Why do people say an Asian Girlfriend is simply the best?

Because Schezwan of a kind.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Lord_Aarsh
πŸ“…︎ May 30 2020
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What works faster than a calculator?

A calcu-now.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/yellowlemonie
πŸ“…︎ Dec 30 2020
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Asian girls don’t poop...

...they take dumplings.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/simmsnation
πŸ“…︎ Feb 15 2020
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Two reactions to puns
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πŸ‘€︎ u/johnny123bravo
πŸ“…︎ Nov 21 2018
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What do you call an Asian man who always has correct change?

Exact Lee.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ProfessorFog
πŸ“…︎ Aug 25 2017
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My wife groaned at this one (Not in the sexy way either...)

One of my wife's bosses is from China with the family name Wong.

Wife was telling me that said boss just had a baby a few months ago.

(At this moment, my dad powers started kicking in...)

Me: "Huh, that's cool. When her husband visits the office next time, you should ask them if the baby's Caucasian."

Wife: "What?! Why?"

Me: Cause I wanna know if two 'Wongs' make a 'White'..."

Her eyes rolled so hard they detached.

Edit: Thanks for front page folks! Glad I could make you laugh (or groan...)

Edit 2: Thank you for the gold!

Edit 3: WIFE'S IN THE THREAD!! Abort! Abort! Wee woo wee woo wee woo

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πŸ‘€︎ u/hephaestus1219
πŸ“…︎ Nov 21 2015
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Tokenism is when your organization has only one PoC just for appearances sake.

If you have only one elf, that's Tolkienism.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Damnyoureyes
πŸ“…︎ Nov 22 2016
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The best oriental dad pun.

My dad was born in Japan. We're an average looking white family. My dad says he doesn't look Asian because when he crossed the ocean he became disoriented.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/cooterholland
πŸ“…︎ May 09 2015
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A conversation I just had with my dad about outdated terminology.

(Asian) Dad: -uses the term 'oriental' to describe Asian people-

Me: Dad, "Oriental" is too old-fashioned. You shouldn't use it nowadays because it confuses people.

Dad: Oh, okay. Would you say it...disorients them?

Me: ........

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πŸ‘€︎ u/sakikatana
πŸ“…︎ Jan 13 2016
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What do you call a lady that has 1 leg shorter than the other?

Ilene

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ahmadh26
πŸ“…︎ Apr 05 2019
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Am I ready yet?
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πŸ‘€︎ u/chrismikehunt
πŸ“…︎ Oct 18 2013
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A horrible, horrible pun

Two Asian people named Wong are expecting a child. They go to the hospital, and the delivery goes perfectly. But there's a small problem. The newborn is Caucasian. Mrs. Wong asks the doctor, " Why is my child like this?" The doctor says, " Well, ma'am, two Wongs make a white."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/jalcocer06
πŸ“…︎ May 30 2018
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Australians

So, I was driving home with my son today after I picked him up from school.

We got to talking about Australians, and I said I think Australians are my favorite people in the world.

He said "doesn't everybody like Australians?"

My answer "Actually, a lot of Asians seem to look down on them."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/AM4328
πŸ“…︎ Apr 04 2017
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Puns of Varying Quality on the Subject of Linguistics (created in a fit of procrastinative inspiration) some of which I thought someone, someday might appreciate.

Note: Quality Very Varying (I see what I did there) and sometimes subject to specialist knowledge. So I apologise in advance. Shame me with your better puns.

While I was languishing in the Language Centre, doing some semantics antics and considering how all the other linguistics students despised and derided me, I was accosted by a stout man with large glasses who made me a preposition. It was that I should collect terrible puns, to do with linguistics, in order to ingratiate myself yet further with the other linguistics students (including even the phonetics fanatics).

I'm struggling to think of a pun to do with grammaticality that both makes sense and "Is grandma tickly?" correct. I'm also stuck on 'morphologician'. (I'm not actually sure that's a particularly logical word for the subject, though I guess that's more for, er, more for a logician to worry about.)

The problem I have with writing about phonological variation is that one is constantly forced to choose between being fun or logical - very Asian!I always get in trouble with electricians, they think I'm calling them a 'dialectician' whereas in fact I'm just saying "Die, electrician."

I like pscycholinguistics – the only department of linguistics where it’s acceptable to wear a cycle helmet. My Australian accent is terrible but I like to think my Sath Efrican one is predicate. My favourite accent is Received Pronunciation, because it is the accent chiefly used by invisible Japanese people who are ordered online. When the first recipient of an invisible Japanese person got the parcel, they wrote a complaint saying "Received but can't see Asian" and the name stuck.

Why did the speakers whose native languages weren't English, but whose only shared language was English, but they weren't very good at it and kept on having to stop to think about it, stop talking to one another? They came to an agreement. (Get it? If not, write your answer on a pastecard and paste it to the below address.)

What did the 'a' say to the 'the'? "You definitely are ticklish, 'the'!"

Why was the small man eaten by the large bear, which was proportionately bigger than him? It had, er, relative claws.

I think the reason there are so many speakers of Russian is because they all partake in an activity called "copulae shun". (Ok, ok, I know, that was Pushkin it.)

I know a man called Hillary who can, might, should, did, must, shall and will ride an ox. We call him "Ox Hillary".

I always think the verb 'to be' in the senten

... keep reading on reddit ➑

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πŸ‘€︎ u/kieuk
πŸ“…︎ Nov 28 2011
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