Backbite Puns

I feel powerless having to listen to all this futile and disgusting talk about other people, even about members of our own family and they put themselves on a pedestal thinking they're better than all of them, I feel powerless not being able to do anything about it.

We have a true friend in Jesus Christ.

What prompted this is thinking.

In today's day and age of social media, people like posting screenshots of messages they got that were embarrassing or stupid on behalf of the sender, knowing they'll likely get some attention.

Then you have a bunch of people putting said person down, without considering things like context, or maybe whether the person who was on the receiving end of the message deleted some messages to make said person look especially bad. Thing is, people on the Internet (well, people in general) tend to be extremely surface-level and simplistic, taking things as is and making them cut and dry.

Now don't get me wrong, I try not to be overly sensitive. If someone is legitimately a bad person or the banter and joking discourse is understood, that's fine. But we've all said something stupid and/or embarrassing, have we not? Tearing down people who meant well in any context (groupchat or social media screenshot) is excessively and needlessly mean-spirited.

I'm subbed to some subs like that, but what makes them different is that I'm not cool with these people, and the context is clear cut. (Think things like anti-racism, anti-sexism and so on and so forth). It's not something like r/Cringe where people tear you down for just saying something cringeworthy. Or just being human.

Think of it this way, who better to talk to about a problem than the person who's behind the source of the problem? Does this not create issues of its own, because now you're getting too much of one's perspective without getting the only perspective you need to get? It creates indirect communication with unfair treatment in the mix.

Even now, I feel like maybe I'm being hypocritical because I guess you could argue I'm doing the same thing. But when it comes to interpersonal relationships, I feel like people have corrupted them in a way that we haven't seen before thanks to social media. I'm not blaming social media but rather how it has been used. Communication in general seems to have gotten worse in a way, despite us having so many more avenues of communicating. Social media as an umbrella term, WhatsApp, Skype, Discord, texting, FaceTime, Gmail...yet not everyone wants to just talk face to face without unnecessary additional perspectives.

As a preface: think to the quote, "Great minds discuss ideas. Average minds discuss events. Small minds discuss people."

Often in life, we like to get involved in the latest gossip. That, or we like to look at people doing weird things in public. We may think, "heh, that person eating pineapple pizza is such a creep". As if we don't do anything odd or haven't been awkward from time to time.

And I'll admit it: I may have been guilty of it from time to time. That doesn't make it right, however.

Why?

For one, ask yourself - would you say these things to the person's face? Imagine if that person you were slandering right behind their backs were standing near you. Would they appreciate these remarks? Is the reason you're stating these things rooted in fear?

Two, why discuss these people to begin with? To piggyback off the prefaced quote - small minds discuss people. Perhaps this is oversimplifying us as individuals a bit, but why should it matter what that person is doing? We should be focusing on ourselves. And if you're focused on yourself and your endeavors, you won't worry about what any other random person is doing.

Three, the principle of the situation. It makes you seem two-faced, and untrustworthy as an extension of said two-facedness. I mean, when you look back at your life, are you really going to regret not saying more mean or potentially inconsiderate things? We all do some potentially odd things, depending on who you ask. Because we're all dealing with a melting pot of people who come from a variety of backgrounds, beliefs, cultures, and experiences. It takes more effort to attempt to understand than to condemn.

On top of that, everyone does the things they do for a reason. Obviously, recent times misconstrue what "don't judge me" means - to the point it's used as an excuse - but we shouldn't judge others, or even look down upon others for their weaknesses or mistakes.

In short, not engaging in any type of negative talk about another person is not a good thing socially. Especially since you may never know - maybe the person you're discussing it with does the same thing you're criticizing.

It's elementary, and perhaps even a little bit naive/idealistic, but if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all. If you do, then at least make sure you're not tight with the person (e.g someone you don't like and don't act friendly around), or you'd say it straight up to their face (in a graceful way, of course). Always look for the

The Kitab i Aqdas prescribes for the sin of fornication, hefty fines which double with each offense.

When this law comes into effect, how will it be implemented without backbiting?

In order for the LSA to find out about the crime, someone needs to report the fornicator to the LSA - is that not backbiting?

And then to determine whether the accused fornicater is to be put on "trial", the LSA will have a preliminary discussion about the person and what they are being accused of. If that not backbiting?

I often hear people say that Baha'is shouldn't be "judgmental". But when we get to the point where we start punishing people for grievous sins, that would require at least some people in the Bahai community to be judgmental, would it not? You cannot have justice without judges.

Alsalam Alaikom brothers and sisters.

As the title says, is it considered backbiting or gheba and namema if I speak the truth?

A little background behind this question is that I had a very close friend this past year who turned out to be a Covert Narcissist. What this means is that this friend always took what he wanted and if he doesn't then he manipulates people into doing what he wants by guilt-tripping them. When I finally started to sense that I was being used and wronged I placed a boundary that I don't accept to be treated like a doormat and a spare that he uses when he wants or doesn't have anyone else around and throws away when someone better arrives. After I placed the boundary, I suddenly turned into an enemy and he brought out my vulnerabilities that I've told him about when I was at my lowest. He then turned my bestfriends against me and kept saying things about me that were his doing. He projected his own flaws on me and he lied about who I am as a person and questioned my integrity and intentions even though we were best of friends just a day before I set the boundary.

Anyways, all the narcissistic rage symptoms happened and I was psychologically traumatized to the point I developed C-PTSD and had to go to therapy. As a result of the trauma (before therapy), I went around talking to people I trusted who were mutuals about what happened because I didn't understand then why was he doing all this. How could he throw all those years of friendship and throw me under the bus just to make himself look better by dragging me down for asking to be respected when I always respect his boundaries and still treated him like a brother? I was confused and my reality was distorted and needed to understand.

So back to my question, is this considered backbiting or gheba/namema if I went around telling people about this? Would it be considered so as well if I only replied to people asking about what happened with said person? Isn't this a form of warning for other people so that they don't get hurt the way I did by the same person, isn't this allowed in Islam that an oppressed can talk about his oppressor to warn other people about his oppression?

I know this has been long but I really need to know what's right. One of the people that asked me about what happened was someone that my exfriend cut ties with. After I told him what happened he wanted to know what the exfriend said about him after cutting ties with him and I told him the truth. Bear in mi

Quote by Umar ibn Al-Khattab

We've been good together for 2 and a half years and decided to get married 4 months ago. Marriage was going good until today, when we had a get-together at my parents house. My brother and his wife (my Sister In Law) attended the dinner (along with other good family friends). I know my SIL to be someone who trash talks about others behind their backs just to make her look good and make the other person look bad.

Nonetheless, a day before the party, I tell my wife "By the way, I know SIL to be someone who talks about others behind their backs and says bad things about others. If she does this, can you not support / encourage her (especially if it's about someone who we know to be a really good person)?". Wife says of course, she will definitely not engage in any such conversation. I then say "Awesome. Also, if my SIL starts talking about her husband behind his back (I've heard my SIL complain in public about her husband multiple times before), even if it is a 'joke', can you make sure you don't take this as an invitation for you to start talking / joking about me when I'm not there?". Wife says of course, she'll never do that.

Fast forward to the actual dinner / party. The other guys and I are having a good time downstairs while my wife and the other girls are upstairs. I go upstairs to grab a drink, and I hear my SIL talking about her husband (not surprised) and the other girls laughing (SIL was saying how her husband does not dress properly and it's so annoying and embarrassing).

I then hear my wife laugh and say "Yea I know, that must suck. Bob (assume my name is Bob) does this too sometimes, annoying how these guys can't dress properly, it gets embarrassing as the wife. We have to stop letting them out of the house dressing like that." Everyone laughs. SIL then says "Like, everyone else at work and at parties dress so much better." and they laugh it off.

Hearing this, I walk into the room and say hi to everyone. The people in the room start laughing because they think it's funny. I look at my wife and with a fake smile, I ask "you guys talking about me?". Everyone in the room start laughing again because they think my fake smile is real, but at this point my wife knows that this might be exactly what I specifically asked her not to do. Wife says "ya" uneasily. Without making it awkward, I say "I'm leaving at 11:30 to go home, if you want to come with me then just make sure you're ready by that time, okay? (the other option would be for my wife to a

Assalamu alaikum guys I just realised some of the backbiting everyone does and some of us don’t even know we do it so I thought I’d let you all know.

I’m a big sports fan and often when I’m talking about it with my friends we always say ‘this player sucks’ or ‘he can’t shoot at all’, surely this is backbiting isn’t it. Also we always say ‘this politician or president is so dumb she doesn’t know what she’s doing etc’.

It’s scary to think about how often we do this and how long we do this for.

Other than repent to Allah is there anything else we can do? As their celebrities it’s impossible to go up to them and ask for forgiveness.

For example, some students are sitting in a class with a teacher and the teacher says "I should've suspended that xyz kid, he was out of line..." when it was not that bad, and all the students agree and all. The kid they are talking about is not there and is disliked by these folks.

What is this clique doing?

Salam Sisters,

I am in a dilemma. So today, some classmates asked me why one of my friends was absent. I said she was sick with COVID-19. That classmate, who is also that friend's friend, laughed. He laughed a lot. In a mocking tone.

Naturally I was appalled because she was SICK and BEDRIDDEN. Afterwards, I told my friend, to warn her what kind of person he really is. My Parents said it was backbiting and that I should never tell anyone of other wrongs.
But I only said it with the intention of protecting my friend from such a person.

Was it really backbiting?

I just finished rereading the first series, and it just occurred to me that I don't think Rick ever said what happened to the weapon? It's kind of a really powerful weapon, so I'm assuming it was destroyed or locked away? Does anyone know? I'm just curious!

I know that it is a sin to gossip. But literally, there's nothing else to talk about. Whenever im having a conversation with my friends I cant help but get sucked into gossiping. aaah

My step family have hurt us immensely. I talk about my pains to her, but I'm unsure whether it's considered backbiting to even mention them.

Source: https://quran.com/49/12