Apron Puns

Doughnuts

I was checking out a chequered Czech check-out chick who was checking out some chicken at the checkout.

Donuts

You look like you knead it.

You need apron

But I think I've got potential. I'm a waiter. It was raining when I left for work earlier, so I put my apron on my head to shield myself. I thought of what I might say if anyone questioned me about it.

"I sometimes like to wear improvised nun hoods. It's not a very good habit."

..and all the servers are dressed in little pieces of their Halloween costumes (kitty ears, face paint). But one employee was wearing the Blue IHOP apron and the blue and white striped shirt. [dad] nudges my sister with his elbow, "look, he's dressed as an IHOP employee".

We were getting ready to cook some food for the family gathering we had today, and my mom pulls my dads camouflage apron out of a box. It had some writing on it but it was hard to read because of the color. She says to me, "I can't even see this." In which I reply, "WELL IT IS CAMOFLAGE!"

And that was the groan heard round the world.

Son: Dad, what's for dinner?
Me: fires up the grill
Me: It's a mistake!
Son: Why a mistake?
Me: Because she's married Mr. Steak!
Me: Ties Dad of the Year Apron and proceeds to grill some steaks

I was helping a couple with patio furniture and I told them to make sure to ask the cashier for the 50% discount on all patio furniture:

Me: If they give you any trouble, tell them to call Garden.

Customer: (Looks at my apron and points.) I thought your name is Chris!

I found a apron at the store that had tomatoes in a mason jar and said " I can, because I can." So I took a picture and sent it to a friend.

• Me: (sent picture) I wanted to get this for you
• Her: Why would you get that for me? I don't can.
• Me: But don't you see? You can can!