See, we can spell Australian
πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/orlanthi
πŸ“…︎ Jun 07
🚨︎ report
When you finish eating at an Australian Restaurant
πŸ‘︎ 152
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/remoestmoi
πŸ“…︎ Apr 14
🚨︎ report
This morning, I told my Australian friend that the store was having a sale, and that he should check it out. He looked up at me, took out his earphones and said...

"Good I might"

πŸ‘︎ 17
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/-taco-rice-
πŸ“…︎ Jun 08
🚨︎ report
He gets a mini heart-attack when the Australian waiter says "Check, Mate"
πŸ‘︎ 22
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/stunner19
πŸ“…︎ May 11
🚨︎ report
A man from Prague and his friend were playing chess at a restaurant when an Australian waiter interrupts their game. The waiter says, "have a check, mate. Your Czech mate is about to be in checkmate... oh, and here's the cheque, mate."
πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Repluse
πŸ“…︎ May 31
🚨︎ report
I was watching an Australian cooking show, and the audience applauded when the chef made a meringue.

I was surprised. Usually Australians boo meringue.

πŸ‘︎ 273
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Mar 24
🚨︎ report
What did the Australian say to the toilet?

Bidet mate.

πŸ‘︎ 20
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/dancunn
πŸ“…︎ May 19
🚨︎ report
Australians don’t have sex

Australians mate

πŸ‘︎ 605
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Toddler_Toys
πŸ“…︎ Mar 04
🚨︎ report
Australian's don't have sex

They mate

πŸ‘︎ 34
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/bobthespud420
πŸ“…︎ Mar 16
🚨︎ report
Watching an Australian cooking show and the chef made some meringue and the crowd cheered!

Surprising since most Aussies like to boo meringue.

πŸ‘︎ 38
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/hoosierdaddiesx
πŸ“…︎ Apr 03
🚨︎ report
What's the favourite type of cake of Australians?

Upside-down Cake

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/halfbloodprince07
πŸ“…︎ Apr 05
🚨︎ report
Sir, I'm Sikh. - Oh shit man, get well soon. (Especially funny with Australian accent, as Sikh and sick sound the same. Also funny because of how many people mistake Sikhs for Muslims. In no way intended to insult anyone for their beliefs. Just a funny pun.)
πŸ‘︎ 18
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/mutedloquacity
πŸ“…︎ Feb 02
🚨︎ report
Do Australians really say mate that often?
πŸ‘︎ 6k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Devanshi1618
πŸ“…︎ Aug 08 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call an Australian lawyer?

A liar

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/PygmeePony
πŸ“…︎ Apr 20
🚨︎ report
I was watching an Australian cooking show and was surprised when the audience cheered the meringue.

Australians usually boo-meringue.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Bu11et_farmer
πŸ“…︎ Apr 13
🚨︎ report
I was watching an Australian cooking show, and the audience applauded the chef for making a perfect meringue.

I was surprised, as Australian's usually boo meringue.

πŸ‘︎ 14
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/holiestofrollers
πŸ“…︎ Apr 04
🚨︎ report
I was watching an Australian cooking show and the audience started applauding when the chef made a meringue.

I was shocked. Usually Australians boo meringue.

πŸ‘︎ 54
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jan 23
🚨︎ report
Isn’t it odd that Australians are proud of inventing pavlova?

They usually boo meringue.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/MJ_Coop
πŸ“…︎ Mar 30
🚨︎ report
Why are brinjals Australian?

Because they aubergines!

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/hrishic2327
πŸ“…︎ Apr 02
🚨︎ report
Why are Australian dad jokes the best?

Because they are koala tea.

πŸ‘︎ 22
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Tungur_Knivur2020
πŸ“…︎ Feb 18
🚨︎ report
Australians are quite hot
πŸ‘︎ 19
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ArmyOfAretas
πŸ“…︎ Jan 29
🚨︎ report
A day old Australian fish?

Barratuesdi

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/mrgraff
πŸ“…︎ Dec 25 2019
🚨︎ report
Today while discussing game meats and a kangaroo stew I made a few years back, my coworker pointed out that with the Australian wild fires you won’t be able to get much kangaroo meat these days...

My reply without missing a beat β€” you’ll be able to buy it, you just won’t be able to buy it rare.

πŸ‘︎ 15
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/sockyg
πŸ“…︎ Jan 10
🚨︎ report
What do australian teens say, when they miss a call from their grandmother?

Oh shit, my boomerang!

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Soft_Chicken
πŸ“…︎ Jan 16
🚨︎ report
I'm not too sure about this Australian Prime Minister

He seems unkoalafied

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Jan 07
🚨︎ report
What do you call an Australian dog?

A didgeridog. :)

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Feb 22
🚨︎ report
Have you heard of the new Australian earphones that let everyone down?

They were noice-cancelling.

πŸ‘︎ 16
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/lpalokan
πŸ“…︎ Jan 20
🚨︎ report
I was watching an Australian cooking show and people started cheering when the chef made a meringue.

I was shocked, Australians usually boo meringue.

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/HellsJuggernaut
πŸ“…︎ Jan 21
🚨︎ report
Why didn't the Australian marsupial climb down the tree to drink the beverage waiting for him on the ground?

It was Low Koala Tea

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Talon184
πŸ“…︎ Jan 30
🚨︎ report
I don't understand why the Australian authorities haven't called out the lady sheep to deal with the fires. Everyday, when I was a child, Smokey the Bear was on TV telling me,

"Only EWE can prevent forest fires."

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/slowshot
πŸ“…︎ Jan 08
🚨︎ report
I was applying for Australian citizenship.

The interviewer asked "Do you have a criminal record?"

"No. Is that still required?"

πŸ‘︎ 78
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Valdagast
πŸ“…︎ Nov 06 2019
🚨︎ report
When you finish eating at an Australian restaurant
πŸ‘︎ 4k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Dankmonseiur69
πŸ“…︎ Jun 02 2018
🚨︎ report
What do you tell your Australian friend if he just missed a call from his pops?

Your boomerang

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/789_ba_dum_tss
πŸ“…︎ Nov 24 2019
🚨︎ report
Australian crocodiles can grow up to 15 feet!

Most only grow 4.

πŸ‘︎ 21
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/FrightinglyPunny
πŸ“…︎ Sep 04 2019
🚨︎ report
Never play chess with an Australian

You'll never know if "you're in check, mate" or if "you're in checkmate"

πŸ‘︎ 20
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/danlehavj
πŸ“…︎ Sep 08 2019
🚨︎ report
An Australian chess player went into a restaurant and ordered food. After having his food , the waiter asked him "Cash or Credit , Sir?"

He said "Cheque , mate"

πŸ‘︎ 22
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/PanPitza
πŸ“…︎ Oct 22 2019
🚨︎ report
A pun about eyeballs or a pun about Australian accents?

Which one is cornea?

πŸ‘︎ 49
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/TLo137
πŸ“…︎ Jul 29 2019
🚨︎ report
Can an Australian with poor vision clearly see the moon?

No, but a "good eye might".

πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/seudonim
πŸ“…︎ Oct 27 2019
🚨︎ report
I can't believe the results of the Australian Election this year.

Bill really got the shorten of the stick.

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/darthmonks
πŸ“…︎ Nov 02 2019
🚨︎ report
I heard that there’s an Australian tea harvested from the tops of Eucalyptus trees

It’s pretty high koala tea

πŸ‘︎ 34
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/dd0sed
πŸ“…︎ Jul 25 2019
🚨︎ report
You know what my Australian Shepherd's favorite cheese is?

Aussie-ago.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Linkjmaur
πŸ“…︎ Nov 08 2019
🚨︎ report
For all the Australian’s convenience so they can see the top meme without having to look upside down.
πŸ‘︎ 49
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/BMSAwesomeness
πŸ“…︎ May 13 2019
🚨︎ report
Damn these australians..
πŸ‘︎ 112
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/saintwithataint
πŸ“…︎ Jan 31 2019
🚨︎ report
What is Australians favorite drink?

Yerba, mate!

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/nichorz
πŸ“…︎ Oct 30 2019
🚨︎ report
What's an Australian's favourite chocolate?

Koala-ty street

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Ballbag94
πŸ“…︎ Aug 27 2019
🚨︎ report
What’s an Australian prisoner called?

An inmate!

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/validemaillol
πŸ“…︎ Aug 26 2019
🚨︎ report
I met a girl who can play a wooden instrument developed by indigenous Australians.

I dig her, I do.

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/coop0606
πŸ“…︎ Sep 06 2019
🚨︎ report
What did the Australian cowboy charge for kangaroo rides?

A Buckaroo

(My 3 year old came to me with that one this morning)

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/KiwiCandle
πŸ“…︎ Sep 27 2019
🚨︎ report
Australian chess players would have difficulty playing chess because it'd be very confusing to figure out if it's a check mate or a checkmate.

Posted this on Showerthoughts thought It'd be more appropriate here.

πŸ‘︎ 17
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/sangeemangee
πŸ“…︎ Aug 01 2019
🚨︎ report
Dad once tried towing a dogsled with wild Australian dogs.

It dingo.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Bigfoothobbit
πŸ“…︎ Oct 07 2019
🚨︎ report
Australians dont reproduce

They mate

πŸ‘︎ 83
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/da1-bois
πŸ“…︎ May 01 2019
🚨︎ report
What do Australian waiters, basketball players, and chess players have in common?

"Check mate"

πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/The14thGender
πŸ“…︎ May 19 2019
🚨︎ report
The Royal Australian Mint has game
πŸ‘︎ 35
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/purejawgz
πŸ“…︎ Apr 03 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call an Australian Soap show about horses?

Neigh-bours

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Mr-Unknown101
πŸ“…︎ Apr 17 2019
🚨︎ report
I was applying for an Australian citizenship

When the interviewer asked me β€˜Do you have a criminal record?”

I said β€œNo, is that still required?”

πŸ‘︎ 118
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/RealFletch
πŸ“…︎ Apr 06 2019
🚨︎ report
What instrument do Australian's play in Israel?

A didgerijew

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Childhoodcocaine
πŸ“…︎ May 15 2019
🚨︎ report
An Australian is walking over to a friend to say hi.

All of a sudden, his friend pulls out a gun and shoots him. As the Australian is bleeding out on the ground, he rasps, β€œgood aim, mate.”

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Undercover-Cactus
πŸ“…︎ Jul 21 2019
🚨︎ report
What did the Australian baseball coach say to the batter?

Good eye, mate. Good eye...

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/FartyFartyMcFly
πŸ“…︎ Aug 12 2019
🚨︎ report
I tried to pet a wild Australian dog once

It Dingo as planned.

πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Crukked
πŸ“…︎ May 30 2019
🚨︎ report
Why couldn’t the Australian marsupial find a job?

Because he was underKoalafied.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/KIrvine77
πŸ“…︎ Jul 24 2019
🚨︎ report
Native Australians were the first to develop the six pack muscle in their belly.

Ab originals.

πŸ‘︎ 102
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/sodomicity
πŸ“…︎ Dec 30 2018
🚨︎ report
An Australian friend asked me if I thought his bad eye would see better with glasses

so I said β€˜Good eye might’.

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/The_Nightman_82
πŸ“…︎ Jun 23 2019
🚨︎ report
Why couldn’t the Australian general win the war on bread?

Because it was stale, mate.

πŸ‘︎ 2k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/praesespilsbaas
πŸ“…︎ Nov 27 2017
🚨︎ report
A joke only Australians can understand

Λ™uǝʇɐǝ ǝq Κ‡,uoʍ noʎ Κ‡sɐǝl Κ‡βˆ€ ΒΏΖƒop ǝΙ₯Κ‡ oΚ‡ ʎɐs uΗΚžΙ”α΄‰Ι₯Ι” ǝΙ₯Κ‡ pᴉp ʇɐΙ₯M

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/EvBoy6755
πŸ“…︎ Apr 15 2019
🚨︎ report
What did the Australian chess champion say to his waitor when he was finished with his lunch?

Checkmate.

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/DJOK9R
πŸ“…︎ Jun 14 2019
🚨︎ report
Why is going to an Australian restaurant like playing chess?

Because at the end you have to say β€œcheck mate”.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Stoutgut
πŸ“…︎ May 12 2019
🚨︎ report
Playing chess with an Australian would suck. β€œCheck, mate”

No it isn’t...

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/shrimpysnow
πŸ“…︎ Jul 15 2019
🚨︎ report
What’s similarity between playing a chess and having a dinner in Australian restaurant?

They both end with β€œCheckmate”.

πŸ‘︎ 36
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/CptSlimShady
πŸ“…︎ Jan 21 2019
🚨︎ report
how well does a sick Australian feel?

a bit down under the weather

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/retoxification
πŸ“…︎ Jun 10 2019
🚨︎ report
My Australian friend and I were playing chess while talking about which European country we should travel to

He said "Czech mate"

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/RealComradeMeep
πŸ“…︎ May 04 2019
🚨︎ report
How are playing chess and eating in an Australian restaurant similar?

They both end with checkmate!

πŸ‘︎ 15
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ May 25 2019
🚨︎ report
What is a happy Australian's favourite emoji?

πŸ™ƒ

πŸ‘︎ 26
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Trinos
πŸ“…︎ Apr 24 2019
🚨︎ report
What did the Australian Chess player say about the mouldy bread?

Stalemate

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/SoloKnightNJO
πŸ“…︎ May 24 2019
🚨︎ report
An Australian is visiting England...

He is from a small rural town and he does not know anything about traffic laws and street lights. He crosses a street and almost gets hit by a car. A police officer sees him and screams: "Oi! Did you come here to die?" The Australian replies with: "Nah mate, I came here yesterday!"

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/kickypie
πŸ“…︎ May 22 2019
🚨︎ report
I was applying for Australian citizenship and the interviewer asked whether I had a criminal record.

I replied: "No. Is that still a requirement?"

πŸ‘︎ 24
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/BassWizard420
πŸ“…︎ Apr 13 2019
🚨︎ report
How do you call a friend who has an Australian and a Czech parent?

A Czech mate

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/TheBassMeister
πŸ“…︎ Feb 28 2019
🚨︎ report
Studies show that Australians rarely ever have sexual intercourse,

but when they do

Australians mate

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/AFGClips
πŸ“…︎ Mar 31 2019
🚨︎ report
Australian Emo in Captivity
πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/KonradSchwoerke
πŸ“…︎ Mar 04 2019
🚨︎ report
Australians are importing kitchen worktops from the UK...

....they call them pommigranites.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/cwwspurs
πŸ“…︎ Jun 17 2019
🚨︎ report
Beautiful dad joke delivery on Australian national TV last night

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xSf00ewCiko&feature=youtu.be&t=180

Includes all the important aspects of a good dad joke:

  • Innocent setup by unsuspecting teammate
  • Perfect delivery of terrible dad joke
  • High five from another shameless dad nearby
  • Look of severe disapproval from contest judge who can't believe you just did that in front of your entire country
πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/p-hodge
πŸ“…︎ May 08 2019
🚨︎ report
What did the incredulous Australian anteater say to his child?

Are euchidding me?

Told to my 2 month old daughter who thought this was hilarious! Or... maybe she just smiles reflexively... either way....!

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/montebella2017
πŸ“…︎ May 15 2019
🚨︎ report
Australians don't have sex

They m8

πŸ‘︎ 53
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/rafo198
πŸ“…︎ Oct 21 2018
🚨︎ report
What are you likely to here at both an Australian Restaurant and a game of chess

Check mate...

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/FoxRabbitnHill
πŸ“…︎ Mar 20 2019
🚨︎ report
Jason Bourne visited an Australian city to see his sister.

Mel Bourne.

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/TommehBoi
πŸ“…︎ Jan 24 2019
🚨︎ report
Chris Hemsworth is from Australia and Thor is from space, making Chris an Australian and Thor an Australien?
πŸ‘︎ 46
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/dbrine21
πŸ“…︎ Sep 17 2018
🚨︎ report
What did the Australian child say on their 8th birthday?

Oi mate!

πŸ‘︎ 33
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/--Giraffe--
πŸ“…︎ Oct 31 2018
🚨︎ report
What does an Australian chess player say when he finishes his meal?

Check, mate!

πŸ‘︎ 23
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/batnuna
πŸ“…︎ Jan 06 2019
🚨︎ report
An Australian Indigenius music student fails his midterm exam and tells his friend about it.

His friend asks, "didgeridoo it?"

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/aowle
πŸ“…︎ Mar 20 2019
🚨︎ report
The kids asked me why our Alexa in the basement has an Australian accent

Me: "Because the basement is down under the house"

πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/nerd_of_gods
πŸ“…︎ Jan 13 2019
🚨︎ report
My Australian friend was told he may no longer handle marsupials...

I guess you could say he has been dis-koala-fied.

πŸ‘︎ 72
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/CAdamH
πŸ“…︎ Jul 01 2018
🚨︎ report
Australians dont have sex

They mate

πŸ‘︎ 20
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/lord_nut
πŸ“…︎ Aug 25 2019
🚨︎ report
Australians don’t have sex

Australians mate

πŸ‘︎ 30
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/AfricanChickenLad
πŸ“…︎ Feb 27 2019
🚨︎ report
How do Australians have sex?

They mate.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/CaavGio
πŸ“…︎ Jun 11 2019
🚨︎ report
Australians don't have sex...

Australians mate.

πŸ‘︎ 24
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/fuzion129
πŸ“…︎ Apr 28 2018
🚨︎ report

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.