Agreements Puns

A list of puns related to "Agreements"

Short people can't reach an agreement.
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👤︎ u/Outrageous_Desk_2187
📅︎ Jan 14 2021
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My barber wanted me to sign a long term service agreement before giving me a haircut, but I refused!

I just couldn't accept all those perms and conditions!

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👤︎ u/honolulu_oahu_mod
📅︎ Dec 09 2020
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Arguing with a woman is like reading a software license agreement...

...in the end, you ignore it all and click "I agree".

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👤︎ u/honolulu_oahu_mod
📅︎ Dec 19 2020
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My HOA agreement has a statement mandating we have an inflatable Santa displayed in our yard during December

There is a Santa clause.

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👤︎ u/omgwtfbbq7
📅︎ Dec 04 2020
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The Sykes-Picot Agreement is so crazy

I mean, it's borderline insane.

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👤︎ u/pianobutter
📅︎ Nov 24 2020
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Apparently there is bi-partisan agreement in Congress that medicinal marijuana should be allowed for the purpose of relieving arthritis pain...

In other words, there is joint support for joint support for joint support...

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👤︎ u/honolulu_oahu_mod
📅︎ Dec 20 2019
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My friend just returned from Britain, where he made many monetary agreements...

I said to him, "you've been pact-ing on some pounds lately, huh?"

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👤︎ u/thomasbrakeline
📅︎ May 01 2020
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I used to own 3 ski lodges, one in the Alps, one in Aspen and one in France. When I got divorced the first 2 times, my exes each got a lodge as part of the settlement. The third marriage, I decided I needed a prenuptial agreement to cover my assets. It was all I could do!

It's my last resort!

Edit: changed "it was" to "it's"

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👤︎ u/thomasbrakeline
📅︎ Jan 08 2020
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The Mad Hatter and the Queen of Hearts had a rental agreement

A lease in Wonderland

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👤︎ u/Kippekok
📅︎ Aug 04 2019
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Why shouldn’t you make a agreement with Wolverine?

Because of his retractable clause

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👤︎ u/silentknight1991
📅︎ Feb 27 2019
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My two Vietnamese friends recently came to an agreement that benefits everyone.

It was a Nguyen-Nguyen situation.

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👤︎ u/Spokandyland
📅︎ Dec 04 2018
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If the US and Canada cant come to an agreement on NAFTA, we are in trouble. Transfer speeds are going to plummet

Without a US BC connection.

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👤︎ u/Glen_Chervin
📅︎ Sep 01 2018
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When you join a convent, do you have to sign a Nun disclosure agreement?
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👤︎ u/aetweedie
📅︎ Feb 18 2016
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"Back so soon? I thought you went for a haircut, dad?" asked my son. "Well..." I replied. "My barber wanted me to sign a long term service agreement before giving me a haircut, but I refused."

"I couldn't accept all those perms and conditions."

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👤︎ u/madazzahatter
📅︎ Jul 31 2020
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Arguing with your wife is like reading a software license agreement. In the end...

...you ignore it all and click, "I agree"!

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👤︎ u/madazzahatter
📅︎ Apr 17 2020
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Arguing with my wife is like reading a software license agreement

In the end, I ignore it all and click "I agree".

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👤︎ u/honolulu_oahu_mod
📅︎ May 02 2019
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Arguing with a woman is like reading a software license agreement...

...in the end, you ignore it all and click "I agree".

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👤︎ u/__Odelay__
📅︎ Aug 08 2018
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Arguing with my wife is like reading a software license agreement...

...in the end, I ignore it all and click "I agree."

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👤︎ u/madazzahatter
📅︎ Jun 01 2018
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Apparently there is bi-partisan agreement in Congress that medicinal marijuana should be allowed for the purpose of relieving arthritic pain.

In other words, there is joint support for joint support for joint support.

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👤︎ u/fatandsalt
📅︎ Sep 22 2018
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Arguing with a woman is like reading a software license agreement...

...in the end, you ignore it all and click "I agree".

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👤︎ u/madazzahatter
📅︎ Aug 25 2017
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