After Party Puns

I (27F) got engaged around a month ago to my lovely boyfriend (28M) of six years. My fiance works in the tech industry and makes a very good amount. For our engagement, my fiance ended up picking probably the most perfect ring for me. It was very expensive, however, and he refused to tell me the exact price and just said it was upwards of $40k.

We plan on holding an engagement party with our closest friends at a lake house next weekend. I've already sent out the invites to my inner circle and all of them have RSVPd saying they could make it, including the friend in question, "Amy". Amy and I met at my work and have been close friends for about four years. However, she is definitely my most complicated friendship. Amy (25F) is a young single mom and has struggled financially. Throughout the years, I have offered a lot of financial support to her such as paying for her meals and trips, paying for her daughter's school trips and gifts, purchasing home goods for them, etc.

Last weekend, Amy and I went to brunch and she asked to see my ring. She immediately asked me how much he paid for it and I refused to tell her the amount, just stating that it was probably pretty expensive. Then she said, "It looks like it's at least $50,000...Don't you think it's kind of shitty to spend that much on a ring when even a fifth of that money could've pulled a family out of poverty?" I was frankly shocked when she made that comment. I'm a firm believer that you should never tell someone how to spend their money, especially if they're a close friend who's trying to share a happy moment with you. I tried lightening up the situation, but then she pushed further and said, "But seriously though...he could've donated half of that to a nice charity and probably saved many lives. Wow, rich people really surprise me sometimes."

After reflecting on the situation, I decided I was not comfortable with Amy coming to the engagement party anymore. It takes me a while to get over rude comments like hers and I just did not want any tension/unresolved anger at our celebration. I shot her a text explaining how her comments were upsetting to me and how her words were not only demeaning, but disrespectful. As a result, I told her I would no longer feel comfortable with her attending my engagement party. I told her I hope we can talk through this issue more, but that my decision regarding the party was final.

She responded shortly after apologizing for the comment and said how she didn't know

I (29M) broke up with my ex girlfriend over 5 years ago when I caught her cheating on me. We had a 7 month old son that I learned wasn’t mine after I demanded a paternity test and so I was out of his life after that. It hurt going through all that but what hurt the most was some people in my family being against me leaving “my son.” Some stopped talking to me, others I stopped talking to like my mom because she still wanted to accept my ex’s kid like her first grandchild. So I said fine and cut contact. Last year I had my first son. We celebrated his one year birthday on the 1st of this month. When my girlfriend got pregnant my mom reached out and wanted to make amends. For us to be in eachother’s lives. She said she hasn’t had any more contact with ex. I was mostly thinking for my son and that it would be nice for him to know his grandma so I gave her a chance.

On the actual day of my son’s birthday, my brother saw my mom first and goes “oh shit.” He saw her getting out of the car with my ex’s kid from the window and he told me. My brother told me he had no idea she was gonna bring the kid and said he’ll keep her outside if I want. I went outside instead and my mom had the kid wait in the car while we talked.

I was so pissed I remember yelling at her for trying to bring him to my son’s birthday. My mom kept apologizing for hiding it she just felt really bad because his real dad doesn’t want to be involved. And they still have pictures of me and him from when he was a baby so he still thinks he’s my kid. It was hard not to lose anymore of my cool so I just remember saying “get the fuck out and don’t ever come back or bring him around again.” It was a whole thing and everyone who was already there saw it play out. My mom left and my brothers were trying to cheer me up and get the party back in a happy mood for my son.

Some family were in a bad mood and they left early. The shit storm happened after that and they’re mad for how I treated my mom. Even she’s said something too that she’s hurt how much I disrespected her and she knows it was wrong to lie, but she was really trying to make it easier on ex’s son by making him feel part of a family. She really thinks I need to give him a chance because I “loved him once.” I just hung up on her.

Still everyone’s on me calling me a a-hole for callously kicking her out for having good intentions even if they were misplaced. AITA?

My son had his birthday party on Saturday, his uncle owns a pool so we did the party at his house. Now this one woman call her Maria comes, she decides to stay for the party. We didn’t mind; we only brought food for my sons friends but if we needed to we could order more food.

This is where things get awkward she decides she wants to get into the pool too. However she only has swimsuit bottoms on.. for a top she just has a T shirt and no bra. Now there would be one thing if this party was just for adults but this party is meant for our kids..

I asked her kindly, hey Maria if you are gonna swim in our pool please put on some actual swim wear. She goes nope I am just fine with this. I am like it’s just not the most appropriate we have children around. She then gets snippy with me and is like if your husband and son can’t control themselves then they need to leave, my breasts are for feeding babies. I then sternly said to her hey Maria, I don’t want to embarrass you in front of your son but please leave the pool. She gets angry gets out of the pool and says that she didn’t even want to stay and takes her son home.

Lucky most of the kids were inside the house when I confronted her so its not as if they saw the argument. She then went onto say that All the men were checking her out… And I don’t want to be mean in saying this but just to clarify no one was checking her out, Maria is on the other end of the BMI scale. She purposely was doing stuff to try to be provocative in the pool. And also by the end of it none of the other kids were in the pool she was just there by herself.

I don’t know, like I am okay with hey you want to get into the pool. Like lets say our children were young and you wanted to get in the pool with them for safety. Perfectly fine. This was a party for just adults sure. But this was a party for teenagers, and teenage boys at that. Also it seemed that Maria was just tryin to be provocative.

So my sister (25F) lives with her new husband and his whole family, she lives in a house seperate from the main family home. I was asked to babysit my niece (4) and nephew (2) for the day and was happy to oblige as I’ve just moved back overseas and have missed my family like crazy. So myself (22F) and partner (22M) get there at 2pm and sister says she’ll be back by 7pm which is fine. I fed the kids and put them in bed before 7pm before she and her husband get home. I then find out they are having my sister in laws birthday party (24F) (my sisters husbands sister) at the main house. My sister and husband spend most of the night at the party and I stay in their home watching the kids, who keep waking up due to the loud party going on outside there window. I was happy to stay a few extra hours so everyone can have a good time. When it hits about 11pm I go and tell my sister I’m leaving as I’m tired and have been here for 9 hours and just want to go home and rest as I have no chance of resting at their house with the noise and the children constantly waking up. I also went and said hello to everyone at the party and made polite small talk even though I’m very introverted and barely knew anyone. My sister in law is very drunk at this point and spills a whole glass of wine of me and my purse, she just looks at me when it happened and continues dancing. I go and pack my bag and put everything in the car and go to stay goodbye to my sister, who is now in the room with the children trying to get them back to sleep. I leave the kids room and I am immediately questioned by my sister in law. “Where are you going” “Are you going home?” Which I respond with “Yes I’m tired and I never realised that my sister wanted me to stay the whole night so I’m going home”. She proceeded to scream at me about how I’m an awful Aunty and I can’t do this to the kids after I promised my sister I would babysit. Keep in mind I barely know my sister in law, I’ve lived overseas for the past 8 years and have only just moved back to be with my family. She made me feel awful about leaving and wanting to go home. She said it was all my responsibility and I was abandoning the children. I was under the impression that I wasn’t going to be staying the night and also didn’t know there would be a huge party going on. So am I the asshole? Because I sure feel like it.