What do you call a financial advisor?

A CheezWhiz!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/s8anscumrag
πŸ“…︎ May 17 2021
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What do you call a Scary financial advisor

Pennywise.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Ax3-_-
πŸ“…︎ May 17 2021
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My financial advisor wants me to do the whole investor thing.

I bought the vest, any recommendations on a good tour I can take? So I can do my In Vest Tour

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Stampeed13
πŸ“…︎ Mar 04 2021
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My son was rejected from Indiana University. Feeling persistent, he asked me if he should call one of the advisors and plead for admission.

I told him beggars can’t be Hoosiers.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/zedhead0628
πŸ“…︎ Jun 16 2020
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What’s every college advisor’s favorite movie?

Requisite for a Dream.

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πŸ“…︎ Jul 12 2020
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Advisors: Mr president you can't just buy Greenland.!! That's ridiculous! Trump: but then how come
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jithu97
πŸ“…︎ Dec 30 2019
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My financial advisor just told me, β€œI’m sorry to say, but all of your assets are Frozen.”

..”Why did you buy so many DVDs of the same movie?”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Sep 19 2019
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My academic advisor keeps encouraging me to drop out.

Thanks to him, I’m soon graduating from the Sky Diving school.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Dec 06 2019
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I used to be a financial advisor for the military..

One time a contractor approached me and asked if I wanted to buy some panzers that his company built.

I considered it for a while but remembered that the air force needed to get new fighter jets.

I turn back to the contractor and say, β€œsorry, but we just don’t have enough room in the budget. Thanks but no tanks.”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/The_Bandit_TFR
πŸ“…︎ Aug 19 2019
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Why was the financial advisor the strongest man in the world?

He couldn’t lift a mountain, but he could budget.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/linknt01
πŸ“…︎ Nov 03 2019
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What do you call a crappy financial advisor?

An income-poop

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πŸ‘€︎ u/changhaobyu
πŸ“…︎ Nov 29 2018
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Did you hear about the curious case of the Mafia don who required his family members and advisors to ring a bell before entering his office?

He was found dead with a brass handle in his hand.

They’re calling it the Mystery of the Knock-Less Mobster.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/SapperInTexas
πŸ“…︎ Mar 29 2016
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My financial advisor must've been listening to 80s hair bands

He told me to put my retirement money in a David Lee Roth IRA

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πŸ‘€︎ u/WalkThisWhey
πŸ“…︎ Jun 15 2016
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Vatican bankers have to wear priestly raiment to work

Because they’re in-vestment advisors.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/zamoose
πŸ“…︎ Jan 24 2021
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In college, we had a buddy who always gave us suggestions as to what booze or drugs to try.

He was the original trip advisor.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jan 16 2021
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My daughter keeps putting my golf visors on all of her stuffed animals

She told me they call her the queen advisor

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πŸ“…︎ Dec 02 2020
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[request] puns with the word 'jenga' for senior jersey

So we're in year 12 of high school and we all get jerseys, including our year advisor teachers who've let us, the students, decide their jersey name. Usually the jersey name is a witty pun or joke which uses the wearer's name.

One of the teachers has a last name which sounds exactly like 'jenga' (that's not her name is really spelt, but it's to protect her identity), so I'll be need your help to get some good puns.

If you guys can't think of any, the other teachers last name is Daher (pronounced "darr"), so suggestions for her name would be nice too. Thanks!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/HolyHypodermics
πŸ“…︎ Feb 01 2020
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When my buddies take acid im always with them to make sure there safe . You could say im a ...

trip advisor

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πŸ‘€︎ u/justcallmemuffin
πŸ“…︎ Sep 09 2019
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I recently started a management role working at a local soup kitchen

I'm the new soup advisor

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πŸ‘€︎ u/fletcherox
πŸ“…︎ Aug 09 2019
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Last Christmas

My Mom dropped a doozy! I had made my brother a wizard's staff as a gift, my Dad helped. My Mom said, "...[Dad] was his staff advisor." Festivities halted and we had a solid 5 minutes of laughter. It was a good Christmas.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Angry__Jellyfish
πŸ“…︎ Aug 15 2014
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