’m going to make a back-up.” He then plopped an extra loaf’s worth of dough onto the table, sliced it into two equal pieces, and immediately put them away. The boy asked, “Dad, why’d you do that?” The baker smiled and told his son, “It’s better to halve it and not knead it.”

And realizes that his cake batter was not turning out right. After a moment of panic, he had a sudden realization and placed the whole mixing bowl, whisk and all, into the oven. After 20 minutes he took the whole thing out and served it to the judges. Understandably, he got last place. When he met up with his family afterwards, his wife asked, “what were you thinking?” The man replied, “I don’t know, but it was a whisk I was willing to bake.”

My wife bought a frozen pizza that was purported to be the best frozen pizza, and supposedly you couldn't tell that it was frozen.

She baked it in the oven, got it out, and asked "So, does this look like a frozen pizza?"

My eleven year old son replied "not any more"

I'm so proud of him!

Me: How come the chicken is cold?

Wife: It is still going to be baked in the oven.

Me: Interesting

Wife: You always say things are interesting

Me: What an interesting observation

....the hero we knead.

Baking Begins The Oven Light The Dough White Rises

I've got oven preheated to 420f for baking sweet potatoes, wife course corrects and tells me she wants the oven set to 450f... "What, 420 isn't HIGH enough for you?"

Teenage kids reaction in the kitchen, priceless! Got a high-five from stepdaughter too!

I was reading my 3 year old a book before bed and one page read, "Minnie likes to cook" and showed Minnie putting cookies in the oven. My wife commented that you BAKE cookies, not COOK them. I replied with, "Oh yeah? Why aren't they called BAKEIES then? "

I work in a kitchen and I had just pulled a freshly baked lasagna out of the oven when my coworker walks by:

Coworker: Did that lasagna just come out?

Me: Yes it did and it's a little shy around other lasagnas at the moment but if you give it some time I'm sure it will gain the confidence it needs.

I had a smirk on for at least the next hour after that.

Here's a "classic" from my own father:

"I remember one time I was at my grandma's house as a kid. I was so excited to tell her what I'd been learning about in school that week. I was telling her about how we'd learned all about πr^2 that week. She kept giving me funny looks and telling me that I was wrong, but I insisted that it was true, we had learned all about it. Finally she took me into the kitchen and opened the oven, where there was a pie baking. She pointed to the pie and exclaimed, 'Pie are ROUND!'"

My mom accidentally baked the chicken upside down in the oven, then asked how it was.
My dad answered "good but since you cooked it upside down I have to chew on the other side of my mouth."

One muffin looks over to the other and says, "Man, it's getting hot in here." The other muffin looks back and replies, "AAAAAH! A talking muffin!"

"Holy smokes it's hot in here" - One muffin says to the other That muffin replies "No way! A talking muffin!"

"AAAAHH! TALKING MUFFIN!"

The first muffin turns to the second and says "Man it sure is hot in here." The second says "AAAHHHHHH a talking muffin!!"

One turns to the other and says, "sure is hot in here!"

The other one says "AHHH! A TALKING MUFFIN!"

One muffin turned to the other muffin and says, “Geez, it’s getting awful hot in here!” The other Muffin says, “Holy Crap!!! A talking muffin!”

Ahhhh! A Talking Muffin!!!!

The other replies "Holy shit! A talking muffin!"

The Pillsbury Doughboy, remembered best as "Pop N Serve", and/or "Pop N Fresh", died yesterday of a severe yeast infection and trauma complications from repeated pokes in the belly. He was 71.

Doughboy will be buried in this lightly greased coffin.

Dozens of celebrities will turn out to pay their respects, including Mrs. Butterworth, Hungry Jack, the California Raisins, Betty Crocker, the Hostess Twinkies, and Captain Crunch.

The grave site is expected to be piled high with flours.

Aunt Jemima will deliver the eulogy and lovingly describe Doughboy as "a man who never knew how much he was kneaded".

Doughboy rose quickly in show business, but his later life was filled with turnovers.. He was considered a very smart cookie, but wasted much of his dough on half-baked schemes.

Despite being a little flaky at times, he still was a crusty old man and was considered a positive roll model for millions.

Doughboy is survived by his wife, Play dough, three children: John Dough, Jane Dough and Dosey Dough, plus they had one in the oven. He is also survived by his elderly father, Pop tart.

The funeral will be held at 3:50 for about 20 minutes.

Veteran Pillsbury spokesman Pop N. Fresh died Wednesday of a severe yeast infection. He was 71. He was buried Friday in one of the biggest funerals in years. Dozens of celebrities turned out including Mrs. Butterworth, the California Raisins, Hungry Jack, Betty Crocker, and the Hostess Twinkies. The graveside was piled high with flours, as longtime friend Aunt Jemima delivered the eulogy, describing Fresh as a man who "never knew he was kneaded". Fresh rose quickly in show business, but his later life was filled with turnovers. He was not considered a smart cookie, and wasted much of his dough on half-baked schemes. Still, even as a crusty old man, he was a roll model to millions. Fresh is survived by his second wife. They had two children, and one in the oven. The funeral was at 3:50 for 20 minutes.