Short people can't reach an agreement.
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πŸ“…︎ Jan 14 2021
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My barber wanted me to sign a long term service agreement before giving me a haircut, but I refused!

I just couldn't accept all those perms and conditions!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/honolulu_oahu_mod
πŸ“…︎ Dec 09 2020
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Arguing with a woman is like reading a software license agreement...

...in the end, you ignore it all and click "I agree".

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πŸ‘€︎ u/honolulu_oahu_mod
πŸ“…︎ Dec 19 2020
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My HOA agreement has a statement mandating we have an inflatable Santa displayed in our yard during December

There is a Santa clause.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/omgwtfbbq7
πŸ“…︎ Dec 04 2020
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The Sykes-Picot Agreement is so crazy

I mean, it's borderline insane.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/pianobutter
πŸ“…︎ Nov 24 2020
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Apparently there is bi-partisan agreement in Congress that medicinal marijuana should be allowed for the purpose of relieving arthritis pain...

In other words, there is joint support for joint support for joint support...

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πŸ‘€︎ u/honolulu_oahu_mod
πŸ“…︎ Dec 20 2019
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My friend just returned from Britain, where he made many monetary agreements...

I said to him, "you've been pact-ing on some pounds lately, huh?"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ May 01 2020
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I used to own 3 ski lodges, one in the Alps, one in Aspen and one in France. When I got divorced the first 2 times, my exes each got a lodge as part of the settlement. The third marriage, I decided I needed a prenuptial agreement to cover my assets. It was all I could do!

It's my last resort!

Edit: changed "it was" to "it's"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Jan 08 2020
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The Mad Hatter and the Queen of Hearts had a rental agreement

A lease in Wonderland

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Kippekok
πŸ“…︎ Aug 04 2019
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Why shouldn’t you make a agreement with Wolverine?

Because of his retractable clause

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πŸ‘€︎ u/silentknight1991
πŸ“…︎ Feb 27 2019
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My two Vietnamese friends recently came to an agreement that benefits everyone.

It was a Nguyen-Nguyen situation.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Spokandyland
πŸ“…︎ Dec 04 2018
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If the US and Canada cant come to an agreement on NAFTA, we are in trouble. Transfer speeds are going to plummet

Without a US BC connection.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Glen_Chervin
πŸ“…︎ Sep 01 2018
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When you join a convent, do you have to sign a Nun disclosure agreement?
πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/aetweedie
πŸ“…︎ Feb 18 2016
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"Back so soon? I thought you went for a haircut, dad?" asked my son. "Well..." I replied. "My barber wanted me to sign a long term service agreement before giving me a haircut, but I refused."

"I couldn't accept all those perms and conditions."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ Jul 31 2020
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Arguing with your wife is like reading a software license agreement. In the end...

...you ignore it all and click, "I agree"!

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ Apr 17 2020
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Arguing with my wife is like reading a software license agreement

In the end, I ignore it all and click "I agree".

πŸ‘︎ 137
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πŸ‘€︎ u/honolulu_oahu_mod
πŸ“…︎ May 02 2019
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Arguing with a woman is like reading a software license agreement...

...in the end, you ignore it all and click "I agree".

πŸ‘︎ 101
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πŸ‘€︎ u/__Odelay__
πŸ“…︎ Aug 08 2018
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Arguing with my wife is like reading a software license agreement...

...in the end, I ignore it all and click "I agree."

πŸ‘︎ 112
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πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ Jun 01 2018
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Apparently there is bi-partisan agreement in Congress that medicinal marijuana should be allowed for the purpose of relieving arthritic pain.

In other words, there is joint support for joint support for joint support.

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/fatandsalt
πŸ“…︎ Sep 22 2018
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Arguing with a woman is like reading a software license agreement...

...in the end, you ignore it all and click "I agree".

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ Aug 25 2017
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