Me: *grabs chest* Quick! Call me an ambulance
Son: You’re an ambulance.
Me: I’m.... I’m so proud of you.
dies
I saw an ambulance with the lights on at the local mechanics today.
Guess they needed an emergency service.
My wife was going into labor and kept frantically shouting, "Call me an ambulance! Call me an ambulance!"
So I said, "You're an ambulance."
What a strange thing to say
My son accidentally smashed his foot on the table and as he was hopping around the room screaming in pain, I rushed to the phone, picked it up and asked him, "Do you want me to call..."
Earlier, I was driving behind an ambulance when a cooler fell off the back. I stopped and opened it up to find a foot inside..
So I decided to call a toe-truck.
Woman on the floor: help! Someone call me an ambulance
I'M DYING! CALL ME AN AMBULANCE!
Mom: "Help! I'm hurt! Hurry, call me an ambulance!"
Dad: You're an ambulance.
While driving the car, an ambulance passed us at high speed, sirens blaring.
I said to my wife:
"Can't see them selling much ice cream at this speed."
Why do ambulance drivers always have a partner with them?
Son: *having a heart attack* dad, call me an ambulance
Dad: okay, you're an ambulance
Azad Khan, a chef in a local Indian restaurant, overstretched and fell headlong into a vat of hot curry. An ambulance was quickly at the scene and he was taken to hospital.
Fortunately he is alive but is still in a korma.
Why does an ambulance have two seats up front? 🚑 For the Pair Of Medics
How many people can ride in an ambulance?
What do you call a guy who just had his arm torn off?
When ambulances go very fast...
do they go at fixneck speed?
Ambulance driver goes to a Bar to drown his sorrows.
Barman says ‘why you crying?’
He says ‘a bus containing 30 Karens went over a cliff’
Barman says ‘so why you crying?’
He says; ‘there was 5 empty seats!’
What do you call a guy who just got a leg bitten off by a lion?
What sound does a French ambulance make?
Ambulance
What do you call two medics in an ambulance?
A pair-a-medics.
My little brother fell off of a toy ambulance and started to cry then someone makes a pun
What do you call a guy who fell into a well?
I had to call an ambulance for my grandmother today
It came with the siren blaring “mee maw..mee maw..mee maw.”
When an ambulance zips past with its siren blaring: "They won’t sell much ice cream driving that fast.”
My girlfriend said she'd only marry me if I overcame my ambulance obsession.
I can't wait to get down on one knee nor knee nor knee nor!
In an ambulance, there is the driver and 2 people helping the injured
They're pair of medics
(Paramedics)
An Xbox One and a PS4 get attacked... Here comes the ambulance!!!
WiiU! WiiU! WiiU! WiiU! WiiU!
Oh god call the ambulance
Husband: "I think I'm having a heart attack." Wife: "Ok darling, give me your password to your phone and I'll call an ambulance."
Husband: "Never mind. I'm feeling better!"
What do you call a woman who sounds like an ambulance?
What did the lawyer use when he went fishing?
De’bait’!
or, alternate punchline:
Bating tactics!
Daughter: "That armored truck looks like an ambulance."
Me: "That's because it transports money going through withdrawals."
She hated that one so much I nearly wept with joy.
What do you call a man with a shovel in his head?
An Ambulance, immediately!
Credit to my four year old daughter:
Who does an ant call when they need to go to the hospital? The antbulance! Or the ambulANTS 😆
My SO's Dad every time an ambulance speeds past
He'll never sell ice cream going that fast
Hey Siri, I'm bleeding really bad. Can you call me an ambulance?
What do you call a vegan dog?
THE XBOX IS BEING ATTACKED!
THE XBOX IS BEING ATTACKED! Here Comes The Ambulance Wii U Wii U Wii U
Ambulance Girl
What do you call a girl that sounds like an ambulance?
NI-NA NI-NA NI-NA
Dad (having an heart attack): Son call me an ambulance...
Son actually calls an ambulance.
Dad dies of disappointment.
DAD: [grabs chest] Quick! Call me an ambulance.
ME: [hesitantly] You're... an ambulance?
DAD: I'm- I'm so proud of you, son [...dies]
My friend, dying: "Call me an ambulance!"
Me, leaning down: "You're an ambulance".
Dad, call me an ambulance.
Dad: Son, you're an ambulance.
Dad: Son I'm having a heart attack call me an ambulance!
Son: You're an ambulance
Dad: Not bad
When an ambulance zips past with its siren blaring:
"They won’t sell much ice cream driving that fast.”
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