Shit..l meant to post this somewhere else.
Tanks for that.
A babooooom!
It’s a little meteor.
(Not a dad. But I told this to my dad and he approved)
But they’re a solid number 2!
With a pumpkin patch! 🎃
They weren't up to scratch.
bronco-die-laters
The steaks have never been higher...
now that she's de-calf-einated.
I said "aren't there?"
Because.....
It wasn't a-fish-shell
It's about Thyme.
When they ask, "So, what do you do for a living?" I just say, "Oh, you know... stuff."
It was so naanchalant.
One will see you later and the other will see you in a while?
Daughter groaned, employee laughed, other dad's nodded approvingly.
Because they don't have pockets.
I've seen too many of them get elected.
Which is strange because I'd never seen herbivore
I looked at it and thought, “This isn’t for me.”
I told him beggars can’t be Hoosiers.
I asked her to run away with me and get married, but without legs she canteloupe
Son: Dad why is the statistics in decimal?
Dad: Cause they've got a point.
Christian Bail
St Peter says to the nuns "Given you are nuns and have devoted your life to good works you only need to answer a single question each to enter Heaven."
He looks to the first nun and asks "where did the first woman live?"
The first nun quickly replied "the garden of Eden".
St Peter nods approval and looks to the second nun "what was the name of the first woman?"
The second nun pauses for a second and then replies "Eve."
"Well done!" Says St Peter before turning to the third nun and saying "As the Mother Superior you should be able to answer this; what did Eve say to Adam when she first saw him?"
The Mother Superior furrows her brow and says "oh, that's a hard one".
"Correct!" Says St Peter. "You may enter."
..Told him that my old one just wasnting cutting it.
(Neighbor approved)
It’s an extremely rare dish order.
My boss was complaining she really needed a nap. I told her she should just go take one.
Boss "Oh yeah cause taking a nap right now would be so easy."
Me "Its so easy you can do it with your eyes closed..."
Cue her rolling her eyes and shaking her head. My director peaked his head out and nodded approvingly though. Respect.
[removed]
Now British women are finally free to move diagonally.
One suggested secretly running away together to get married, but the suggestion was shot down when the other said, "we cantaloupe!"
