No Auto-Correct?
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πŸ‘€︎ u/RogueDisciple
πŸ“…︎ Jan 01 2021
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I got my car horn fixed at a Lion King themed shop called Scar's Auto Body.

Beep repaired.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/JoeFas
πŸ“…︎ Jan 09 2021
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My brother lost his left arm and left leg in a terrible auto accident.

He is all right, now.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/numberthu
πŸ“…︎ Dec 16 2020
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I just read most auto accidents occur within 3 miles from home.

That’s it we’re moving!

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πŸ“…︎ Dec 18 2020
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Did you hear about the Tesla on auto-pilot that tried to run over a cop?

It was charged with battery

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πŸ‘€︎ u/pikindaguy
πŸ“…︎ Nov 17 2020
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Now that’s an auto motive
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πŸ‘€︎ u/JaSuperior
πŸ“…︎ Aug 25 2020
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What did the psychic say to her mother at the shady auto dealership?

β€œBad car ma.”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Unfussed
πŸ“…︎ Nov 20 2020
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I just saw a concert at my favorite auto shop.

They're a pretty good garage band.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/DestroyatronMk8
πŸ“…︎ Jul 16 2020
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The guy who invented auto-correct passed away today.

Restaurant in peace

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πŸ‘€︎ u/avianthon
πŸ“…︎ Mar 28 2020
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For the best auto body experience
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ProudTacoman
πŸ“…︎ Feb 11 2020
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When I'm really feeling stressed out, I massage auto parts to relax...

Sometimes, I just knead a brake.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ May 21 2020
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What kind of auto does Mickey Mouse’s wife drive?

A Minnie van.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/labink
πŸ“…︎ Dec 16 2019
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We Auto Know Better By Now

My wife and I argued for weeks over which Ford to buy...
it nearly Taurus apart!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/douglasses2
πŸ“…︎ Feb 04 2020
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Thus, Auto
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πŸ‘€︎ u/AndyMandyShandy
πŸ“…︎ Nov 20 2019
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At are auto repair shop we had a dog once drink a whole pan of gas. Dog ran, ran as fast as you’d ever see and then just stopped and fell to the floor.

He had run out of gas.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/gointobeathell
πŸ“…︎ Feb 13 2020
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Thus Auto
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TibiaChi
πŸ“…︎ Oct 28 2019
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The inventor of auto correct died last week...

Restaurant In Peace

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πŸ‘€︎ u/MrHarlz
πŸ“…︎ May 05 2019
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Apparently the inventor of auto-correct has died.

His funeral is next monkey.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Just_John_
πŸ“…︎ Dec 08 2018
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I can't stand practitioners of auto-cannibalism.

They're so full of themselves.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/RippleDotPenguin
πŸ“…︎ Feb 04 2019
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If your phone auto corrects "fuck" to "duck," it's okay to keep it...

It's still fowl language.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/fatandsalt
πŸ“…︎ Sep 10 2018
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I called my dad who works at the auto shop to see if they had any openings

He said, "ya, about six of them. They're the ones with the big white doors"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/mine_bunny
πŸ“…︎ Aug 01 2019
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The Amish have an auto-immune disease.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jefuchs
πŸ“…︎ Nov 27 2018
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The man who invented auto correct has died

His funfair is on Sundial at moon.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ElderHallow
πŸ“…︎ Apr 26 2019
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A man walks into an auto parts store and asks how much for a dead battery.

The cashier says "No charge."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/brammage8
πŸ“…︎ Feb 04 2019
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Did you hear about the auto body shop that just opened?

It comes highly wreck-a-mended.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Nov 24 2018
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Lord_Lazy
πŸ“…︎ Mar 09 2017
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I'm an auto mechanic...

So I can safely say I don't understand the gay agenda.

But I do understand the Trans Mission.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/FallenCypher25
πŸ“…︎ Jan 31 2017
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Auto Repair Shop Is Very Punny
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Trimountaine
πŸ“…︎ Jun 24 2016
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At the auto show looking at the terrible new design on the Ram truck...

"Let's get the hell out of Dodge."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Mitochondria420
πŸ“…︎ Jan 22 2015
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A great name for an auto body repair shop that specializes in fixing hail damage would be "The Dentist"
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πŸ‘€︎ u/dataxpress
πŸ“…︎ Jul 21 2015
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If you're having auto-correct problems, I feel bad for you son.

I've got 99 parabolas Burr bite ab it onedirectionfan69@yahoo.com

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Twigsnapper
πŸ“…︎ Apr 14 2017
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Got the girl behind the counter at the auto shop

I got my car inspected and the exchange when I went to pay was as follows:

Her: "That will be a $30 bill"

Me: "Hmmm, I don't think I have a 30 on me"

Her: polite laughter

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πŸ‘€︎ u/phildeez316
πŸ“…︎ Jan 30 2015
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Got my roommate while he was playing grand theft auto

He had to do an emergency landing in the desert and took out a bunch of cacti with his wing. Him: Stupid cacti, I didn't like them anyways. Me: Yeah, they were a bunch of pricks.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/The-Sofa-King
πŸ“…︎ Feb 24 2015
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When it comes to dads, every word means something. I hate auto correct sometimes

http://imgur.com/uU1lPk0

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Undew_
πŸ“…︎ Jul 03 2014
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Auto Correct Set Him Up for This One
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πŸ‘€︎ u/sonjathegreat
πŸ“…︎ Oct 24 2013
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Dadjoked an auto glass shop.

I was calling an auto glass shop for a quote after my gf's car was broken into.

Me: It was the driver-side rear window, yes.
Ok, and is there any more pieces of broken glass? Me: Yes, a couple hundred pieces in and around the door.... But no, no other windows were damaged.

Luckily the person on the phone thought it was funny.
My girlfriend did not.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/1600cc
πŸ“…︎ Apr 28 2014
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What is Whitney Houston's favorite auto maker?

HYUNDAIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEIIIIIIIIIIII

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TuskenRaiders
πŸ“…︎ Jun 24 2014
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